Hello - ive posted this in legal as well but feel so low and could do with some support to help me deal with how I'm feeling right now.
I really hope you can help me as my sol is in holiday and so I'm not able to get advice:/
My ex took me to court several months ago to change the contact arrangements. What he was asking for was pretty outrageous but on top of that, his application was really vile- full of lies about my failings as a mother and it was absolutely devastating to read. He wrote several letters to cafcass and ss trying to convince them of the same. Anyway were ordered to attend mediation ( something he refused over and over). The mediation process has been pretty horrible- he has lied repeatedly and I spent the whole time defending myself against him while the mediator took a back seat. Suddenly though, he has now decided he wants to pull out of the court process and have more mediation. He said he has realised that the family courts are useless and he thinks we can sort it ourselves.
Here's the thing though- I KNOW I should be elated. I would have given anything to hear this a few months ago because i was terrified of court, but I am not. I am furious that he has put me through this for nothing. The next hearing is days away and I think his reasons for pulling out are 1) financial and 2) he realised he would be cross examined over his lies and found to be nothing but malicious. He however, is painting himself to the mediator as the paragon of reason and is doing this for our child, when I know it's not.
My questions are: do I let him drop it? As he was the one who made the application do I even have a choice? Can I do anything to make all of this mean something ( ie demand a written apology for the allegations or negotiate a better deal for me in terms of contact?)
I am really raw today, and actually surprised at my own feelings about this. It's affected me more than when I first received the summons. In the last few months I have been on sleeping tablets, tranquilizers, beta blockers and been referred for CBT because if this man and the sheer fear of court. Now that he casually wants to walk away from it, I realise I will be living in fear that he'll do it again.
Sorry for my emotional outpouring. I guess I need to know if there are any 'balls' in my court or is it completely down to him where we go from here? I don't feel like im the same person I was anymore. Like he just keeps taking so much from me:/
TIA
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Court and mediation- at my wits end:/
18 replies
allfornothing · 20/02/2013 09:50
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