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Sex again.... not with the teen in the house

(30 Posts)
dogsdogseverywhere Sun 17-Feb-13 21:08:04

Have namechanged.

So... DH says we can't have sex with DD (15) in the house. It puts him off, she might hear him. Apparently we have to wait until she leaves home (DD intends to go to uni locally and will commute rather than move away). Fab.

I have no idea how to deal with this, has been 4 months since he said this (not that I'm counting lol), I can appreciate where he's coming from but neither of us have ever been moany groany shouty types during sex and I can't see that changing. Also have a younger DS but he isn't the issue as goes to bed/sleep alot earlier than us.

DD doesn't go to sleepovers, she doesn't go out much - very studious currently studying for exams.

Any words of wisdom appreciated. Thank you

dogsdogseverywhere Sun 17-Feb-13 22:02:45

Thank you for all your comments, you've made me realise I am not being unreasonable here.

I think a chat is in order, not looking forward to that but not looking forward to no sex forever either blush

AnyFucker Sun 17-Feb-13 22:02:50

teenagers know not to walk in unexpectedly

to think otherwise is insulting to them

he is treating her like a bedhopping 3yo

God help you all when she starts getting boyfriends

I really hope he doesn't start visiting his fucked-up attitude on his own daughter's sex life

fluffyraggies Sun 17-Feb-13 22:19:46

Just a thought - but this is maybe a weird precursor for him to ban sex in the house for your DDs?

I mean he's maybe he is struggling with the idea that your DD will one day be having sex and feels if he can say 'in this house we do not have s e x' then he wont have to deal with it.

FWIW DH and i don't allow DDs boyfriends to stay over at our house. 2 of our DDs are sexually active with our certain knowledge and blessing, however, they know not to ask to have BFs sleep here. We have chosen to make our home a place that welcomes boyfriends various for meals, family gatherings, film nights etc - but no shagging. They can do that at the BF's.

When you have your chat perhaps get into the conversation that it's normal not to relish the idea of your own kids having sex. Explore the idea that it is going to happen. It's normal and good that it's going to happen. He isn't going to have to have it going on under his nose though, just because you two have a sex life in the house.

I feel like i'm talking twaddle! And i'm probably way off the mark, but it's a thought?

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay Sun 17-Feb-13 23:49:56

Four teens in this house and we still have an active sex life!
Granted it's confined to the bedroom these days more late night shagging in the living room grin as we never know who is going to reappear late at night!

Teens KNOW their parents still have sex.. I know my older children (aged 18-21) are having a sex life too and we are mutually respectful of this! Unless you are swinging from the light fittings and screaming I can't see a problem.

However I think any man saying no more sex DOES have a problem..and something is not rightsad

badinage Mon 18-Feb-13 01:14:17

I'm not comfy with all these posts inferring that just because he's a bloke, he won't want to give up on sex. It's more a case of it being strange for anyone who's used to having a regular sex life suddenly inventing excuses for why it can't happen - and this one is really scraping the bloody barrel.

We've got kids of assorted ages from teens upwards living at home and it's never bothered us one jot. They know we have sex and would be frankly astonished if we weren't. We've never been bothered about the older ones having their partners to stay either, as long as they change their own sheets and empty their own bins.

There's a reason for your husband going off sex and it's not this. Could be anything.....drop in libido, erectile dysfunction, health problem, excessive wanking and desensitisation to RL sex, an affair, problems in his perception of your relationship. What isn't fair is to lie to you about it and expect you to remain celibate without discussion. So I'd tackle this head-on.

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