This situation is flipped from a lot of the situations on here and I'm hoping to get some perspective. I'm with a very lovely, kind man, who is an excellent stay at home Dad to our DS (4) and DD (2). EXCEPT I have been supporting him emotionally and financially since his Mum became ill and he nursed her til her death, which was 7 years ago now. He hasn't worked since then, and in case you think I am joyfully pursuing a marvellous career, I am not - I feel trapped in a job I hate because I have had to keep the roof over our heads. I have begged him many times to find some part time work, to free me up to be with the children a bit more, or to do a course so that at some point we can start to share the financial burden. He is charming but without any drive or passion. I am sure he is depressed - but will not do anything about it. We've been to various counsellors, I've been on anti-depressants and make myself sick with worry about making ends meet. I discovered in January he's run up a £3k overdraft on his personal account, and the final straw was yesterday when I worked from home (I juggle work and childcare two days a week to free him up to jobsearch) and his internet history showed, well bascially, mucking about. We are barely talking, and I am frankly turning into a right old cow as I am so angry and disappointed. What's more, he's always been this way, charming and feckless, so I am kicking myself for marrying him, although wouldn't be without our lovely kids.
If I were a bloke posting this about a woman, I think maybe you would all be outraged. And he's nowhere near the scumbag status of many of the men written about here! But I really do think I have a right to ask for more from him, and if he cannot / will not give it, I am right in calling an end to the relationship. Or simply put, I am not happy and have tried very, very hard to be, and have bveen supportive for a long, long time. So bloody hard though, and I am very worried about the effects on the kids too.
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Relationships
I want to leave a lovely man
14 replies
eejaykay · 12/02/2013 16:07
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