Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Ex at wedding

(207 Posts)
Heynegrita Tue 12-Feb-13 13:58:25

I am going to be chief bridesmaid at a wedding soon. My ex partner will be there with his new girlfriend. I left him approx 2 years ago for another man.

He has said I cannot bring my new partner to the wedding.

The wedding couple are friends of both of us. The groom being my ex's best friend.

Although I feel I cannot say anything as I would not spoil the wedding, I am wondering if I can leave early. I feel everyone will be judging me as all my exh friends have said they don't want my partner at the wedding either.

We are all in our thirties.

waltermittymissus Fri 15-Feb-13 18:57:59

I actually don't think he could have asked ever! It's not his wedding to ask about!

He could have asked the b&g not to invite her I suppose. But I suspect he either did that already or he wouldn't want to!

ravenAK Fri 15-Feb-13 19:24:32

I think OP should email the ex back, saying: 'I've already agreed to attend the wedding, at which I am a BM, without my DP. This was as a concession to you.

I'm not going to let B&G down & it's completely unreasonable of you to suggest it.

So I will be attending as planned. You can make your own decision based on this, but if I do see you there, rest assured that I'll do my best to stay out of the way of you & gf, but will be civil & friendly when we do encounter each other.'

I don't see any reason to pander to him. He is entirely entitled to feel however he does about the break up of your marriage, & entirely entitled to stay away from events at which you'll be present - what he doesn't get to do is to dictate your actions.

Heynegrita Fri 15-Feb-13 20:34:50

He asked that DP would not be invited. That is not the issue .

SolidGoldBrass Fri 15-Feb-13 22:01:08

Anyone who tries to make their hurt feelings everyone else's problem is a failure and was undoubtedly a shit partner in the first place. Don't forget that people often get dumped because they are losers and crappy partners - leaving a relationship is a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

wheredidiputit Sat 16-Feb-13 08:02:13

Have you ever met his GF. You say they were very close friends at work but nothing more before you left. I'm just wondered if there was more to it and he doesn't want his girlfriend to let slip that they were together before you left. And his friends find out he has being not telling them the truth about what happen and made you out to be beyond evil.

Heynegrita Sat 16-Feb-13 08:10:04

I have never met her. They were very close friends and obviously attracted to each other. I am sure nothing inappropriate happened whilst we were married though.

wheredidiputit Sat 16-Feb-13 08:14:24

Well I would say it did, and he is blaming you for your marriage break and in doing so not having to admit what he did.

And why he s acting like he is about this wedding, because he can see his house of cards falling down around him.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: