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I want to call OW - please talk to me about why I should or shouldn't

(77 Posts)
AloneSoon Mon 11-Feb-13 11:49:49

H had a long affair which I found out about a few weeks ago.

I have the OW mobile number and I want to call her and ask if it really started when he says it did (was it going on longer)? Did she really think it was all over between me and him? What lies did he spin her?

I know deep down that I will not achieve anything constructive. But by god I want to do it.

ErikNorseman Tue 12-Feb-13 19:10:25

I text the ow the day I found out, I kind of wish I hadn't, but never mind. I really wanted to email her, so I posted it on here and talked it over with the lovely MNers. I can't tell you how glad I am that I never sent it. I had to contact her recently for work, and I'm just so pleased that I can write her name into the to box with no cringing and with my dignity intact!

AloneSoon Tue 12-Feb-13 23:37:14

Thanks all. I've got the Shirley Glass book and both H and I are reading it.

Ivykaty makes a good point that I can change my mind.

This thread has been really helpful in crystallising thoughts in my head. I think I had it in mind that if we worked on the relationship and got to a place where I could start to forgive, then that would be it. This has made me realise that, actually, I might think we're heading that way but if I can't actually forgive, then I can change my mind. Whether that's one month, 6 months or a year away.

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