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Oh god... Slept with my BFF....

(126 Posts)
icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 21:34:25

What was I thinking!!!.... Would it be considered ' cheating' on my partner?? It wont happen again...there have been a few jokey comments today so am not worried about losing our friendship... That said, its all feeling a bit freaky!!

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 23:24:53

Maryz... You are right... And I would be mortified to find that out... So yes.. im off to be with my tail between my legs! Thanks for the reality check all!!

KatieMiddleton Sun 10-Feb-13 23:24:54

grin Maryz

toomuch2young Sun 10-Feb-13 23:26:18

So you are a 40 year old woman, who has not only has a 'BFF' but then shags them after some wine?! And then posts on mumsnet to ask of its cheating?

Sounds like one for Jeremy Kyle smile

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 23:31:36

Thanks katie, like I said, I have had my reality check.... Have you never done something stupid?? I am properly mortified by my behaviour and have noone to blame but myself, but still, I was hoping to have a bit of friendly support here about this mistake

TDada Sun 10-Feb-13 23:33:03

How old are you icie ?

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 23:34:36

Oh god!thanks toomuch!

toomuch2young Sun 10-Feb-13 23:34:39

She's 40 TD

Obviously. wink

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 23:36:06

I am early 40s... And should know better clearly!!

TDada Sun 10-Feb-13 23:37:12

so then put it down to midlife wobbles wink. You are a good egg hun; don't worry about it

fuckwittery Sun 10-Feb-13 23:38:16

I'm going to be kind and think that BFF was tongue in cheek. My dh wouldn't consider it cheating he says. Real life is gender biased! Why are people suggesting the op is a troll?

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 23:42:51

Thanksfuckwit... I am definetly not a troll... But boy its an eyeopener with a name change and a dilemma on here!!!

KatieMiddleton Sun 10-Feb-13 23:47:16

Have you never done something stupid?

Yeah loads of stupid things, but I have never shagged someone else then very casually posted on MN asking if it's cheating... and I would never use the term BFF either

My stupidity is more along the lines of trying to do everything, failing to be very kind to myself and not saying "no" more. Or forgetting to put the colander under the saucepan to drain pasta. Not so much the doing the nasty when pissed with somebody who's not dh and posting about it in the manner of a 14 year old.

almostanotherday Sun 10-Feb-13 23:48:04

It was the drink I'm guessing would it of happened if you were both sober?

KatieMiddleton Sun 10-Feb-13 23:51:37

If this is genuine, what sort of support are you looking for? Other than asking if it's cheating you've not really said.

icemaidensu Sun 10-Feb-13 23:54:14

Its genuine katie... I dont know what I was looking for when I posted, hindsight is a wonderful thing!

toomuch2young Sun 10-Feb-13 23:54:38

Oh op do stop whining. Don't you realise you cheated on your partner.
In many people's book that's a pretty serious thing. But oh no, you think it's fine to light heartedly come on here wittering on like a teenager about BFFs, and forgetting the fact you cheated!!
What support do you want exactly? You asked a question, is it cheating, and you got answers. Did you expect everyone to say 'aww what a shame, course it's not really cheating hun'

icemaidensu Mon 11-Feb-13 00:01:41


MidnightMasquerader Mon 11-Feb-13 00:03:04

Man sleeps with OW = cheating
Woman sleeps with OM = cheating
Man sleeps with OM = cheating

Woman indulges in a little on-the-side sapphic fun = no harm done.

Who knew?

AnyFucker Mon 11-Feb-13 00:04:32

Have there been some very big upheavals in your life recently ?

How is your relationship with your male partner ?

TDada Mon 11-Feb-13 00:05:29

why don't we test the sterotype and ask hubby to join in next time....taboo but had to be said

fuckwittery Mon 11-Feb-13 00:05:50

Actually a few people have said their partners do not see it as cheating.

People have different views of fidelity. The important thing is what YOUR DP would think. What do you think he would say if you told him?

thecatneuterer Mon 11-Feb-13 00:07:00

Blimey indeed!

And the ironic thing is that if this were a mainly male forum I bet the reaction would be completely different (and I'm not talking about the obvious purient interest). I've had this hypothetical conversation with many men in the past, and the vast majority wouldn't consider it as 'proper' cheating and had a similar reaction to the poster's husband above.

icemaidensu Mon 11-Feb-13 00:08:37

Am stepping away now, namechanging back...
Thanks all for making me see clearly the error of my ways

TDada Mon 11-Feb-13 00:08:57

calls for a MN survey i think

TDada Mon 11-Feb-13 00:11:25

Glad that tyou found answers here. MN great for sorting out these dilemnas.

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