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So he was a cocklodger. What does that say about me?

(59 Posts)
BesameBesame Sat 09-Feb-13 20:35:21

I'm staring another thread because I've come to the conclusion he was a cocklodger. I googled it. He fits the description almost to a tee.

No wonder he went so easily. He must have been waiting daily for me to get a grip and kick him out. And he had the nerve to say my timing was bad, he'd got nowhere to go and no worldly goods to show.

FFS! I need to rant some…..

something2say Thu 14-Feb-13 21:24:16

We do indeed x

BesameBesame Thu 14-Feb-13 21:11:57

This last week has been so good.

My stress levels have gone RIGHT down. I've eaten what I want when I want. I've got up in the morning and actually wanted to go to work rather than crawl back under the covers and escape just for some time alone. I've been out. I've arranged to cook my bessie mate a meal at the weekend and much wine will be had. I'm calm and I've been singing in the car. And I've realised what a heavy load I've been carrying all these months - which wasn't mine to carry.

But he has to come back and get some stuff he forgot to take. I don't know when it'll be but I know i will be fine with it.

I won't be making that mistake again. Next bloke who declares he loves me when he doesn't even know me will get the heave-ho.

We live and learn don't we. grin

TDada Tue 12-Feb-13 20:06:51

Besame- lol grin

BesameBesame Tue 12-Feb-13 07:54:38

Tdada then they could all live in the same shit place and we can call it Misogynists Road.grin

TDada Mon 11-Feb-13 22:39:12

With house prices being what they are......

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 11-Feb-13 07:53:12

(Guessing Paternal Grandfather)

mercury7 Mon 11-Feb-13 01:49:55

I recently found out that my ex had c*cklodged with 4 other women before he met me..he'd obviously had plenty of time to polish up his moves before he moved in with me.
When I found out everything kinda fell into place and made sense
It was years and years ago had no idea at the time blush

TrippleBerryFairy Mon 11-Feb-13 00:30:17

What it says about you? That you had the experience, learned and won't be repeating it. I had a milder version of this in the past (when I was young and inexperienced), the guy borrowed some money (supposedly for uni books, 'threatening' to WALK from one big city in USA to another if I don't give as he apparently had nothing on him... oh turn back the clock I would tell him to hit the road NOW)

TDada Sun 10-Feb-13 23:52:05

Should be a national register of cocklodgers?

SoleSource Sun 10-Feb-13 23:48:50

What is PGF?

BesameBesame Sun 10-Feb-13 21:27:26

have just burned all his 'business' cards on the fire grin

deleted his number and all texts etc. am just about to do the same on email.

His EX called him a knob recently. She was absolutely right.

izzyizin Sun 10-Feb-13 21:06:13

'my DD's loss overshadowed his grand 'poor me' exit'

No it wasn't. The insincere skank slunk out in much the same way he slunk in which is not worthy of note.

Whereas your dd's PGF was known for his sincerity and made his exit with dignity.

AnyFucker Sun 10-Feb-13 20:56:54


Nothing more to say really x

BesameBesame Sun 10-Feb-13 20:48:51

Thank you izzy. DD had lots of cuddles and tears and we talked about her PGF.

As she left to go back to college (her way of coping with these things) she mentioned CL's response. "What a knobbish way to behave" was her judgment.

Knobbish indeed . Indeed.

izzyizin Sun 10-Feb-13 20:25:28

What a charmer - and what a shame he wasn't the one who joined the choir immortal today.

Your poor dd - save some of that champers to toast her PGF, bless his soul.

BesameBesame Sun 10-Feb-13 20:21:24

He came to get his stuff. This is not unbelievable to those with eyes wide open.

But all sorry for himself, he got some shit together whilst i felt quite sorry for him (made him a cup of tea) and was wondering whether to say that we could keep in touch in the future, when this happened:

My lovely DD who was being very nice to CL got a call from her DF with the sad news that her PGF has died. She went to pieces. I said (wryly) to CL "well you certainly know how to walk into a situation" and he said:

"yep and i'm walking straight out of one too". Without so much as a glance in DD's direction he said he was loading up his car, as he went out the front door he said "byeee" in a false tone and was gone.

So - my DD's loss overshadowed his grand 'poor me' exit.

I am so glad I'm not hurting over him. Have had RL friend round who brought Champagne and 'good for you' wishes.

Never again.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 10-Feb-13 16:33:41

"was advised by lawyers"

Yes I realise - even with a wine - that it is a complete non-starter legally. smile Although I saw an idea for a different kind of dating site recently which sort of combines social media with introductions... meaning you're getting together with someone that is already known to your acquaintances rather than (the thing that scares me right off dating sites) chancing your arm with some random stranger on whom you have zero background information beyond what they choose to tell you.

OneMoreGo Sun 10-Feb-13 13:59:22

I've always thought that Clitlodger had a nice ring, for a woman I mean. grin And well done OP! Congrats on seeing the light.

BesameBesame Sun 10-Feb-13 13:48:26

I've learned from this experience (to answer an earlier poster's question) that my ability to be patient with people generally, can be a weakness when embroiled with a CL.

Thus, for months I waited for the promised 'jam'. During that time he didn't work, didn't look for work ("won't leave the house for some minimum wage shit job") TURNED DOWN work, borrowed money (not from me), failed to open mail which he knew were his outstanding bills - had all kinds of idiotic business ideas, oh you know the script.

Anyhoo, by the time the 'jam' appeared - and it has - I've had enough. I could see the future and it wasn't good ,well not for me any way.

I don't feel like a twit though. As you say kali we can't see the future and can only go on the here and now to tell us what's up. And mine won't have any trouble whatsoever in finding another - he too is very good-looking and for a while will be able to flash the cash around. Til it runs out. wink

BeforeAndAfter Sun 10-Feb-13 12:07:36

Thus far I've dodged the cocklodger bullet - just. My personal rules are now that any lucky bastard that gets within sniffing distance of me must live alone, must have a social life and we either go halves on nights out or take it in turns to pay.

I've got too close to two men who lived with Mum and Dad (with plausible reasons that I fell for). So no monkeys for me - you know, the type that only let go of their current branch and swing to yours when they know they've got a good grip on you.

ImperialBlether Sun 10-Feb-13 12:06:32

It's a bit Jeremy Kyle in practice, I think!

ImperialBlether Sun 10-Feb-13 12:05:57

Cogito, I planned to start up a site doing just that and was advised by lawyers not to as there was no way of telling whether people were telling the truth. A couple of years later, a similar site started up in the USA, called www.don' I was too scared to go ahead but that seems to be doing well.

kalidanger Sun 10-Feb-13 11:58:31

I'm dying to post a pic of EX - to stealth boast about his hotness plus as very serious warning to other women <ahem> hmm

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 10-Feb-13 11:47:12

I occasionally, over a glass of wine, think that the world is crying out for a kind of TripAdvisor or Ebay rating system for available men.... warn future women he may come into contact with. smile (Or it may exist... old gimmer... knows nothing)

kalidanger Sun 10-Feb-13 10:58:58

littlemisssarcastic Me and mine had vast cultural differences, which makes what you say absolutely correct, but in a slightly different way. Not yer classic pathetic manchild but entitled in other ways. He was also extremely handsome and could therefore get himself into these situations with ease.

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