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Is it best to "surprise" DH and come home with short hair?

(38 Posts)
Watfordsue Mon 04-Feb-13 14:06:43

Hi Girls, I am in a dilema about what to do about cutting my hair. Like most men DH likes it long but I am so desperate to cut it I am scared he will talk me out of it. I am very petite and I always had Pixie cuts till I was about 19 and then grew it as boys liked long hair. Since having DS1 six years ago I started wearing it simply all scraped back in a band permanently off my face, This was great and easy especially when DS2 and DD1 came along! When we manage to get out together I try to make the effort with the heated rollers and wear it loose and curly, DH thinks its sexy. When DD was two last year I felt I needed a job as after spending years with babies I was short of adult conversation and when DH came home it was always baby talk. I managed to get a perfect Part Time job in a local cafe, I absolutely LOVE it, I have gained confidence, got my slim figure back, I feel I am contributing to the family and most importantly I feel so much better about myself. The only problem with working in a cafe is the smell........I come home and stink of food all over me. I tend to shower every morning and again quickly when I get home but the problem is that I just don't have the time to wash my hair daily after work and it stinks of fried food all the time. Even though its scraped back I can smell it round my face and my bedding and pillows stink also. I feel going back to a simple Pixie cut would be perfect, 30 seconds blowing and I will feel great, the problem is DH, if I mention that I would like to cut my hair short, he will probably say how much he likes me long and I will feel guilty cutting it, the other option is to just have it done after work, he then comes home to a sassy new wife and I just surprise him. My friends are undecided on what is best to do, they also have husbands who like long hair! My Mum who went through the same thing with my Dad said it was 10 years before she finally cut hers, I can't put up with this that long. Mum came out with a good line and said, " You are nearly 30, a big mortgage and 3 kids, what can he do!!"

I would appreciate advice on what to do.......

I have posted this on two boards as I am unsure which is best.


jynier Fri 08-Feb-13 03:33:52

Whoops! Fat fingers" Should have said, "Aaw, OP Such a sweet post!

jynier Fri 08-Feb-13 03:31:40

Aaw, "OP* Such a sweet post!

Watfordsue Fri 08-Feb-13 01:30:28

Hi everyone, thanks for all your comments and advice. I think I came over a bit soft, I certainly don't do as he says, in fact he has never told me to do anything, however I agree it is my appearance and as such I will decide. The reason I was a bit hesitant is because we do both like to please each other in many aspects of our relationship. Anyhow, I have sorted out the issue, I have decided to have a beauty spa day package together with my cousin, for facials, nails, brows etc.... including a new hairstyle. I have told DH that I will be coming home looking like a new wife, he was pleased and said have a great day! Some of you may think I am mad but I feel better at least warning him. So, we will book it for next Saturday and see how it goes.
Thanks for all your advice.

waltermittymissus Thu 07-Feb-13 20:14:12

You'd be better off posting this in Feminism. They'd love to help you out...

BIWI Thu 07-Feb-13 20:08:33

I'm wondering, now, if this is some kind of experiment - to see what kind of responses you get if you post in Relationships as opposed to Style and Beauty. hmm

As stage two, try posting in Feminism.

MajesticWhine Tue 05-Feb-13 17:20:40

I think do it without telling him before. He might love it in reality when he sees it, but would probably be negative about it if you forewarn him and give him a chance to think about it.

smallnotfaraway Tue 05-Feb-13 17:08:35

LOL @ Ragwort - All I meant was that a pixie looks REALLY (honestly, truthfully) best with a youthful face with a petite frame, like the OP has, and that 30 is definitely young smile

Personally, I have about 20% silver long hair (not coloured) and am well over a decade past 30.

diddl Tue 05-Feb-13 10:10:08

Ragwort-you have the "hairstyle" that I´m heading towards!

I currently have shoulder length dark brown hair-with the odd white/silver hair.

Ragwort Tue 05-Feb-13 08:03:31

while you're still only 30, a pixie cut is still likely to look cute and not too mumsy - I finally got rid of my pixie cut when I was 50 - hate to think what you lot would have thought of my appearance, or even now with shoulder length grey hair grin .

smallnotfaraway Tue 05-Feb-13 00:05:31

I hate my long hair smelling of cooking when I'm cooking, so I tie it back and wear a headscarf, which keeps the smell off my hair. However, I can understand why you crave the convenience of quick-dry short hair - washing long hair is a pain, and when I had very short hair as a student, I really appreciated that aspect. Wouldn't go back to short hair now though, as I find my longer hair gives the appearance of youthfulness (and I am not young).

However, you sound like you'd just prefer your hair short, and while you're still only 30, a pixie cut is still likely to look cute and not too mumsy, as you're petite, and you know that it's a style which suits you. I do think you should let your DH know that you're going to the hairdresser first though - and tell him it will make you feel like a teenager again smile

schmoodles Mon 04-Feb-13 22:35:22

Ha this has to be a journalist or a wind up.

Steadyonthere Mon 04-Feb-13 21:25:40

LOL @ Apocalypto

Apocalypto Mon 04-Feb-13 21:24:37

He probably won't notice, whatever you do.

Uppermid Mon 04-Feb-13 21:15:29

It's your hair. Your dh is married to you not your hair. If he has a melt down, you have bigger problems than a haircut!

TravelinColour Mon 04-Feb-13 21:10:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Coconutty Mon 04-Feb-13 21:10:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cocolepew Mon 04-Feb-13 21:09:26

Cut it. Its your hair hmm

Steadyonthere Mon 04-Feb-13 21:08:38

@Shellington - glad you care not a jot re your forthcoming tattoo. I have loads and loads, my DP doesn't like them. I don't tell him when I plan new ones, just show him each new addition when its been done and say "do you like my new tattoo?" He replies "No" to which I say "good" then we laugh & carry on with life as was, neither of us giving a second thought to the ink on my skin.

More on topic, I also have a v short pixie crop. DP adores it and thinks very short hair is incredibly feminine. I wouldn't consult him on my hair cut any more than I'd expect him to consult me on his.

I guess we both just think that there are more important things.

Still, different strokes for different folks n all that :-)

Piecesofmyheart Mon 04-Feb-13 21:07:37

Tell him to get a dog.

Jayne266 Mon 04-Feb-13 21:04:54

My husband likes long hair (like when we met) and I have short hair now my choice. Prob being a bit blunt but my hair, I am the one who has to style it everyday and live with it
result= my choice xxx

elfycat Mon 04-Feb-13 21:03:36

A few years ago DH and I made a deal on hair. I kept mine long and he NEVER grows facial hair (I've seen pics and he goes Grizzly-Adams in about 12 days).

Luckily I like my hair long, if I didn't I would get it cut to shoulder length, wax-lyrical about the advantages (to give warning) and then go for the shorter cut. It would also give me a halfway stage to make sure I wanted it short. He would not have a say in it. And then I'd have to hope he likes being clean shaven.

Oh dear, he went to sea last year. Beards are all the rage...

sarahseashell Mon 04-Feb-13 20:51:08

why not just tell him beforehand and not let him talk her out of it confused

Shellington Mon 04-Feb-13 20:50:04

You say "I am going to the hairdressers later" as you would tell him any other part of your day/week.
Then go and get the cut you want.

I am envy I don't think I could carry off a pixie cut but it sounds very easy to keep and can look so nice.

As an aside, I have every intention of getting a small hip/rib tattoo in the next year or so - DH hates the idea. I care not a jot grin

Helltotheno Mon 04-Feb-13 20:42:45

If OP tells her DH what she's about to do, he will succeed in talking her out of it so why should she?

Your hair, your choice OP. It wouldn't even occur to me to tell DH what I was doing with my hair unless I wanted a general opinion (and the opinion wouldn't change my mind anyway).

Sounds as if the short hair will suit you!

scarletforya Mon 04-Feb-13 14:49:50

I don't like short hair on men and if DP came home with short hair, I would be disappointed and struggle to hide it. If he gave me notice I would be more prepared. So I wouldn't suprise him OP.

All people, male and female are hard wired to find certain things sexually attractive/unattractive. There is nothing wrong with that. It's just fact.

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