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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

what would you do to your husband if he said this ........

76 replies

batmanstinks · 02/02/2013 20:43

We were having a conversation last night (after a bottle of wine) about our friends.

We have recently moved and have a new circle of friends so we were assessing them.

One couple is lovely and, out of nowhere, DH said 'X is lovely, I think she might be my ideal woman. If things were different I probably would have married her'

I pointed out that this was maybe an inappropriate thing to say and he said 'it's alright, I don't fancy her as much as you'

.

I would have been justified in cutting his balls off in the night wouldn't I!

OP posts:

Report

Doha · 02/02/2013 20:46

If he was my DH he would be sporting a rather fetching pair of earings right now

Chottie · 02/02/2013 20:49

I would have been annoyed too! What's wrong with him?

SavoyCabbage · 02/02/2013 20:50

Why would he say that! Did he forget who he was talking to? I wouldn't want to see them again a I'd be too embarrassed.

PureQuintessence · 02/02/2013 20:52

I would have been so hurt.

frustratedworkingmum · 02/02/2013 20:52

insensitive twunt, is he TRYING to make things awkward

MrsAlexanderSkarsgard · 02/02/2013 20:53

Has he always been an insensitive tit?

batmanstinks · 02/02/2013 20:54

I have no idea.

He is useless with women and couldn't have an affair if he tried. He is also a terrible liar. He does have a lot in common with her as she shares an interest of his (which I don't) so I think it was just an extension of 'yes, isn't she nice' and he forgot himself.

I'm a bit hurt though! Not necessarily that he thinks it, but that he didn't have the decency to keep it to himself.

OP posts:

Xroads · 02/02/2013 20:55

Is he usually an insensitive twat?

If not I'd let it go but keep a wary eye on time spent on their own if he is usually like that I'd make plans to LTB

hth

batmanstinks · 02/02/2013 20:57

He's normally very awkward around women (and a little bit terrified).

OP posts:

badtemperedaldbitch · 02/02/2013 20:57

Thing is, my dh would say summat like that too, when he'd had a drink. He's not thinking of going anywhere..... Just that he's dead comfortable with me that he COULD say it iyswim

Charliefox · 02/02/2013 20:57

I'd be staying in a hotel tonight and seriously rethinking things. I do have extremely high expectations of my OH though and expect to be worshipped and his ideal woman. Not in a high maintenance way but I wouldn't stick around if my OH thought there was someone else out there who was his ideal woman. Otherwise, I'd feel like he was settling for second best in me.

Xroads · 02/02/2013 20:58

I suppose you could possibly take it as a compliment, he is honest enough to tell you this, you know he wouldn't ever cheat which is reassuring and even though they have lots in common he still wants you more than her

izzyizin · 02/02/2013 20:58

Why didn't you point out that 'if things were different' you might have married Johnny Depp (substitute movie star of your choice), or that rather fetching hunk up the road or the one you see on your various travels who looks as if he's well hung a high achiever?

badtemperedaldbitch · 02/02/2013 20:59

Ps we have been togethersince 1991 and are still loved up!

batmanstinks · 02/02/2013 20:59

I do think he said it out of security more than anything else. He looked a bit bewildered when I minded.

OP posts:

Xroads · 02/02/2013 21:08

There you are then Awww have a cuddle

GrendelsMum · 02/02/2013 21:12

I'd roar with laughter and never let him forget it, I'm afraid. But then my DH said shortly after we met "X is much sexier than you, but I think I'd get bored with her conversation so I've decided to marry you instead."

discrete · 02/02/2013 21:14

I wouldn't have minded a bit.

I probably would have teased him a fair bit about it, though.

But then I'm very, very secure in my relationship. I know he adores me.

MrsPnut · 02/02/2013 21:15

He sounds like my OH, he makes remarks about getting a Brazilian au pair etc and yet if another woman approached him he'd get scared and run a mile.

I'd be pissed off with him and tell him why but I know that the remarks would have been made through thoughtlessness rather than any real desire to be in a relationship with her.

OneMoreChap · 02/02/2013 21:17

batmanstinks

He is useless with women

No he isn't, he convinced you...

MarilynValentine · 02/02/2013 21:38

I think that's insensitive to the point of cruelty. You should be his ideal woman, the love of his life.

It was shit of him to say it. Where's his loyalty?!

Sorry.

BerylStreep · 02/02/2013 21:47

You were assessing your friends?

IMO that's more .

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JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 02/02/2013 21:51

Ugh, that would really upset me. Men can be so stunningly insensitive. I remember an ex saying "if you looked like [horrible girl I hated, who had big tits] I'd marry you" - twat!

And recently, my dp said that he would climb over my head to get to [random pretty actress] - he meant no harm by it and couldn't understand why it hurt my feelings, but I bet if I said it to him about an actor I liked he'd suddenly get it!

Is he in the doghouse?

ThePinkOcelot · 02/02/2013 21:56

Wow! I would have went beserk!

MrsMushroom · 02/02/2013 21:57

To be honest it wouldn't upset me. I know DH so well that I understand that he would be thinking very literally...not emotionally. Is that possible with your DH?

I'm also rather literal and can take comments others might struggle with.

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