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How often do you see your in laws?

(35 Posts)
Ridersofthestorm Sat 02-Feb-13 17:24:03

Just wanted to know how often people on here see their in laws. Apparently because I don't jump for joy about seeing dp parents every weekend, or not wanting to invite them to EVERY outing we ever have I hate them. Not the case at all,they are lovely his mother tho at times can be interfering and judgmental. If we go anywhere with them its always were they want to go, what time we leave, we can all go in one car to save petrol we will pick you up We get organised like we're children ( dp loves it) and doesn't see how annoying it is.
I've had my first baby and I really want us to start being a proper family, doing things together etc. But his parents turn up at our house every weekend (they have rang dp about ten mins in advance, dp doesn't tell me until practically on doorstep). A good example is the other week I wanted to take baby for a walk around big park. We planned to go, about to leave his parents turned up, I told them where we were going and I felt I should invite them. If I didn't his mother would have invited herself so to save me being embarrassed i just asked them if they would like to come. They accepted (of course) but what pissed me off was they ended up planning we go somewhere else because it will be easier to push buggy (not as much mud). I stupidly just went "oh ok" when they asked if it was ok. If I make an issue dp will make me look bad in front if them like I'm being petty because they are trying to help.
It's like this all the time!! I just feel like a kid. I'm very independent and always have been. I don't like bring organised by people and I pretty much know my own mind about things. It's caused many an argument between me and dp. He loves being organised and babied by them, but I think they go over the top. I can't make even one comment about his parents doing this and he kicks off, we can't discuss it without an argument. I shouldn't have to tell them, they are not my parents and dp just let's them think its all great. I don't want to tell them because I hate confrontation like this, awkward.
There is more to all this but would take forever to go into it all but basically, does everyone have to see and spend every outing/part weekend with their parents/I'm laws?

MegaClutterSlut Sun 03-Feb-13 10:36:07

once sometimes twice a week

KatieScarlett2833 Sun 03-Feb-13 11:09:53

On a need to see basis. PILs have DC Tuesday after school, DH and FIL do DS football game on Sunday and we see MIL usually when we're dropping stuff off. Of course we see them every birthday, Christmas and are going on holiday with them again this year. As are my parents, who are best friends with PILs and see each other independently at least twice a week.......smile

user1496168534 Tue 30-May-17 20:24:37

Holly berry bush . Well said ! All I ever read on here is how awful the inlaws are . They seem to forget that it was the inlaws who brought their husbands and partners into the world , loved them but are then expected to hand them over to the new woman in their life and be treat like some outsider who is of no consequence . One day they will probably be mothers in law themselves and will learn what karma is about . I hope !

TheScottishPlay Tue 30-May-17 20:30:02

MIL every month or so as she doesn't go out much and have to make a point of visiting her. Often meet FIL when he is shopping or out for a walk. They are local to us so DH and DS see them more often.

noova61 Tue 30-May-17 20:40:39

Next time she turns up uninvited...ruffle your clothes and hair, shout over your shoulder, best get dressed your mothers here.... as you answer the door!!!! Works wonders...well did for me!

Mysteriouscurle Tue 30-May-17 22:21:26

Just because you dont insist on seeing your ds family every single weekend doesnt mean you are "of no consequence". Especially if your ds was unhappy with monthly visits from his ILs. sounds like double standards to me. Why is he entitled to spend more time with his family than you were allowed to spend with yours?

CakeMonster100 Tue 30-May-17 22:52:13

Zombie thread!!!

MyBonnieLiesOverTheOcean Tue 30-May-17 23:05:06

Only every couple of months. My inlaws are great company and I wish we lived closer to each other so we could see them more often. I enjoy spending time with them. Mind you they have always treated DH & I as adults and have never overstepped any boundaries so I count myself very very lucky!

Gillian1980 Wed 31-May-17 00:08:25

They live 45 mins away and we see them every 4-6 weeks on average. Sometimes more, sometimes less.

We all get on really well but have busy lives so that's what works for everyone.

My DPs live 5 mins away and I generally see them weekly with dc but often when dh is at work.

Gillian1980 Wed 31-May-17 00:09:06

Doh!
Sorry, didn't see it was a zombie!

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