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Advice needed, someones got a crush on ME

(443 Posts)
Usingtheplot Sat 02-Feb-13 09:40:10

This is probably going to sound really silly, but I'm hoping that someone,somewhere can help me deal with this very awkward situation I find myself in.
I'm a 43 year old single mom and work part time doing an incredibly boring job. That said, my colleagues are great and that makes things a little less tedious.I'm a very chatty and fairly confident person and find it easy to initiate conversation with even the most reserved people.
I have not been in a relationship for many years. This has not bothered me the slightest bit. I've not even had a serious romantic interest in a man.Friend s gave up trying to "pair me off" a long time ago and accept that I'm happy being single.
OK, I'll cut to the chase. One of the men at work, a senior member of staff,is someone I greatly admire. I often used to have a natter with him and I enjoyed his company. He's very popular,what you'd call a thoroughly nice man.We have a bit in common,but I wouldn't go so far as to say we were friends.We just shared a few light hearted chats ,nothing more. I didn't find him attractive,although I suppose he is quite good looking.
Recently though I've begun to dread meeting him at work,not because I don't want to see him or anything, but because he's acting like a love sick teenager when I'm around.
I don't know when it all started,it really took me by surprise.One day we were having our usual chat/banter and the next day he couldn't look me in the eye and was blushing furiously. It didn't help that I started blushing with embarrasment too.
I carried on my duties and decided this was a one off. When I passed his office I said hello etc and he blushed even more. I couldn't break the ice.This has continued for the past couple of weeks.He used to always say goodnight when he was leaving, but this has stopped. He avoids passing me in the corridor and when he does speak to me, he trips over his words and stammers.
I have to admit that I'm flattered by the fact he likes me, and I'm begining to think that I may like him too.
I really don't know why he's developed this crush on me. I've not said anything that would lead him on. I'm jovial but not outright flirty .
I just want to break this spell.

toucancancan Tue 07-May-13 20:45:15

€missmadly how are you now? Has work improved? And what about the guy?

Seenitall Thu 25-Apr-13 23:19:43

Are you for real - you owe me approx 1/2 of my life back whata fucking loads bollox - can't believe your falling for it

chocmallow Thu 25-Apr-13 14:15:58

Just caught up with this thread. So sorry OP - how are you?

ToffeeWhirl Fri 19-Apr-13 14:55:14

I'm sorry too, missmadly, and agree with claude's post. It's early days in your job and you are still the New Girl - it may change as you settle in. And I'm really sorry you feel let down by your date. It does sound as if he is still emotionally tied up with his ex. He might need more time - or you might need a different man. Don't give up hope though. As claude says, maybe this just shows you are ready for a relationship again.

claudedebussy Thu 18-Apr-13 11:59:40

so sorry missmadly. things WILL look up.

if he's going through a divorce / shagging his soon-tbex, he isn't really emotionally available.

think of it as a realisation that perhaps YOU'RE ready for a relationship with a decent bloke, who doesn't blow hot and cold and will treat you like a laydeee.

sorry the job isn't working out. it's not forever, just for now.

big ((((((((hugs))))))))

Missmadlyinlust Thu 18-Apr-13 11:56:24

Sorry for not posting earlier but I've been in such a state about everything.
Have been so down ,at my very lowest ebb,the job is not what I expected, I'm treated like a kid and as for the love interest,well,it has gone belly up.
The date we had planned never happened.
We had a few chats after our second date,the wondefull weekend etc.He seemed to have cooled off a bit, but I thought nothing much of it, I was so looking forward to seeing him again.
He had told me that he was staying with his brother whilst his divorce was being finalised.I believed him,why should he lie about that?
A couple of days before the date, I drove past his marital home at 7.30 in the morning to pick up my daughter who was staying at my Moms ( she's a couple of miles up the road from him).
In the drive was his car! What was he doing there at 7.30? His kids left home years ago,so it seemed very odd that he should be there.
.After I dropped my daughter off at school, I drove past his place of work and guess what? His car was there.
I felt physically sick. I couldn't stop shaking.
I didn't contact him,I was too upset to speak to him,but a few hours before our date he called me to say he couldn't make it as there were problems at home and his soon to be ex wife was very upset and needed some emotional support.
I told him I understood and left it at that.
I've not heard a word from him since. I'm gutted.I never in my wildest dreams thought he was a player.
I just feel so broken and lost.

ToffeeWhirl Wed 17-Apr-13 05:52:25

Any chance of an update, op? Hope everything's going well.

cjel Fri 12-Apr-13 22:03:33

How are you this week? Have you seen him again?

soaccidentprone Fri 12-Apr-13 21:46:32

So about 2 months to get together!

Well done op on hanging on in there when all appeared lostsmile

SisterMonicaJoan Thu 11-Apr-13 16:10:30

I'm hoping he's a stayer! You sound lovely op, good luck!! x

oldwomaninashoe Thu 11-Apr-13 13:51:43

Gosh, I'm so pleased for you!
Wishing you a fun filled future grin

ToffeeWhirl Thu 11-Apr-13 09:39:51

Oh, am so pleased for you, op! I hope this is the start of a long and happy relationship.


MummyOfSunbeam Wed 10-Apr-13 15:19:22

This is such a sweet thread. Congrats Using! That is awesome.

TooYappy Wed 10-Apr-13 13:05:35

Oh well done!!

Hope is a stayer, he sounds like he isn't a player which is good. Players are usually quite confident imbittere

chezziejo Wed 10-Apr-13 02:37:35

Wey hey grin did you arrange another date?

claudedebussy Tue 09-Apr-13 22:36:39


ToothGah Tue 09-Apr-13 22:03:10

Brilliant! Really, really pleased for you grin

Midwife99 Tue 09-Apr-13 22:02:54

Wow!! Bingo!! Yes I too hope he is a stayer not a player - shame he went funny when the colleagues came in!!

Missmadlyinlust Tue 09-Apr-13 22:00:16

Ok. So we had a date. Went bowling, not my idea;I'm really crap at bowling, well all sport for that matter.He tottally thrashed me,not that I care. It was fun,but I was expecting something a bit more " intimate".
Afterwards went for dinner at a local Indian. We had a brilliant time!Talked about just anything and everything.I was surprised at how easily the conversation flowed.
Everything was going fine until a group of colleagues from his ( my former) place of work came in. I said a cheery "hello", but he was sheepish. This unnerved me a bit to be honest,They were polite, but seemed surprised to see me and my date together. It did take the shine off things.
He hastily asked for the bill."what's the hurry?" I asked him. He explained this dating business was all new to him and he felt a tad uncomfortable, which I can understand.
Took me home, he was driving and as the kids were away I asked him if he'd like a Coffee?
Well,I got as far as putting the coffee in the cafatiere and ummmm....
He left at about 9pm on Sunday.
He even cooked breakfast.
Oh. I do hope he's a stayer and not a player.
I'm never going to wash the pillow cases, I just want to smell him forever.

GettingGoing Mon 08-Apr-13 13:58:26

bump <nosy too>

TooYappy Mon 08-Apr-13 13:21:11


Nice weekend? <nosy>

claudedebussy Sun 07-Apr-13 10:32:04

yes, me too!

chezziejo Sun 07-Apr-13 10:29:21

Well it's Sunday so I'm impatiently waiting for an update?

Hope this weekend went well grin

rubyrubyruby Mon 01-Apr-13 23:16:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FannyPriceless Mon 01-Apr-13 22:57:35

But did you ask why he was cruel to you at the work dinner? Did you talk about it?

He can't be mean one day and nice the next, and get away with it.

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