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Advice needed, someones got a crush on ME

(443 Posts)
Usingtheplot Sat 02-Feb-13 09:40:10

This is probably going to sound really silly, but I'm hoping that someone,somewhere can help me deal with this very awkward situation I find myself in.
I'm a 43 year old single mom and work part time doing an incredibly boring job. That said, my colleagues are great and that makes things a little less tedious.I'm a very chatty and fairly confident person and find it easy to initiate conversation with even the most reserved people.
I have not been in a relationship for many years. This has not bothered me the slightest bit. I've not even had a serious romantic interest in a man.Friend s gave up trying to "pair me off" a long time ago and accept that I'm happy being single.
OK, I'll cut to the chase. One of the men at work, a senior member of staff,is someone I greatly admire. I often used to have a natter with him and I enjoyed his company. He's very popular,what you'd call a thoroughly nice man.We have a bit in common,but I wouldn't go so far as to say we were friends.We just shared a few light hearted chats ,nothing more. I didn't find him attractive,although I suppose he is quite good looking.
Recently though I've begun to dread meeting him at work,not because I don't want to see him or anything, but because he's acting like a love sick teenager when I'm around.
I don't know when it all started,it really took me by surprise.One day we were having our usual chat/banter and the next day he couldn't look me in the eye and was blushing furiously. It didn't help that I started blushing with embarrasment too.
I carried on my duties and decided this was a one off. When I passed his office I said hello etc and he blushed even more. I couldn't break the ice.This has continued for the past couple of weeks.He used to always say goodnight when he was leaving, but this has stopped. He avoids passing me in the corridor and when he does speak to me, he trips over his words and stammers.
I have to admit that I'm flattered by the fact he likes me, and I'm begining to think that I may like him too.
I really don't know why he's developed this crush on me. I've not said anything that would lead him on. I'm jovial but not outright flirty .
I just want to break this spell.

Usingtheplot Wed 27-Feb-13 20:05:26

I can tell you it's a hell of a lot more difficult when you're in your forties.At least in your teens you have your mates to goad you and egg you on.
He looked super smart today, gorge fitted expensive looking shirt and black trousers instead of his usual grey M& S siut and white shirt.He'd had his hair cut and I detected a whiff of aftershave.

claudedebussy Wed 27-Feb-13 20:33:09

well done, using. this is rather exciting.

Usingtheplot Thu 28-Feb-13 21:33:29

Important update.
Today saw "crush" briefly. He seemed a bit more confident, but was wearing one of his 'orrible grey suits and a plain shirt. (Officials were buzzing about).

So I've just checked my facebook-only post funny bits and pieces, tunes, jokes etc. Of course I've looked for him on Facebook. His name is unusual and I manged to narrow his name down to a possible half dozen men, all without photos ,details etc. One "person" of the possible six,had an icon as their profile picture and moved it's way to position one. I looked at it a couple of times but it had not info whatsoever.

Just logged on and this namesake had overnight aquired two " friends". Had a sneaky peek and the friends have" friends", most of which hail from my small insignificant home town.


UnrequitedSkink Thu 28-Feb-13 21:35:14

Ummmm... ? No, I'm lost.

ImperialBlether Thu 28-Feb-13 22:25:05

OP, I hope you don't mind my saying this, but you're not harassing him, are you?

Usingtheplot Thu 28-Feb-13 22:29:30

No way! have been as cool as a cucumber.

UnrequitedSkink Thu 28-Feb-13 22:46:20

So what is the significance of someone with the same name on facebook suddenly acquiring a couple of friends? Please explain what you're thinking, I'm honestly baffled...

SouthernComforts Fri 01-Mar-13 09:21:09

Ermm ok op. This is getting a little obsessive now.

OverlyYappy Fri 01-Mar-13 10:06:08

I think it's a coincidence tbh unless he is very strange and people from your hometown stalk you.

You need to date him now, you have built him up to be some sort of sex goddess now, I'd put my money on you not liking him much when you date him.

Maryz Fri 01-Mar-13 10:07:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OverlyYappy Fri 01-Mar-13 10:14:42

I was thinking the same tbh!

It will be a month tomorrow and she has had Valentines Day, no excuse and all this touching and non touching and M&S suits and feeling all fluttery, its a bit too much like a book, not a good one.

Hurry up with the ending OP.

SouthernComforts Fri 01-Mar-13 10:45:45

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Usingtheplot Fri 01-Mar-13 10:47:27

I only wish it were a bloody story.I honestly wish I'd never met the bloke,taken the job etc.
I'm a wreck.Six weeks ago I used to look forward to seeing HIM and having a chat.I'd never in a million years think he "fancied" me or me like him romantically for that matter.
I've heard it said that people give off sexy chemical attractants when they are in love or have a crush. Someone mentioned this earlier.
Thank god it's Friday. Got lot's of stuff to keep me occupied this weekend.

OverlyYappy Fri 01-Mar-13 11:49:12

So you're not giving him the note then ? How long will this go on for? You need to man-up and do something, either that or move job and block the fucker and go back to single life with no men interests, much easier.

Is he your 'friend' on Facebook? If not why not? If he liked you he would have friended you imo, everyone tries to keep their numbers up.

Usingtheplot Fri 01-Mar-13 13:02:19

I am going to "woman up" to this guy.This week has been impossible, so much else going on at work.
I'm leaving soon, and I'm going to speak to him directly.I've nothing to lose.
This has only being going on for a month or so. I don't want to ruin any chance of friendship or possibly romance by riding rough shod over his feelings.
He hasn't mentioned my resignation yet, I'll try to use this opportunity to have a more honest talk with him.

cakeslover Fri 01-Mar-13 17:49:50


MrsMeow Fri 01-Mar-13 21:10:09

I've literally cringed the whole way through reading this. Nice one OP, hope your book/article goes well.

It's like 50 shades without the spanking and a bit more crap wink

Usingtheplot Fri 01-Mar-13 21:14:33

Didn't see him today.
Shoud have told you all about our serendipitous "association". When we first got talking I asked him where he lived. It's a remote village where I grew up. I asked ;"do you live at number so and so street. He replied "yes I do". It was the house I spent half my childhood in. I swear I am not making this up. It was the home of my beast friend of 25 years.
I had never clapped eyes on him before. I thought he looked like a middle age schoolboy, not anyone I could ever "fancy".
I am a tad psychic/receptic/intuative, but not mad.
The friend who live in that house fell out a good many years back. She had issue and was a manipulative bitch.
I think that on reflection, the crush and me had a few " moments", but I'm leaving my job in a months time and what will be will be.

Xiaoxiong Fri 01-Mar-13 22:06:24

I can't believe I read all the way through to the end of this thread and you haven't yet got drunk at work drinks and stuck your tongue down his throat.

Fuck "speaking to him directly". Organise leaving drinks, make sure he comes, ask if you can share a taxi home and bob's your uncle!

Xiaoxiong Fri 01-Mar-13 22:07:25

Of course, each to their own, that's just how I sealed the deal with DH wink

kerstina Fri 01-Mar-13 22:49:14

I love this thread, very entertaining, a good read but I think it might be fiction too especially with the use of the word' promptly' on the 26 the feb 20.28 sounds like a narrative rather than a description of real life. Hope I am wrong though and that you \we get a happy ending grin

ScarletWomanoftheVillage Sat 02-Mar-13 09:46:10

I think the editors would have their work cut out though hmm

Imaginethat Sat 02-Mar-13 10:07:46

Is he an architect and does he look like Richard Gere? You need to have a small car accident and have him be first on the scene. Then laugh it off and go to the pub. Together.

ImperialBlether Sat 02-Mar-13 14:41:50

When we first got talking I asked him where he lived. It's a remote village where I grew up. I asked ;"do you live at number so and so street. He replied "yes I do".

Sorry, I can't imagine that conversation.

"Where did you used to live?"
"Oh did you live at 11, Grove Road?"
"What a fortuitous coincidence!"

ImperialBlether Sat 02-Mar-13 14:42:34

And OP, I don't understand. Do you fancy this man or not?

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