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Advice needed, someones got a crush on ME

(443 Posts)
Usingtheplot Sat 02-Feb-13 09:40:10

This is probably going to sound really silly, but I'm hoping that someone,somewhere can help me deal with this very awkward situation I find myself in.
I'm a 43 year old single mom and work part time doing an incredibly boring job. That said, my colleagues are great and that makes things a little less tedious.I'm a very chatty and fairly confident person and find it easy to initiate conversation with even the most reserved people.
I have not been in a relationship for many years. This has not bothered me the slightest bit. I've not even had a serious romantic interest in a man.Friend s gave up trying to "pair me off" a long time ago and accept that I'm happy being single.
OK, I'll cut to the chase. One of the men at work, a senior member of staff,is someone I greatly admire. I often used to have a natter with him and I enjoyed his company. He's very popular,what you'd call a thoroughly nice man.We have a bit in common,but I wouldn't go so far as to say we were friends.We just shared a few light hearted chats ,nothing more. I didn't find him attractive,although I suppose he is quite good looking.
Recently though I've begun to dread meeting him at work,not because I don't want to see him or anything, but because he's acting like a love sick teenager when I'm around.
I don't know when it all started,it really took me by surprise.One day we were having our usual chat/banter and the next day he couldn't look me in the eye and was blushing furiously. It didn't help that I started blushing with embarrasment too.
I carried on my duties and decided this was a one off. When I passed his office I said hello etc and he blushed even more. I couldn't break the ice.This has continued for the past couple of weeks.He used to always say goodnight when he was leaving, but this has stopped. He avoids passing me in the corridor and when he does speak to me, he trips over his words and stammers.
I have to admit that I'm flattered by the fact he likes me, and I'm begining to think that I may like him too.
I really don't know why he's developed this crush on me. I've not said anything that would lead him on. I'm jovial but not outright flirty .
I just want to break this spell.

cumfy Thu 21-Mar-13 01:48:12


ChairmanWow Thu 21-Mar-13 04:27:50

I've just read this whole thread in one insomnia-busting sitting. Losing, if you haven't ripped his clothes off and shagged him to within an inch of his life by the month's end I'll be very cross!

Timetoask Thu 21-Mar-13 06:17:31

Oh my dear lord, I finally reached the end! 13 pages, felt like I was reading a little novel.
Op, I think the crush is being very sensible (what with all the sexual harassment cases, etc).
Good luck! I am really crossing my fingers for a little kiss or something!

Usingtheplot Thu 21-Mar-13 21:00:29

Ok well I'm afraid things have taken a turn for the worse here. For the last 3 days " Crush" has completely blanked me, I means acted like I don't exist.
I'm cross bcaue when he started crushing on me BIG TIME, I gave him space, because I'm a sensitive soul, And I didn't want to cause further embarrassment.
I bumbed into a neighbour of his, an old friend of mine, on his home patch. A walk I've been treading for the last 30 odd years. Was wondering if she's said something about it. I'm not in a good place.
I really think I need to put all my cards on the table and tell him straight. I need to darw a line under this.
I don't do complicated scenarios.
As my 12 year old sad. " Why does life have to be so complicated?"

Usingtheplot Thu 21-Mar-13 21:01:31

I need to spell check to, but am a total technophobe.

allaflutter Thu 21-Mar-13 21:45:34

<exasperated> OP, I don't get it, why can't you accept that nothing can happen until you leave your job, as it's too risky for him, so the blanking maybe an act?

And what happened to that lift and the party? did you go, did you flirt or talk there, or did you refused a lift and he sulked since? why can't you both be direct and agree that you will wait till you leave job, and then just go for a drink? it's SO easy!

allaflutter Thu 21-Mar-13 21:46:29

meaning, "did you refuse"

ChairmanWow Thu 21-Mar-13 22:01:25

Oh gawd I'm getting involved now.

Look, I agree with allaflutter, this needs to wait til you leave, which is only just over a week. Why don't you speak to him again tomorrow and say you'll miss working with him and does he fancy a drink when you leave? Set a date, meet him, have some drinks for Dutch courage and go for it.

Other than that are you having a leaving do? Make sure he's there and you end up chatting with him at the end of the night. Maybe suggest a nightcap after.

If he shows no interest in either and doesn't email you again there's your answer. But tell him there are a load of voyeuristic MNers wanting some hot action and we'll be tres cross if we're not rewarded for persevering!

claudedebussy Fri 22-Mar-13 07:13:31

see i wouldn't say anything anymore. just leave him to his frosty silences.

either he's ignoring you because he wants to keep his work life professional


he has actually got tired of the whole thing.

you'll know in a week's time. not that long to wait.

Puzzledparakeet Fri 22-Mar-13 22:07:02

It is FAR too long for me to wait, claude.

<drums fingers impatiently>

<hopes for happy ending>

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots Fri 22-Mar-13 23:07:58

Now look, I've had god knows how much snow today, more than 10 hours without electricty and didn't want to MN from my phone with limited battery and no means of charging it.
When I do get on here, see this on TIO, and still nothing has happened it makes me cross.
<is this the longest running thread ever about absolutely Nothing?>

AndTheBandPlayedOn Sat 23-Mar-13 03:52:15

I just read the whole thread in one sitting. This is a wonderful thread, with lol postings; sincere, yet not too serious/sad/upsetting as some threads regretably need be. And, as my dh says, it is a form of entertainment, (better than the reality tv he likes anyway; except I do like Bear Grylls wink).

OP, Emma, Franchesca, Usingtheplot...perhaps another name you could go by would be....wait for it....
Woody Allen? Hours of plotless, anticipation of a mere moment here-a glance there, a touch <gasp>, however ultimately left ...wanting? Sigh.

I hope your bad medical news isn't too bad and that you have a quick reacovery. (You only mentioned it once and didn't really even hint at what was wrong.) If you are healthy, consider checking out the C25K program (if you are not already a runner) and run a race, maybe have Mr. Crush train with you? At least it would offer some physical relief to this most severe case of Spring Fever.

Usingtheplot Sun 24-Mar-13 13:07:45

Sorry I havent posted for a few days.
I'm scared of saying too much for fear of being found out.
I have been unwell for a few days and am having tests done next week for ongoing health issues. I'ts been a very worrying time for me and I havent been able to talk about to anyone.
Got taken ill at work and it was awfull. I felt such an idiot, as I couldn't stand and crush saw me being carried to a colleagues car.
He showed a lot of concern and squeezed my hand but was so whoozy I couldn't even speak to him.
Saw doctor and they changed my meds and told me to get plenty of rest.
Back to work tommorrow.I'm really not worried about my crush anymore.
What will be will be. It's in the lap of the gods now.

chezziejo Sun 24-Mar-13 18:21:55

Hiya using. Do you mind me asking what the health probs are? Pm if you prefer. Of course tell me to sod off tho if you want grin

allaflutter Sun 24-Mar-13 20:22:00

it's your last week at this job, isn't it, OP? pretty sure he will contact you once you leave (or arrange to see you before you leave).
HOpe that new meds work well - when wil you know test results?

Usingtheplot Sun 24-Mar-13 21:08:32

The health problems have been going on for about 2 years/ Saw a new doc and he said he really wanted to get to the bottom of it. He really listened and said this should have been investigated a long time ago.
Re the crush. Well I thought about blurting out the whole thing,but it might be counter productive. I'm going to give him my card and then it's his call.
He likes me, of that I'm certain.But who knows what will happen?
If he's really interested he knows where to find me. No point in appearing desperate. He's an intelligant man.He must know I feel the same way.
Men are simple creatures.They don't do complicated. I'm going to turn on the charm ( shitting myself as I pretend to be super sexy/confident) but a bit of war paint and a smile might just do the job.

allaflutter Sun 24-Mar-13 21:35:16

OP, yes, thank God you aer about to leave the job and all will start happening between you - good idea regarding the card! I take it you never took that lift to the party he offered.
I don't think there is any need to appear super sexy or put a lot of warpaint wink - if he really likes you, he likes you as he's seen you so far, just be yourself, nothing wrong with being a little shy. Not too shy, but not too brazen either, iykwim.

allaflutter Sun 24-Mar-13 21:36:30

good news about the new doc, I also have a concern and so far have been dismissed really, they really do wait till you start collapsing to investigate! angry

Pendipidy Mon 25-Mar-13 19:32:23

Oh man, when is something going to happen!!

Usingtheplot Mon 25-Mar-13 21:46:51

Something has happened.
Got newfound confidence. He was alone in the canteen and I sensed he saw me looking at him. He was busy washing up his mug. I creeped up behind him and gave him a little tickle on the ribs.
He turned around and looked flustered. God knows why I did this but I pressed my finger on his lips and gave him a knowing smile. I manged to give him a kiss. I say kiss, not a full on "snog". He reciprocated and said a very breathy " That was nice" He din't make any further moves on me.
Oh boy am I made up.

Horsemad Mon 25-Mar-13 22:22:46


Fuckitthatlldo Mon 25-Mar-13 22:38:00

Oh this is funny as fuck.

"Something's happened!"

"Gasp. What?"

"A kiss. On. The. Lips."

God almighty I can't take it.

Fuckitthatlldo Mon 25-Mar-13 22:41:53

Tell you what, chuck him my way. I'll shag the poor bastard.


(You know I'm just kidding op. I'm a little bit in love with you and this thread. It's charming is what it is).

SisterMonicaJoan Mon 25-Mar-13 22:46:00

Oooooooo!!! I have been lurking and rooting for you and "crush"!!!

SneezingwakestheJesus Mon 25-Mar-13 23:42:57

Omg I was starting to think I was being a cow for not thinking this thread was real but that last update hmm "gave him a knowing look" "a very breathy 'that was nice'"??? I... just... no.

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