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Advice needed, someones got a crush on ME

(443 Posts)
Usingtheplot Sat 02-Feb-13 09:40:10

This is probably going to sound really silly, but I'm hoping that someone,somewhere can help me deal with this very awkward situation I find myself in.
I'm a 43 year old single mom and work part time doing an incredibly boring job. That said, my colleagues are great and that makes things a little less tedious.I'm a very chatty and fairly confident person and find it easy to initiate conversation with even the most reserved people.
I have not been in a relationship for many years. This has not bothered me the slightest bit. I've not even had a serious romantic interest in a man.Friend s gave up trying to "pair me off" a long time ago and accept that I'm happy being single.
OK, I'll cut to the chase. One of the men at work, a senior member of staff,is someone I greatly admire. I often used to have a natter with him and I enjoyed his company. He's very popular,what you'd call a thoroughly nice man.We have a bit in common,but I wouldn't go so far as to say we were friends.We just shared a few light hearted chats ,nothing more. I didn't find him attractive,although I suppose he is quite good looking.
Recently though I've begun to dread meeting him at work,not because I don't want to see him or anything, but because he's acting like a love sick teenager when I'm around.
I don't know when it all started,it really took me by surprise.One day we were having our usual chat/banter and the next day he couldn't look me in the eye and was blushing furiously. It didn't help that I started blushing with embarrasment too.
I carried on my duties and decided this was a one off. When I passed his office I said hello etc and he blushed even more. I couldn't break the ice.This has continued for the past couple of weeks.He used to always say goodnight when he was leaving, but this has stopped. He avoids passing me in the corridor and when he does speak to me, he trips over his words and stammers.
I have to admit that I'm flattered by the fact he likes me, and I'm begining to think that I may like him too.
I really don't know why he's developed this crush on me. I've not said anything that would lead him on. I'm jovial but not outright flirty .
I just want to break this spell.

kalidanger Tue 12-Mar-13 15:19:32

Only another 300 posts until they kiss churchhug sit next to each other! <sqee>

Usingtheplot Tue 12-Mar-13 21:30:45

Ok, so it's obvious we're both well up for it. But please, it's only been a few weeks, so let's keep it in perspective. We're adults, not kids and we have to know how the land lies. The atmosphere is electric and I think I have the strength to last out for a couple of weeks.
Good news,got a new job that fits in with the children( 2 of).Money aint all that great but hey ho, it's a job.
I'm no shrinking Violet,but this has all come as a very unexpected surprise. Just wasn't ready to feel this way. Wasn't looking, quite unprepared.I think it's the same for him. We don't spend a lot of time together in a claustrephobic office or anything like that.I reckon we just "sparked". I'm looking forward to getting to know him better, but I don't know where it will lead. If we don't hit it off, it isn't the end of the world because I have two lovely kids and some great friends. If We do work out, that'll be great.

kerstina Wed 13-Mar-13 10:39:11

Fantastic news OP ! Take no notice of the ones on here urging you to rush it. The build up is the best bit and I think you are more likely for it to last in the long term if you have this feeling in the beginning. You have to promise to keep on updating and give us a blow by blow account ! Please grin

BitOutOfPractice Wed 13-Mar-13 19:21:13

OOOOOO you wear glasses! Perfect! <imagines him whipping off your glasses and your tumbling locks cascading down and him saying "But Miss Plot, you're beautiful" the first time he sees you outside the office>

Usingtheplot Wed 13-Mar-13 20:12:17

Well I havent got cascading locks I'm afraid,just a simple bob,strawberry blonde( thank you l'Oreile).
He's welcome to whip off my bins and anything else for that matter!
Must remember not wear my waist high granny pants.

Usingtheplot Sat 16-Mar-13 08:52:06

Well it has been an odd sort of week.Lot's of activity at work but nothing much else on the "crush"situation.No more emails or anything ,in fact he hasn't mentioned sending them?
He's talking to me more now, but only if he's with a colleague and they address me too, sort of hanging on to their conversation.It's funny the way he always stands behind someone when he speaks to me, as if he thinks I'm going to jump on him or something.
My crush on him has definately waned. I still like him but it's srange how he looks so different now. I'm not talking about his clothes but physically he seems to have altered.He looks about 30 when in fact he's 48.
I don't know where to go from here.I'm thinking that he's had a change of heart or thinks he's been foolish.
I feel so sad that the flame seems to be going out and also that we no longer have our lovely chats.

kerstina Sat 16-Mar-13 11:51:54

Dont be daft it is better like that surely ? Get together when you leave. I think that is what he is hoping for? Did you accept his offer of a lift to the work do?
In what way does he look younger? Love is supposed to make you look better make you glow grin

LittleEdie Sat 16-Mar-13 12:20:51

Ooh, it's like 'The Enchanted Cottage'.

claudedebussy Sat 16-Mar-13 12:57:50

i think he's realised he was over-reacting and is trying to appear more normal while keeping safe by hiding behind someone.

also, i think your rose-tinted specs are slipping a bit and seeing him for who he really is now that there is a prospect that something might actually happen. is he really boyfriend material? or just a quick shag in the stationery cupboard?

Usingtheplot Sat 16-Mar-13 13:28:33

Well he looks like an overgrown school boy now.Perhaps his more relaxed and it shows on his face. He's not all that attractive when he's not smiling either,but when he does he is irresistable!
As for boyfriend material he most definately is.Don't think he's the sort who'd settle for a shag in the cupboard.
I'm not sure I'm going to the works do as I've had an epic row with my supervisor( who is going) and he wont be in the same building as me ( he does this sort of thing all the time and has been suspended in the past for his awful behaiviour)But I'm going to suggest meeting up for drinks afterwards.I
know it sounds like I'm cutting my nose of to spite my face but he is likely to kick off and that would be horrible for eveyone.
I need to give him a gentle nudge to show I'm still keen.I might give him a little wink. I should have acted sooner.Still I've a couple more weeks to try to turn up the heat.

WinterMymble Sat 16-Mar-13 16:08:57

He is just trying to avoid more office gossip surely, since office idiots leapt on that last time. Doesn't mean he isn't interested! Definitely should be easier when you have departed from the sounds of things.

TooYappy Mon 18-Mar-13 13:19:30


I have nothing to say really but don't want this fall off my threads I'm on for some strange reason.

I still maintain you don't/wont fancy him

<kill joy>

Itwasallfornothing Mon 18-Mar-13 19:35:27

Holy macaroni, I can't believe we're 13 pages in and still not so much as a kiss! I've been watching this thread for a few weeks and I'm astounded that nothing has gone beyond a couple of flirtatious looks in the office! It seems like you're both waiting for the other to make the first move and by the looks of it, neither of you are going to! If one of you doesn't take the bull by the horns then surely this is all going to fizzle out. I hope not ... Take a chance OP, let your inner Bridget Jones take the lead - snare your Mark Darcy then we can all carry on with the rest of our lives, buy a hat, drink copious amounts of champagne at your wedding (I assume we will all be invited ... ) and everyone can live happily ever after. Please let this be a happy ending ...

Usingtheplot Tue 19-Mar-13 12:23:46

I've often thought of asking this man if I knew him from school. I immediately thought I might have gone to school with him, but as he's 5 years older and from another city, that could not have been the case.
I was drawn to him instantly, but not romantically in any sense of the word. I liked everything about him. I could be myself with him and we really hit it off. He's very different to me in terms of personality, I'm more flighty and he's organised and controlled.
When we had " the talk" I was confused at how cold /indifferent he was toward me.He said he didn't have a clue what I was talking about.Even before the big crush he was warm hearted.
I'm sure my body language/behaiviour etc, has confused him too.
I find that when I'm in his company I have to put up this great high wall to distance myself from him emotionally. I tell myself he's not good looking ,I'm too unsophisticated etc.
When I'm being the person behind the wall I see him as someone else, I am not attraced to him, but it feels very artificial.
I don't think it's possible for us to communicate on the same level we had before we had a crush.
If I let down my defences I'm open and vulnerable and start to feel the sparks between us.There has been times when I literally rooted on the spot and I feel that if we were alone something would happen, in fact I'm sure of it.
He says in his email that he has a soft spot for me. I'd say that was underplaying it by a mile.We don't have any middle ground anymore. We are either like a pair of robots or can't take our eyes of each other.
I'm going to tell him how I really feel. I'm not going to beat about the bush.I want to feel that if nothing is going to happen that at least I can move forward.
Sorry for my ramblings.

TooYappy Tue 19-Mar-13 13:13:16

No ramble away.



PipsWife Tue 19-Mar-13 14:47:40

Wow! I've just read the whole thread!
Using - please make sure you keep us updated. When is the work do?
Have you decided to go or not yet?

Usingtheplot Tue 19-Mar-13 14:56:03

I'm going!!! wouldn't miss it for the world.He's just left the office, flutter, flutter

Still no action? grin

BestestBrownies Tue 19-Mar-13 15:18:54

Ouch! My sides hurt! Has this thread been commissioned by Channel 5 yet?

And Kalidanger, your churchhug comment. Just..... inspired.

Using - he'd better be an epic shag after all this pointless dillydallying breathless anticipation wink grin

NinaNannar Tue 19-Mar-13 17:12:31

While entertaining a man would read this thread and say "if he fancied you he would just make a move. "

They don't do endless analysis.

TooYappy Tue 19-Mar-13 17:57:56

'we are like a pair of robots we cannot take our eyes off each other'

tis luffly

PipsWife Wed 20-Mar-13 21:49:59

We need an update using!!

<something missing in my life maybe!?>

claudedebussy Wed 20-Mar-13 22:16:22

yes! I've been waiting for an update too...

PromChickWithin Wed 20-Mar-13 22:31:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PipsWife Wed 20-Mar-13 22:52:23

Our own live soap opera.

Maybe they are still making out in the office?

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