Married to DH 5 yrs, together for 6. 2 DC together, 1 DS from prev. rel. Rocky relationship all through the 6 yrs together. Have nearly parted on several occassions & had 3 lots of couples counselling which have helped in someways but not lastingly.
Argue all the time, generally over the same things. Totally opposed parenting styles, what being a family means, relationships with parents, work, money you name it. Some arguments have been going on for the full 6 yrs with no satisfactory conclusion or compromise ever reached. Both been treated for depression, him for anger management & me for self esteem issues. Not in any therapy at the mo. We both tend to say the same things about each other, we feel under valued and unsupported by our partner. Have read several self help books and partic. those related to EA and can see many of the traits in DH but also some in me too. I have a strong "sense" of equality which for me manifests as because DH works v hard as main breadwinner I am happy to take on all the household stuff & childcare etc. (I do work two days a week) but feel that this shouldn't mean he gets to squander whatever money he has left each month on shit just for himself. He feels that he should be left to spend it how he pleases. (Our financial situation not great, this is just one of many issues we have). For him he feels that everyone elses feeling & opinions count except his. However, I feel that me & all the kids (partic DS1) are always walking on eggshells so as not to rock the boat. The list is endless!!
Anyway, he has had a relatively major, but not lifethreatening, health scare (treatment is ongoing) and now says he will not longer put up with anymore crap from me, my family (mother - whole other story) or DS1 as life is too short. So I need to change my attitude, stop treating him like shit or he will go and find someone who does want him. Really, really confused about our future together or if we even have one???
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Confused - I am the abuser or the abused?
44 replies
TooMuchJD · 02/02/2013 00:33
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.