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tomorrow I hand over my children to the OW for the first time

(1000 Posts)
chocoreturns Sat 26-Jan-13 22:44:42

I don't know what else to say, just need a hand hold tonight.

OW and STBXH are now house hunting 15 mins from my house, and spending EOW with my baby and DS. They have been lying about her being there right up until today. I finally reached the end of my tether, while listening to DS1 tell me all about house hunting with OW all day, having been told he was with only his dad and granny.

So I called STBXH and told him I'm over it, it's time to stop pretending I'm an ogre who can't bear to meet her, and to bring her to handover. If she's going to be on my doorstep and having my children in her home, I need to know who she is. She took my baby DS2 swimming with his dad today - it was his first swim. I am far beyond anger now and I'm just sad about it all sad

Not sure what to say to her, but I would like to take her to one side when STBXH is putting the kids in the car, and say look - I know you and I aren't going to be friends, but my children are my priority, and I need to know they are safe and happy when they're not with me. If you ever don't know what to do, or you're on your own with them and you think they need me, please know that it's ok to call me and I'll be fine with you. Then give her my number.

Is that mad? Or sensible and mature?

This is a moment I need a mumsnet straw poll sad

BerylStreep Sun 10-Feb-13 00:27:11

Crikey Bamboozled, that sounds bad. Hope you are ok. x

chocoreturns Sun 10-Feb-13 10:41:07

bamboozled it's not a hijack - I think this thread has moved into new (dating!) territory anyway - I'm so sorry to hear about your worrying report, I hope that both the pain and the results improve drastically ASAP. We're all worried about you and I'm sure everyone else will want an update as things move along so please let us know how you are? <proffers hug and a brew> have you managed to put on your own knickers yet this weekend? wink

Chip is turning into the strong and silent type... still no reply. I'm fine though, I've got a huge meeting for work on Tuesday to find out if I'm going to land a contract that would take me through the whole year financially, so actually, I need the babysitting just to get myself organised for that! Blessing in disguise?

And I have a date on Weds to look forwards to anyway, so I can let my hair down regardless of what happens on Tues re: work. Phil McCavity <fnar> text to say he's excited and nervous about meeting me, which is rather sweet! Onwards and upwards. Allalonenow any tips on wooing a facial surgeon? Or just a warning to stay clear given that yours is a STBX!

Happy Sunday to you all grin

bamboozled Sun 10-Feb-13 12:14:44

Choco - your post just shows what a lovely person you are!
Thank you smile and I have worked out how to get my knickers on by myself now! X.

SauvignonBlanche Sun 10-Feb-13 12:21:54

Good luck for Wednesday! thanks

porridgeLover Sun 10-Feb-13 12:29:14

I haven't logged on for a while.

Choco I am greeeeeeenn for you; not one but two men! Richly deserved, hope you have a lovely time, drilling, boring holes, measuring lengths, assessing sizes, (this could go on for ages, no?)

Bamboozled, I feel I can address you now that you are dressed hmm grin
Hope you have good news soon.

Midwife99 Sun 10-Feb-13 12:46:02

Phil McCavity - snort!! Chippy is a fool - missing out on the chance to measure you up Choco! It obviously wasn't meant to be I suppose! But I know the right guy will come along when it's right!
Meanwhile Bamboozled - you poor thing - I'm experiencing only a minuscule amount of the pain you must be in today (plantar fasciitis + arthritic knee has thrown my pelvis off so I'm all wonky & ouchy) I hope you get some effective treatment soon!!

Allalonenow Sun 10-Feb-13 15:23:39

choco very best of luck with your business meeting on Tuesday.
Your dentist date sounds nice from his text, and you sound clever, funny and caring, so just be yourself, you will knock him for six!

Skyebluesapphire Sun 10-Feb-13 18:45:15

Yes, good luck for the business meeting. Hope it goes really well. I'm glad that the dentist got back in touch, he is obviously interested. As for Mr Chips, well, he can go whistle.

The only interest I seem to be getting from online dating at the moment is from men in Wales who are looking for fun. Have they finally run out of sheep over there? grin

Allalonenow Sun 10-Feb-13 19:05:49

The problem with Welsh sheep is that at this time of the year they are all pregnant and don't want to play!

trustissues75 Sun 10-Feb-13 21:14:41

Still plenty of sheep in Wales - I'll check and see when I go home next week. As far as I know very few of them actually get shagged though..though I'd certainly steer clear of the valley blokes!

Choco - good luck on your date on Wednesday! Being happy and healthy is the BEST way to stick it to the Ex twunt!

chocoreturns Sun 10-Feb-13 22:02:56

thanks guys! I'm home alone (properly alone - no kids!!) and am missing my babies LOTS as they are staying over with my mum. My first child free night in 18 months isn't exactly as I expected it to be, and I have to be honest I'd much prefer to be wrapped up in bed with Chip right now so I'm a bit fed up that I am in fact, whiling away my evening watching the Bafta's and worrying about how much my baby is missing me and how my mum is coping with them both. I'm not texting the no-show despite ridiculously itchy texting fingers

Please remind me that it's a good thing I'm home alone!!

Humph. Bloody, bloody men.

bamboozled Sun 10-Feb-13 22:03:37

Choco, hope you got lots done tonight for your big meeting on Tues, so you can then celebrate in Wednesday with Phil the Drill..
Skye, which website are you trying - not my single woolly friend I hope - (they were ALL sheep shaggers as far as I could see)

chocoreturns Sun 10-Feb-13 22:06:08

I've got precisely nothing done... I'm bloody knackered and can't think about what I need to do!!!


bamboozled Sun 10-Feb-13 22:14:13

Oh bollocks - Can I pour you one wine ?

Skyebluesapphire Sun 10-Feb-13 22:17:50

choco - at least you have had a night off. i know you miss your kids, but it is nice to have the occasional break. It is a shame that you didn't spend it with the carpenter though. WTF is wrong with these men, when they arrange dates, then disappear from sight?!

bamboozled - hope you are not feeling too bad with your back. this website was Single With Kids... I have just ended paid membership, so its a bit pointless now, as you can't see who views you or read messages or anything! And most of the men who have contacted me have been 65 (I'm 40), or they come from Barry or Bridgend?! Which is miles from me.

chocoreturns Sun 10-Feb-13 22:20:34

thanks Skye I hope you find some gorgeous bit of stuff to distract you soon too! And when you do, that they hang around long enough for you to enjoy yourself smile

bamboozled cheers, I think I should probably just jack it in and get an early night!! Make the most of the opportunity to sleep.

bamboozled Sun 10-Feb-13 22:25:51

Skye, try guardian soulmates or daily telegraph dating? Depending which way you swing in the political wind - seemed to be a more interesting mix of people, wanting to do fun things, rather than just talk about their divorces and exes.... Not that I did much of that [w

bamboozled Sun 10-Feb-13 22:27:44

wink.. Back is same old - but more people to see tmrw so hopefully some answers and Dr B has calmed down a bit, so a bit less scary!
Sleep well Choco!

bamboozled Sun 10-Feb-13 22:30:08

Choco, just saw we xposted, you must have thought I was batty saying good luck with your work as you had posted your eve wasn't going as you had hoped - sorry!

Thumbwitch Mon 11-Feb-13 00:21:23

oh bamboozled, that sounds nasty - hope it isn't the worst case scenario but something much simpler to deal with x

Choco - woohoo for Phil the Drill! And boo to silly artisans who cba to reply to texts. He's "had his chips" wink now, I reckon!

Massive amounts of luck for the Tuesday meeting - sounds really good.

chocoreturns Mon 11-Feb-13 22:10:23

right! off to bed now before tomorrow is upon me...

Chip is dead in the water. Looking forwards to meeting Dr Phil!

Bamboozled how are you doing m'love? thinking of you x

bamboozled Mon 11-Feb-13 23:26:56

Thank you, was just logging on to say good luck for tomorrow - hope it goes brilliantly!
Spent most of the day with various drs... Bit traumatised as the specialist gave me two HUGE hydrocortisone injections into my spine... [shiver] But v good news as the big cheese is sure its soft tissue trauma and the lump and the cyst on my spine on the MRI are not to worry about! Thanks so much for thinking of me. I am SO relieved - had imagined all sorts of terrible scenarios! Lots more drugs to reduce swelling, dampen nerve endings etc and there will eventually be a happy ending!
Knock 'em dead tmrw! x

blackcurrants Tue 12-Feb-13 00:10:13

Bamboozled I haven't been able to post much but have been reading on my phone while bfing all night every bloody night for a week and I am SO pleased for you that things are looking, well, not 'good' so much as 'not as bad as they could be' - what a relief! Have got fingers crossed for you that any treatments are not too painful and involve dishy doctors. grin

Choco, thinking of you, too, love. Hope your meeting goes well and the dentist is well fit!

Mind in the gutter tonight. No idea why! smile

tadjennyp Tue 12-Feb-13 06:06:44

Thank goodness bamboozled.
Hope the baby gives you some sleep soon blackcurrants.
Fingers crossed that Phil the Drill reaches hidden depths choco wink

AgathaF Tue 12-Feb-13 07:00:25

bamboozled that sounds like good news smile

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