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Majorly low right now

(18 Posts)
daisydee43 Thu 24-Jan-13 22:23:16

Dh and I have not been speaking for few nights and although this has happened before albeit rarely, I'm sick of the childish strops. I love him so much and although I've always known his high maintainance, I'm beginning to wonder if he's this right one for me (cries as writes). He's going through a mid life crisis atm so is changing daily and it makes me upset when he calls me boring. He has a very limited relationship with our dd and in fact that is why we fell out because I did not pack certain things in the bag when he was looking after her when I go out. I go to college 1 eve and driving 1 eve and feel stressed and guilty for doing so. I'm really struggling with college as am so tired or worry how he will cope with her and he's fast becoming like a weekend dad who just takes her swimming or shopping etc. I'm so depressed right now coping with motherhood and the changes to my life that my only salvation is when I go to work 22hrs week and that's hardly a salvation as there's a load of pig headed males there too. I hated my maternity leave as dh nags me when I'm not at work and gives me a chore list that I must complete and he forced me to start an online business which took up all the time I should have been spending with dd and it made no money. I still hate my days off as I get comments like 'you've been off all day why haven't you done this'. I don't feel particularly confident in myself and feel I'm not being a good wife as other people seem more organised and have a lot more common sense. I am quite lazy although I'm always on the go and feel constantly lathargic. Have got low thyroid but am taking medicine but right now I'm in a bad place with little light - how can I get out of this hole?

Darkesteyes Thu 24-Jan-13 22:36:31

That isnt high maintenence Op. That is abuse. What was his reason for bullying you into starting a business? i have a nasty feeling he just wants someone who he can feel superior to.

izzyizin Thu 24-Jan-13 22:37:08

How do you 'get out of this hole'? Stop him blocking it and you'll be able to climb out in no time.

Darkesteyes Thu 24-Jan-13 22:38:13

izzy has a fab analogy as usual x

daisydee43 Thu 24-Jan-13 22:40:02

Well I came up with the initial idea but tbh I didn't really want to go through with it and he ended up checking on my progress and acting like my boss. I'd much rather had spent the time getting to know more new mums and bonding with dd which I feel like I haven't enough

daisydee43 Thu 24-Jan-13 22:47:50

It would be interesting to know how others spend there says off with dc

izzyizin Thu 24-Jan-13 22:50:15

Has it occurred to you that once you've ditched this millstone round your neck, you'll be free to have fun with your dd and live life the way it should be lived - with gusto?

daisydee43 Thu 24-Jan-13 22:51:45

It sure feels like that sometimes

SirBoobAlot Thu 24-Jan-13 23:02:06

How do you get out of this hole? You get as far away from him, as soon as you can. He sounds vile.

daisydee43 Fri 25-Jan-13 10:18:44

I really want to make it work tho, he has bipolar which doesn't help. I need to stand up for myself more?

AlienReflux Fri 25-Jan-13 10:20:49

How old is your DD?

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 25-Jan-13 11:42:12

You're a normal working mum and you sound, to me at least, that you're ticking all the boxes, doing your best & muddling through same as we all do. The only reason you feel depressed and stressed is because you've got this nasty person peering over your shoulder saying you're doing that all wrong!

I'm a single parent, have always worked FT and on my days off when DS was small we would do anything at all from sweet FA and a day in front of CBeebies to redecorating the hall. All depends on what I felt like doing at the time.

No-one has the right to give you a list of chores, make you start a business, critique your efforts, call you boring or all the rest. He does not have a mid-life crisis, he is a bully. And the reason you are so down, lethargic and lacking in confidence is because living with a bully is very bad for your physical and mental health. I would suggest seeing your GP but I think the real problem you've got is him. Lose him and you'd realise that there is nothing wrong with you whatosever.

daisydee43 Fri 25-Jan-13 11:44:39

Alien - she is 10mths

dequoisagitil Fri 25-Jan-13 11:55:49

I think he should be a weekend dad instead of just pretending he is.

BiscuitMillionaire Fri 25-Jan-13 11:59:41

He gives you a chore list that you must complete?? He's a controlling bully.

mcmooncup Fri 25-Jan-13 12:19:50

Deary me OP, what a dreadful way to live.
It's 2013, you don't need to live like that.

What stops you leaving/ what is keeping you there?

ThePinkOcelot Fri 25-Jan-13 12:37:17

You should be going out meeting other mums and bonding with your DD! No one dies from a bit of dust! If my DH left me a list I would tell him to wipe his arse with it after his next bowel movement!
I work 18.75 hours a week. I'm at home today, and am sat on here! I have done a few bits and bobs around the house, but not much! Why should I?
Tell him to go do one OP! x

AlienReflux Mon 28-Jan-13 09:26:41

How's it going daisy?

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