Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Red flag or grossly insensitive or what!!!

(215 Posts)
Flabber Thu 24-Jan-13 16:34:33

Just spent the night with new man, first night, this morning he said you know you are pretty now but you would be amazing if you lost some weight?

I was dumbstruck, he then said so you gonna lose some weight then

I'm a 14

Very upset I will be honest

Herrena Thu 24-Jan-13 17:49:35

' your comments about my size were rude do not contact me again'

YY to this!

ErikNorseman Thu 24-Jan-13 17:50:31

It's fine to dump someone via text if you haven't been together long. Especially this guy. Dick.

lalalonglegs Thu 24-Jan-13 17:50:59

Do you think he was deliberately (albeit subtly) trying to get you to dump him? It seems a strange thing to say after you've spent the night for the first time.

Flabber Thu 24-Jan-13 17:52:09

only a few weeks, wondered why he was single actually, late 40's, he said a few relationships but mainly a couple of months long. Which in hindsight is also a red flag combined with above.

I was away for work last week, he phoned the hotel and got put through to my
room, I didn't answer as assumed it was housekeeping or something, then I got a text saying where are you Ive just phoned your room and you are not there.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 24-Jan-13 17:52:55

I don't think there was anything subtle going on here. He was starting as he meant to continue.... keep the girlfriend a little insecure about her appearance and she'll be grateful you pay her attention.

nospace Thu 24-Jan-13 17:53:11

How long have you known him? Can you not find any other instances since you met him when he said something you didn't like/had an attitude that rang alarm bells or did something?

Some people are blunt and don't always think before they open their mouths. At the start of your relationship he hurt you and it made you cry. Strange how he didn't say this before he slept with you. Makes you sound like a piece of equipment.

Flabber Thu 24-Jan-13 17:53:27

No strangely enough I don't think he was trying to get me to dump him, hes trying to book a weekend away at the moment for us, which is why he is texting, he thinks there is nothing wrong at all

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 24-Jan-13 17:53:55

"Ive just phoned your room and you are not there."

Bit creepy isn't he....?

mammadiggingdeep Thu 24-Jan-13 17:54:24

Man alive.........DUMP him. What a total fuckwit!!!!

Do it by text- usually I'd say it's bad form but I think in this case manners and etiquette goes out the window!!!

Absolutely shocking- sorry you had the misfortune to come across such an arse!!! Onwards and upwards op!!

arthriticfingers Thu 24-Jan-13 17:54:31

Amazing what damage abusive men can do in only a few weeks.
Well spotted! Give yourself a round of applause and dump soonest.

ErikNorseman Thu 24-Jan-13 17:54:33


lalalonglegs Thu 24-Jan-13 17:55:37

Hmm, the phoning is definitely a red flag. In that case, dump him.

fiventhree Thu 24-Jan-13 17:55:39

Do NOT meet him to dump him- he has said that because he is scarily controlling and thinks he can talk you out of it with ease. Given you havnt told him to fuck off, he may have a point.

Really nasty man , surely you see that?

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 24-Jan-13 17:55:47

You really have to dump this man in words of one syllable. The type that doesn't think they've done anything wrong and stalks you to your hotel room is the type that is not going to take no for an answer unless you are very, very clear about it. No way back.

akaemmafrost Thu 24-Jan-13 17:55:52

What A Twat!

I would never have addressed another word to him. Clothes on, stuff got together and out.

TheCrackFox Thu 24-Jan-13 17:56:08

It is bad form to dump a nice person by text but you can dump a wanker any way you want. I wouldn't even text back, just ignore all forms of communication from him and eventually he will get the message.

mammadiggingdeep Thu 24-Jan-13 17:58:17

Just read the bit about phoning your room.....totally creepy!!!!!! Run!!!!!! My dp wouldn't even send me a text like that....and wouldn't ring my room either actually. That was like he was trying to catch you out?! Weirdo alert!!!

FlatsInDagenham Thu 24-Jan-13 17:58:18

Dump. What a prick.

How fucking dare he make you feel anything less than amazing?

It's a long time since I was as slim as you OP. My DH wouldn't dream of speaking to me that way, despite me being a size 10 when we first met.

nospace Thu 24-Jan-13 17:58:32

It doesn't matter if he can see he's done nothing wrong and he's booking a weekend away, has he not already shown you how he is and thinks.

Flabber Thu 24-Jan-13 17:58:46

Cogito, how did your friend dump her boyfriend?

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 24-Jan-13 17:59:53

This was in the days pre-text.. (I am vair old...) I think she just called him and said it was over.

TalkativeJim Thu 24-Jan-13 18:00:08

Oh no with a twat like this it's extremely good form.

'Sorry couldn't get back to you earlier. Think I'm going to have to pass on you sorry. Sex wasn't great and your comments on weight etc. made it clear that you'd be too much of an arrogant prick to even train up - way too much hassle. Bye.'

akaemmafrost Thu 24-Jan-13 18:01:04

Yes dump him by Text

"Fuck Off" should do it. Send me his number and I will do it if you don't want to!

nospace Thu 24-Jan-13 18:01:38

If you went on a weekend with him, he'd be asking you why you're eating things that may be fattening........

mammadiggingdeep Thu 24-Jan-13 18:01:43

Erik- DTMFA??? I think I've got that but can u

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now