This may be long, sorry, and I can't be bothered to name change so if it outs me in RL so be it.
My eldest sister is deaf (is relevant) and lives independently in an old people's bungalow, they let her have it early due to her difficulties. She has always been very single minded and quite cold and selfish. She would strip our elderly mother of all her money and assets given the chance and doesn't seem to feel any kind of shame or embarrassment. She can also fly into very violent rages, this broke up her marriage. We seem to lurch from one drama to another with her and her behaviour can be appalling but the latest is quite worrying:
She has a number of those plastic storage boxes/lockable sheds in her garden and a few weeks before Xmas one fell over and broke the neighbours fence, all her neighbours are elderly. The neighbour has been more than reasonable and has said she would get the fence replaced but has asked my sister for a nominal amount to replace the single panel, which my sister initially agree to. Now she has decided that she won't pay and basically expects someone else to, in the past this would have been our late DF. She doesn't have money issues so paying isn't the problem. My other sister, who lives nearer, has been the interpreter/go-between and has tried to explain she must pay as the neighbour is quite within her rights to sue. She doesn't believe that this will happen as she thinks that being deaf somehow excuses her. This is a constant theme. She has also been throwing rubbish into the woman's garden and, quite rightly, the neighbour called the police. The neighbour has pictures of my sister doing it. When the police arrived she flew into a rage and the officer showed her his handcuffs as he thought it would calm her down. She just laughed in his face, not believing she could be arrested. There has now been another incident and the police have been called tonight. I am trying to find out the details. If we challenge her on her behaviour she refuses to listen or attempts to become violent, apart from with me (I had to restrain her once when she attacked our DF so she knows her threats won't work). I have texted her to tell her that she could lose her home as the police are involved and the neighbours can complain to the housing association but she just ignores it. She goes round all her friends complaining and seeking validation until she finds someone who agrees with her, this is then enough to convince her she is in the right, she truly believes her disability protects her from any kind of consequences. I guess what I am worried about is that if she gets evicted she will end up back with my DM, which will kill my DM.
I am not unsympathetic to her needs, I have an autistic DS. The reason I have mentioned her disability is that she believes it absolves her from any consequences and in the past this has been true as my DF used to drop everything and run. Can anyone suggest anything we can do to or any kind of intervention please? She has support workers but they keep leaving due to her aggression. My BIL will pay for the fence but that is not really the issue.
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Relationships
No idea how to handle my sister
whatkungfuthat · 21/01/2013 21:51
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