Any advice please - too scared to resume sex life

[Jemster]

Hi there
This is my first post on this board. I had my second child 9 months ago and I still haven't had sex with dh.
The main reason is that I am so scared of falling pregnant by accident. I have to take medication for a chronic condition and this would damage a baby and so I would have to have a termination. With my dd I stopped all meds six months before ttc as we planned to have her.
I used to take the pill and use condoms and felt ok with this but I really don't want to take the pill again as I have to take so many other drugs already. My GP has suggested the coil but I just hate the thought of that although I'm thinking perhaps I should just try it and see.

My dh is waiting for a vasectomy but even then I don't know if I'll be relaxed as I've heard they don't always work!

I love my dh and want to have sex again but I feel like it's all down to me to take contraception, and I just hate the thought of putting more crap into my body. Also we are both always so tired it's not as if we'd do it that much anyway.

I would be grateful for any advice as my dh is patient but must be getting so fed up and I've started to have dreams about him going off with other women. Thanks in advance.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Talk to your husband. This is such a personal matter that it is unfair to leave him out of the discussion. Go through your fears and concerns together as a team. Research the pros and cons of various contraception together... see doctors together and get proper information about things like the coil and vasectomies. Above all, reassure each other of your love and find other ways to show affection, even if they don't involve actual penetrative sex.