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Relationships

Any hope?

16 replies

glitch · 19/01/2013 11:15

I feel useless. I feel unloved. I feel lonely.
I separated amicably from my H last year. I had a brief thing with an old flame which ended in disaster. I want someone to share my life with but I think perhaps I'm just not great at relationships. The only time I have felt really loved was by my ex but that probably wasn't ever meant to be as I didn't really feel the same way back (the spark just wasn't there) and then we went off the rails.
I'm 40 and feel a bit doomed as far as relationships go. Is there hope at all?

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Corygal · 19/01/2013 11:17

Oh yes. Hope aplenty. You're just down at the mo. Sign up to online dating and see if you get any nice approaches - very cheering.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 19/01/2013 11:36

"Where there's life there's hope"

In the meantime... LIVE!!! Live your life as a gloriously independent woman!!! Build your confidence. Impress yourself. Shake things up and make your life interesting. Widen your social circle. Do things you always promised yourself you'd do but never got around to it. When you realise that you don't actually need a partner to make you feel worthwhile and when you realise you actually quite enjoy your own company and rather love the person you've become... that's when some idiot bloke will come along to ruin everything. :)

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glitch · 19/01/2013 11:43

Thank you.
I am having a down day today. I'm usually pretty optimistic about things but just a tough day.
I do just need reminding that I am OK by myself, I do like my own company and I am trying to get out and do things. A kick up the bum to stop moping I guess. Feel free to kick me Smile

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 19/01/2013 11:46

..... ..... ........

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glitch · 19/01/2013 11:49

youch!!!!
Thank you for making me laugh. Just what I needed. I am just being a mopey arse today. Grin

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 19/01/2013 12:18

Join the club! I'm freezing cold and stuck in the house a bit bored while DS and his mate have commandeered the TV for the X-Box and prepare for a sleepover later. (Why do I agree to these things?) Been single for 18 years and counting. Plenty of men have come and gone but there's never one around when you need bringing a slice of toast and a hot choc is there? :)

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izzyizin · 19/01/2013 14:36

Jeez, I know the feeling. I want a hunk man who'll live in the utility room, come out with the Dyson, and get fsucking whenever it suits me Smile

A good pal jetted off to NZ a couple of days ago under orders to bring me back a Maori man who has thighs like tree trunks carpentry/roofing/plumbing skills and is generally good with his hands. What's the betting I get another sodding a Jo Malone candle on her return? Hmm

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Anniegetyourgun · 19/01/2013 14:54

XH used to bring me toast and hot choc. He also arranged an extra telly in the bedroom so the boys could have a free run at the one in the lounge. He's available now if you'd like me to PM you his number, Cogito. You'll have to fight Izzy for him though, as he did all the plumbing, most of the roofing and a fair bit of carpentry when we built the former marital home. However, if you want my opinion, you'd be better off with the candle.

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glitch · 19/01/2013 20:58

Wow, Cogito, 18 years is hardcore. Feeling a bit pathetic for moaning after 6 months.
Izzy I want one of those too (the man rather than the candle). Can I join in the fight for Annies XH? Do you think he would be prepared to battle it out with the candle whilst doing all the jobs in my house? Kind of a win-win even if the candle wins.

It isn't really that I want a man yet, just feeling like I have been disaster area where relationships are concerned and maybe I am just not very good at them. Do they get any better / easier with age?

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izzyizin · 19/01/2013 21:48

O gosh, yes. Relationships with the opposite sex get infinitely better with age as you come into full understanding of the fundamental fact that you don't need them Grin

Oddly enough the happier you become in your own skin, the more contented you become with your own company, the more you begin to love yourself, the more males of the species appear out of the blue determined to change your single state to a life of drudgery

I can't be arsed to take part in any contest for a mere man would be more than happy to participte in a man-share Annie. If it's convenient for Cog, one day a week would suit me.

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Anniegetyourgun · 19/01/2013 22:46

Erm, before I go and fix you up as a foursome with the ex, can I just check, do you have any problem with any of the following:

a) Smoking (although apparently he's given up again, again, again)
b) War films
c) War documentaries
d) War books
e) Racism
f) Dirty socks
g) Bin bags in the lounge
h) Mould in the kitchen
i) Emotional abuse

If you ticked two or more of the above, he might not be the man for you after all.

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izzyizin · 19/01/2013 23:00


Mmm, I find I will be otherwise engaged on the proposed one day per week I set aside for man-sharing and will thankfully reluctantly have to rescind my offer to take him off your hands utilise his services, Annie.
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glitch · 19/01/2013 23:12

Ahhh, perhaps I might go and look in the yellow pages for a handy man instead then.

I am ending the day with a far more optimistic outlook than I started it with so thank you and I am looking forward to a very hopeful day tomorrow.

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Anniegetyourgun · 19/01/2013 23:38

Lightweights!

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Anniegetyourgun · 19/01/2013 23:39

Good luck, glitch .

Remember the last line of Sweet Charity? "And she lived hopefully ever after."

Have a Thanks

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glitch · 20/01/2013 08:40

Oh I can't remember the last time someone gave me flowers, I might cry (in a good way Smile ). Thanks Annie.
Might have those words blown up and stuck on my wall. Aside from yesterday I usually am a grinning optimistic hopeful freak.

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