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Quick Q ... is this appropriate?

(63 Posts)
SoupOfTheNight Sat 19-Jan-13 10:16:31

DH takes kids to school.

Makes coversation with a mum there.

Adds her on facebook.

Talks to her all times of night.

Never mentions her to me, I have no idea who she is.

Massive long, personal conversations and talk of the snowball fight they all had.

DH moans to her about his legs aching after work out, she says Ask '(DW - me)' to rub them for you. (with daft embarresed face after)

I go to bed last night, hes drinking, sends message to her at 11:30pm to start up conversation.

This is all through private messages, not on wall.


Whippoorwhill Sat 19-Jan-13 10:17:48

Nope. Sorry.

TrippleBerryFairy Sat 19-Jan-13 10:18:40


elizadofuckall Sat 19-Jan-13 10:18:51

Nope! And i would be telling him so right now!!!

LIZS Sat 19-Jan-13 10:18:51

er no

SoupOfTheNight Sat 19-Jan-13 10:19:20

He says it is,

am going to show him reactions on here.

AngryTrees Sat 19-Jan-13 10:19:48

No. Not at all. I would say it's the beginning of something, they seem to be getting closer and sneaking off to have exciting chats at night in secret. Definitely something that needs discussing.

TrippleBerryFairy Sat 19-Jan-13 10:20:51

Is he generally a bit immature and disrespectul to you? Is he SAHD?

thixotropic Sat 19-Jan-13 10:21:07


elizadofuckall Sat 19-Jan-13 10:21:23

Really Mr Soupofthenight?

So then you will be okay with Mrs Soupofthenight doing the same with one of the dads from school?

Get a grip man..what are you? 12?

SoupOfTheNight Sat 19-Jan-13 10:22:09

He said he would be fine with it.

MrsBucketxx Sat 19-Jan-13 10:22:52

If he is not hiding it or being sneeky no.

Dh has a female freind who texts at odd times, but I know its ok nothing to worry about. We have met etc.

Looks like he is being sneeky though.

elizadofuckall Sat 19-Jan-13 10:23:15 you go then love...sounds like he is giving you the nod to 'do your own thing'...So go test the theory smile

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 19-Jan-13 10:25:54

It's not appropriate at all... he's making a complete fool of himself. How many male friends does he text last thing at night after you're in bed?

StuffezLaBouche Sat 19-Jan-13 10:26:13

No, it's not ok...not sure many people would be comfortable with this actually hmm

Anniegetyourgun Sat 19-Jan-13 10:26:26

He says it's appropriate, he says he would be fine with it... well he would, wouldn't he?

eliza , I like both your name and your style.

MarilynValentine Sat 19-Jan-13 10:26:27

Not appropriate. I'm sure he knows that really. He's just got into a flirtation and he likes it and wants to protect his 'right' to have it.

Disrespectful of him to think nothing of how it's making you feel.

EvenBetter Sat 19-Jan-13 10:28:46

I'd find an emotional affair inappropriate and grounds for him to move in with one of his mates for a wee while to mature a bit and consider his marriage vows. Long, personal conversations with another woman is disrespectful to you and not a great sign for the marriage or his opinion of his wife IMO. If he finds nothing wrong with it he's telling you he will continue and probably won't even bother hiding it.

Sugarice Sat 19-Jan-13 10:29:06

It is completely inappropriate!

I would be livid if dh did this, you need to rein this in.

tribpot Sat 19-Jan-13 10:32:17

But as you would never mention this school dad you were chatting to, how would he know to be fine with it?

I have a massive long chat convos with some of my (male) friends - partly that's just maths, most of my close friends are male because I work in a very male industry. My DH doesn't know all of them personally, he's heard all their names mentioned and the conversations are not typically personal - chit chat, work chat, gossip, how do you do [x] in a computer game our dc are both playing. When I do do 'personal' chat it tends to be because the other party is having a relationship problem - I do tell DH about these.

If he does all the school runs logically he will develop a network of friends and contacts as a result - that's how it goes. Some will be closer than others, ditto. But is his network really made up of one person?

chubbymomie2012 Sat 19-Jan-13 10:33:21

Really not appropriate and maybe I'm a massive cynic but if this is what u know about what is he hiding. I'd be annoyed he's making a fool of me in front of other parents ESP I they see this blossoming friendship. Lastly. I'd be mighty pissed at this doll who he's messaging she is as much to blame, unless he's stalking her and she is trying to politely put him off. Hmm either way not appropriate.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 19-Jan-13 10:37:17

I bet all the other people at the school gates are laughing at you behind your back. "Poor old SoupOfTheNight being married to a lecherous old tomcat like that... "

elizadofuckall Sat 19-Jan-13 10:38:49

Also, what could possibly be the context of the 'embarrassed face' after saying get your DW to massage your legs?

That doesnt make sense in the context of a friendship..if i were suggesting my friend get a leg rub from her DH i wouldnt add an embarrassed face!

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 19-Jan-13 10:42:29

I know the context... The 'friend', realising he's stepping over the mark with the 'will you rub my legs' (oo-eerrr missus!!) comment is saying 'you have a DW for that ...' I also have a (mildly lecherous) old friend who occasionally texts something that's a bit risque and that's the kind of thing I like to remind him.

elizadofuckall Sat 19-Jan-13 10:43:44

Exactly cogito.

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