Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

what to make of this text on DH's phone?

(140 Posts)
grants1000 Fri 18-Jan-13 20:39:55

Together 23 years, married 12, never a hint of DH having an affair, in fact his Dad had several affairs and he has always been repulsed by them.

He got a new iphone and I was fiddling with it while he was in the shower midweek, was being nosey as I don't have an iphone. I found this text from 'Emma' saying

"Yes, Tuesday night would be great, after work and don't ply meet with drinks this time as I have an early start! smily face icon'

He was going to London, staying with his sister as he often for work. I saw the texts to his sister confirming he was staying there eg: her texts to him and vice versa.

So I asked him what he was doing after his meetings on Tues, was he having dinner with his sister and he said no he was meeting 'Dave & John' (people I know).

Anyway he did not stay in London Tues in the end as he had to be back here for a meeting. I checked his phone and the Emma text has been deleted and I don't know how to look for deleted texts on an iphone, so I did not see any reply to her text.

I have been though his Linked In profile and cannot see any 'Emma' and been though his phone and I know 95% of those on it and those who are work realted. I called this 'Emma' and it went to voicemail with no idication of who she is or where she works.

What the fuck is this?

brainonastick Fri 18-Jan-13 20:41:17

If it looks like a fish, and smells like a fish...


MILdesperandum Fri 18-Jan-13 20:42:48

don't know but the fact that he's never mentioned her if he's seen her before plus deleted the message doesn't sound good does it sad

Porkster Fri 18-Jan-13 20:43:19

Sorry to say - I'd be highly suspicious.

MikeOxardInTheSnow Fri 18-Jan-13 20:43:55

Ask him.

MamaGeekChic Fri 18-Jan-13 20:44:11

looks like the kind of thing I may send a work friend (male or female) if meeting them for drinks... kisses/winks would make it slightly more concerning.

Middy86 Fri 18-Jan-13 20:44:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MamaGeekChic Fri 18-Jan-13 20:45:15

just noticed that it was deleted- more suspicious now!

MILdesperandum Fri 18-Jan-13 20:45:16

clutching at straws but could it just be an overly flirtatious work aquaintance maybe someone on here knows how to look at phone history?

Flojobunny Fri 18-Jan-13 20:46:32

If it looks like a rat and smells like a rat...

TippiShagpile Fri 18-Jan-13 20:47:45

Sounds like the start of an affair ime

grants1000 Fri 18-Jan-13 20:49:20

I know it's bad, he is out tonight (I know where he is as I dropped him off, his friend just got divorced and he is out with him and a few other boys, I saw them in the pub).

My question is, shall I text him now and ask him about it? I say this as I don't want face to face confrontation (esp in from the the children) and he can't drive home as he will be over the limit right now and is staying the night. I just want to know, one way or the other.

Good idea or shit idea?

grants1000 Fri 18-Jan-13 20:50:22

There are only 3 blokes in his business, so no women colleagues to flirt with.

If my heart is about to be broken I want to know now and not let him see my reaction.

MILdesperandum Fri 18-Jan-13 20:51:56

Personally I don't think you can do this by text, but not actually got a clue how to handle it sorry sad

grants1000 Fri 18-Jan-13 20:52:13

Am sitting here drining to numb myself and I hope you are all being honest not MN judgey judgey iykwim - so fucking floored by this can't think straight

MikeOxardInTheSnow Fri 18-Jan-13 20:53:08

Shit idea. Its easy to lie by text. Anyway you need to have a proper conversation about this. He owes you an explantion, if nothing else, at least for lying and saying he was going out with the two blokes when you knoe he was planning to go out with Emma.

MILdesperandum Fri 18-Jan-13 20:54:07

I think I would try to get more evidence if available incase he denies it; can you access the records of who he has phoned?

TippiShagpile Fri 18-Jan-13 20:54:08

No. Don't text him tonight. Leave it until tomorrow.
I so hope I'm wrong. It might just be the start of something and a quick chat with him will nip it in the bud. That's my experience and it all worked out ok.
Good luck. smile

grants1000 Fri 18-Jan-13 20:54:57

But if I text he will know that I know, even if he does come back with some shite

sasamaxx Fri 18-Jan-13 20:55:45

oh no you must be sick with worry sad I don't know what to.suggest I really don't.
I couldn't wait either - think I would have to text him

grants1000 Fri 18-Jan-13 20:56:45

It was a brand new phone he's only had 4 days, so no history, his Blackberry has gone to one of those phones for cash things and SIM cards are different for both

PaperLantern Fri 18-Jan-13 20:57:16

If your can find has a contact history or activity log It will show when messages have been sent and received even if It doesn't show the contents

spatchcock Fri 18-Jan-13 20:57:40

Don't text him. Wait till tomorrow when you're both sober. Ask him face to face, without any preamble, to gauge his reaction.

I'm not surprised you're unable to think straight. I'd be exactly the same. Put down the bottle and head to bed early.

AppearingDignified Fri 18-Jan-13 20:58:17

Would a strategy of "I met a man last week who i really fancied and he asked me to meet him for a drink and I'm tempted" work. See what that discussion starts? Or you could just LTB.

birdofthenorth Fri 18-Jan-13 20:58:47

If it were me I'd want to see his reaction to the question for myself, so if it's massive panic you know something is up. Texting really leaves him off the hook and gives him total freedom to bullshit.

Hope it's nothing and innocent. The lying abut his plans and the deletion are a bit shifty, though.

Sorry hmm

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: