A few of my friends have recently started to comment that my DH is a control freak. To be honest I have thought this in the past but never realised how much it has started to affect me. I need to know if I am over reacting or being unreasonable to my DH.
History. Married for 11 years 1 DC. Examples of past possible controlling behaviour are.. 5 years ago (pre DC) both of us were keen on the same sporting hobby and I entered an endurance event which was a really big deal to me. I really enjoyed it and wanted to do another the following year. DH was not happy for me to do so but he entered the event himself for the following year. I pointed out that we could do it together but he was adamant that I wasn't going to do it. Anyway I was a bit cross but thought never mind. Anyway he went on to have an EA that year which was awful, we nearly split up. Went to Relate and things got better, we had our DC 2 years later. Following Relate and through my pregnancy and Mat leave he was fine but when it came to me returning to work he started to revert to his old self ie He said I needed to work really unsociable hours 2pm -1am to reduce the need for childcare (family member) not surprisingly I was exhausted especially as DC was a very poor sleeper. I eventually persuaded him that I needed to change jobs as I was literally on my knees.
Anyway I know I am rambling so will get to the point. A year ago I started to learn a new sporting hobby and got a coach once a fortnight. It turns out that I am pretty good at this hobby but DH doesnt like it at all. He doesn't want to hear anything about it, he doesn't like my coach (never met him and won't even though I have encouraged him to). He says that it costs too much £60 per month but he easily spends this on himself ie holidays with his friends. I don't have any other hobbies or outgoings and the time that my hobby takes up is done during the following times twice while DD is in preschool, 1 1/2 hours at the weekend and 1hour during a weekday evening.
I know this sounds like an argument over something trivial but I feel like I am not allowed to do anything that he disapproves of. Normally he just gets his own way as I can't bear the arguments but this is something that is important to me.
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Relationships
Am I being unreasonable?
Lahti · 18/01/2013 14:09
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