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Is this a normal way to speak for some men/ people ?

(112 Posts)
Domesticsloven Thu 17-Jan-13 23:27:18

Ds asked for a drink from dh tonight he is 10 . He does get his own drinks too. Dh said " get your own you little git " (shock) he was " joking" and meant he could get his own, apparently

This is a professional man , why would he use a word like that to a child? It has really shocked me.

However I am quite genteel so AIBU ? (but to you nice reasonable relationships peeps)

FantasticDay Fri 18-Jan-13 00:23:07

How did he say it? Was it in a jokey way - in which case I wouldn't be bothered. Or a nasty way? I don't think it's the words somuch as the intent behind them. Do your dh and ds have a good relationship generally?

Domesticsloven Fri 18-Jan-13 00:27:32

Little fool was in anger
Little git I never heard anyone say before we don' t swear etc its odd .

He is from a family where his father was in charge but mother stronger character than me . Different from my family , his father kicked the dog when it had been naughty .

I am uneasy about it and the way he doesn't to like doing anything girl orientated like joining choir or gymnastics or similar.. But he shouldn't ' t say it out loud to ds even if he thinks it .

It's mild but I don't like it. It was not said joking or nicely don't know if that was by mistake. Bottom line is I don,t like his approach but we are all different and I can't control it.

He is trying to man him up yes

Spero Fri 18-Jan-13 00:28:16

o dear. i had better report myself to the local child protection team pronto as I have been subjecting my daughter to vile verbal abuse for many years now.

I honestly don't think the word 'git' if said in a light jokey tone is anything to worry about at all. But as others have said, if it is 'spat out' in a horrible tone, that is different. But anything said in a horrible tone to a child is nasty.

you really need to be clear how it was said.

MurderOfGoths Fri 18-Jan-13 00:28:35

In my family "git" was always used affectionately blush

Mind you, so was "bugger".

Christ, my parents sound really rough now don't they?! Honestly they were/are so well spoken and polite! Totally not potty mouthed nasties at all! Mum used to tell me off if I said "damn".

Spero Fri 18-Jan-13 00:29:47

Murder, same here. I am actually really surprised to hear that some people think 'git' is a swear word!

MurderOfGoths Fri 18-Jan-13 00:30:44

X-post, if he wasn't being jokey/affectionate then obviously that isn't right.

MurderOfGoths Fri 18-Jan-13 00:31:40

Spero blush Most of my friend's families use it affectionately too! Has no one else ever seen the "Old Git" type presents?

Domesticsloven Fri 18-Jan-13 00:32:27

Old git is ok

Pan Fri 18-Jan-13 00:34:06

dreadfully ageist, but that seems to be okay generally. Never understood why.

AngelWreakinHavoc Fri 18-Jan-13 00:34:44

I am uneasy about it and the way he doesn't to like doing anything girl orientated like joining choir or gymnastics or similar..

do you mean your dh?

I could never imagine my oh doing gymnastics or joining the choir confused

Pan Fri 18-Jan-13 00:36:26

trying to 'man him up'? By choice of diction like that.

I can understand your frustration.

McBalls Fri 18-Jan-13 00:37:09

I find threads like this odd.

As though the OP is asking about the behaviour of someone they vaguely know in passing.

Surely you must know whether his use of that word, what it says about him, whether it was barbed or playful or whatever based on your 10+ year knowledge of his character?

Domesticsloven Fri 18-Jan-13 00:37:30

Doesn't like ds to do anything more girl orientated and not rugby like I mean but often says " It's for girls"

MurderOfGoths Fri 18-Jan-13 00:38:09

Calling him "git" in combination with the "it's for girls" comments would have me hitting the roof! That's not on at all.

McBalls Fri 18-Jan-13 00:38:37

Well no, that's unfair - maybe you are pretty sure it was aggressive and unkind but he has you doubting your own judgement?

Domesticsloven Fri 18-Jan-13 00:39:51

Yes it's odd I agree because I don't really understand his behaviour.

LesBOFerables Fri 18-Jan-13 00:40:13

Yes, McBalls- we are not talking about a Martian being studied by an anthropologist; it is the OP's husband. Surely you know his character and sense of humour, Domesticsloven? Do you really need us to decipher it?

AnyFucker Fri 18-Jan-13 00:43:14

You are sounding like a surrendered wife, OP.

You absolutely do have input into how your son is treated.

AnyFucker Fri 18-Jan-13 00:43:42

....or should do

Domesticsloven Fri 18-Jan-13 00:43:59

I don't really understand . Thats the trouble. Why he has such an agenda . I think there is underlying problem but it can t be changed .

LesBOFerables Fri 18-Jan-13 00:44:01

Personally, I would find it colloquial rather than coarse, but I'm surprised you are perplexed at the distinction after several years of being together. This is the sort of thing that you work out whether you share an approach on while dating, I would have thought.

Domesticsloven Fri 18-Jan-13 00:48:09

I can be confident but not as much as him, he is a bit overbearing in his views.

It is disappointing to have to oppose things all the time for my sons benefit and not be listened to or taken on board properly.

Domesticsloven Fri 18-Jan-13 00:48:48


Domesticsloven Fri 18-Jan-13 00:49:50

We are together from very young from when students .

ZooAnimals Fri 18-Jan-13 01:36:41

old git is ok, but lazy git is child abuse?!

Good grief. It's quite a fine line isn't it?

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