I split up with Ex over two years ago - we were together for around a year. So we've been apart longer than together and it wasn't a very significant relationship in the long run. He was very odd - he lied about how old he was (told me he was five years older than me, turned out to be ten), very manipulative, emotionally abusive. He had strange attitudes to women - he was a policeman and watched lots of porn but wouldn't have sex with me because he couldn't get aroused by someone he cared about, he'd seen lots of terrible things via work and felt like he was doing something abusive. Except he was fine to watch porn, and have sex with me in the very early days, just not when he started to care about me as a person. This freaked me out. There were lots of other things too. I feel I had a very lucky escape. But when we split, he threatened to kill himself.
He's recently started texting me. I told him I didn't want him to contact me around a year ago. He took no notice and continued to send birthday/Christmas texts. I ignored these. Today he messaged me to say that he has moved house 'in case I'm interested'. I am not interested. Also, the house he has moved from, he bought in very strange circumstances where he decided we were moving in together without actually mentioning it to me. Then when I said what, no, I'm moving away to do my postgraduate degree and why on earth did you think we were moving in together?? he was furious, said I'd been leading him on, he couldn't afford the mortgage, he only chose that house because I'd like it, etc.
Anyway, I'm torn between ignoring his latest text or replying along the lines of "I have made the choice not to have you in my life; you do not have the right to override that by continuing to text me. I have asked you once before not to contact me, this is the last time I am going to ask you. If you continue to message me I will change my number and report you for harassment."
I'm worried that if I say that, he'll threaten to kill himself again. I don't want to tell him I have a new DP (with whom I'm very happy) because I don't trust him not to try to contact him. But by ignoring him I feel like I'm not objecting to his messages and they won't stop. What would you do?
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Relationships
Ex won't leave me alone
18 replies
ComeAlongPond · 17/01/2013 15:40
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