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He's shown a selfish side or AIBU?

(14 Posts)
BumHair Wed 16-Jan-13 15:25:08

Ever since DP and I have been together I have willingly gone to any show/gig/movie etc he's wanted to see. He likes some really obscure shit so sometimes I've had to stand there for over 2 hours grinning and barely baring it. I've also travelled miles, even offered to drive to various cities across the north of England so he can see these bands/shows and have a drink.

I've asked him to come and see ONE gig with me. a HUGE, well known band which to be fair, almost anyone into rock music would have been happy to go and see even if it wasn't their taste entirely.

Anyway, he agreed and said he'd loved it. Since then I've seen loads more stuff that he's wanted to see.

Now, this weekend we're thinking of things to do and I know of a bar not too far away (£7 in taxi at most, closer than most of the stuff he takes me to) that I'd like to go due to the DJ and music style. He refused at first and said I should go with my friends, said it wasn't "his thing", more or less took the piss out of it and then rolled his eyes whenever I mentioned it.

He's now reluctantly agreed to come with me but he really doesn't want to and is making it obvious. Fair enough if it really isn't his thing but I've gone of my way to see stuff with him that hasn't been to my taste!

I think it's a bit selfish of him really!

susanann Wed 16-Jan-13 15:27:58

Yes its very selfish! I hope he doesnt ruin it for you. Maybe in future you should go to gigs with your friends and him go with his. Of course that may mean he will loose his chauffeur, shame that!

FestiveWench Wed 16-Jan-13 15:30:22

Go with your friends.

And stop wasting your time going to shite that you hate.

pictish Wed 16-Jan-13 15:31:56

What Festive said.
If you waste hours seeing shit you don't want to see that's t=your problem. I'm sure he doesn't force you to go.

Numberlock Wed 16-Jan-13 15:34:04

One word - why? You sound desperate.

NatashaBee Wed 16-Jan-13 15:35:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker Wed 16-Jan-13 15:36:53

Stop trying to turn yourself into someone he would be pleased with and please yourself

It's in the Top Ten of Don't Take Shit From Men.

whatatwat Wed 16-Jan-13 16:27:26

does he force you to go?
cause unless he does, you going is your choice, you could easily say no.
why go willingly then moan about it?

Lueji Wed 16-Jan-13 16:40:42

more or less took the piss out of it and then rolled his eyes whenever I mentioned it

I'd be more worried about this than him not wanting to go.

metimeatlast Wed 16-Jan-13 20:19:13

i think going somewhere with a partner for the odd occasion that isnt "our thing" is ok, but to do it on a regular basis?? nah, im sorry but thats what mates are for, fwit it doenst seem that you doing any of what he wants is winning you any brownie points, but im sure if you dont then there will be the tide of "i never see you, your always off doing your own thing" from either you or PD.

BadLad Thu 17-Jan-13 05:08:03

He's doing what you should have done ages ago - telling you to go on your own to something he isn't interested in.

Now all you have to do is say the same thing next time there is something he wants to do, instead of "grinning and bearing it", and the two of you can stop wasting so much time seeing things you don't want to.

Meanwhile, just say something along the lines of "Fine, I'll go with a couple of friends, now stop taking the piss out of it".

Everyone's a winner.

HotDAMNlifeisgood Thu 17-Jan-13 07:19:42

He's not being selfish, he's doing what you should also be doing: declining nights out that don't interest him.

Do tell him to stop taking the piss about your tastes, though: that's not on.

tallwivglasses Thu 17-Jan-13 07:27:41

I'd love to hear the rest of Anyfucker's Top Ten Dont Take Shit From Men grin

scaevola Thu 17-Jan-13 07:35:27

Does he know you don't much like going to his preferred stuff? For if you've done a thorough job in going willingly, he may not have a clue that he 'owes' you, and may think you can both be honest about suggestions and attendances.

Have you talked to him about this?

I suggest you stop martyring yourself at events you don't like. Swop a few of them for ones you do.

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