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I think I'm emotionally abusive

(11 Posts)
SpeckledJim Fri 11-Jan-13 16:57:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 11-Jan-13 17:11:32

If you're not happy with your partner you're entitled to say so. You're allowed to have opinions. You're allowed to be angry. But you don't get anywhere walking off hurling insults or sulking in bedrooms and sending nasty texts... if anything that makes you look rather childish. In turn, he's not going to get anywhere agreeing to do something and then changing his mind and doing something entirely different. That's not a mature way to go about things either and it would make a lot of people very frustrated.

You'd probably benefit from some couples counselling to improve how you handle communication. You need some skills to curb your temper but he also needs to learn to follow through on a promise. Otherwise you'll just keep banging heads.

SpeckledJim Fri 11-Jan-13 17:26:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 11-Jan-13 17:36:51

Do you behave this way with other people in your family, at work or socially? Or is it just your partner that gets this treatment? i.e. Do you have a problem with anger generally or do you simply get angry with him? Following on from that.... in previous relationships did disagreements play out along the same lines or were you able to resolve them maturely?

VoiceofUnreason Fri 11-Jan-13 17:43:15

I agree some form of counselling is in order. Have to say, OP, if a partner kept treating me like that, I'd be insisting on that behaviour being curtailed or I'd be leaving.

Anniegetyourgun Fri 11-Jan-13 17:48:28

While you're organising counselling, which sounds like a jolly good idea, Beverley Engels' The Emotionally Abusive Relationship is a useful read.

SpeckledJim Fri 11-Jan-13 17:53:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

badinage Fri 11-Jan-13 17:56:40

Unless this is a problem that has blighted lots of relationships, I think deep down you thinks he's a walkover with people and so you don't respect him. So you behave appallingly to see how far you can push him before he'll stand up for himself.

It could be that he is a bit if a wuss with conflict and difficult conversations.

And it could be that you're someone who needs conflict, rows and making up to make you feel safe.

Counselling sounds like a good idea.

SpeckledJim Fri 11-Jan-13 17:57:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

badinage Fri 11-Jan-13 18:21:00

Why don't you have friends?

SpeckledJim Fri 11-Jan-13 18:30:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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