I am in my late 30's and single (divorced). Recently though work I met a man who seemed really nice. We flirted a bit and last weekend he asked me out for a drink. It went really well, nice snog! and we arranged to meet for dinner this week
At dinner he told me that basically he used to be a woman. He has had testosterone treatment for many years and both breasts removed and a hysterectomy. But not the surgery that makes a penis...
I really like him. But I'm a bit freaked out. I guess that's why he told me 'early' in our dating... I dont want any more children s thats not an issue... its the whole man thing - he looks like a man, acts like a man and I would never have guessed that biologically he is not a male...
I've had lots of disappointing PIV sex and much better non-PIV sex (all hetero though) so I don't think that would bother me so much.
I would like to think it wouldn't bother me at all, because in all honesty (and I know how shallow this makes me sound!) it would be other people's opinions and views that would bother me more than the actual physicalities.
That said, having never been in that situation I just don't know!
I would say, if you like him then go for it. If it works out, then brilliant, if it doesn't, then it's surely just a failed relationship for whatever reason than failed because he used to be a she?
I have name changed. Some people know me in RL . so to protect my privacy (and his if it goes further) It felt best.
I do very much admire his honesty and I think he is very brave to bring it up, just like that, over dinner ! I get the feeling that he is very much at ease with himself after many years of difficulty. He certainly seems very, mature and sensible.
I'm quite ashamed to say that if you had asked me, I would have said I couldn't do this. But I am thinking about it. Because I like him, and I did find him really attractive. But I don't want to start something I deep down feel uncomfortable with - because potentially I could hurt him - and he's been up front with me, I would like to be honest too.
No, gender isn't binary. This is a fact, not a politically correct opinion. People are born intersex and hermaphrodite - not many, but enough for it to be simply incorrect to insist that gender is binary.