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I think i know what i have to do

(34 Posts)
muffins Wed 09-Jan-13 18:40:54

Feel a bit pathetic really as posted on here about a year ago asking for advice about DP who has a history of sexting etc blah blah blah. Not sure if he has met up with anyone in person but a couple of months back I found out he'd been on msn chatting to some woman in a village near us....

So things had been ok ish (I'd forgiven him for like 10th time, literally, his last chance etc) And today I found he's been messaging some woman he knows who lives in Cyprus about a visit back to UK she has planned soon. She said she'd let him know exact dates and he said ' I can't wait to be f**king you long and hard'. 'I bet you can't ;-)' was her reply. I need to kick him out don't I? I think I just need to hear someone else say it (again).

The only reason I haven't is I didn't think I could manage financially but the plum lost his job so that's irrelevant now. Have done my sums and think I should get tax credits for nursery costs.

Wish I could link previous threads to give a bit more of the story, will try in a min.

I really don't know how to start the conversation....i told him I'd seen these messages and he has yet to even say anything about it, not even his usual pathetic apology!

maras2 Wed 09-Jan-13 22:16:12

Glad you've binned him Muffins.Did he lose his job for being a sex pest by any chance?Best wishes for the future without this sexually incontinent dirty pig.

duke Wed 09-Jan-13 23:38:09

Keep strong, you know you are doing the right thing. You could be in the sane position in 10 years time thinking I wish I left him years ago.

muffins Thu 10-Jan-13 03:37:36

azira yes tell him tomorrow, sad to hear he didn't bother coming to your scan sad

Well I did have issues with him texting/maybe more, women from work (see previous thread) but I think he actually lost his job through general incompetence (not really qualified/experienced for it). I think, well, I know he lied to me about the exact circumstances.

He is still here tonight, taking him to his mums in morning, mainly as she has DD currently 2 days a week so I need to speak to her to see if this can continue for near future before he has a chance to feed her a load of crap. It's going to mean dropping DD off and picking up around work adding a couple of hours but can have an extra day at nursery from mid April so just need to see it as a short term ball ache. Going to try and drop a day at work as well, currently on two weeks annual leave and had been starting to get chest pains before break, I think stress related to working 5/6 days a week trying to make up money as only my salary. I think a 4 day week will be my limit if doing everything else on my own as well.

So much to sort out!

AlienananaReflux Thu 10-Jan-13 04:18:00

Yes, there's a lot to sort, but you will be sorting out a stable future for You and your dc. You've done brilliantly, keep strong.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 10-Jan-13 08:04:08

If you split from him, you're probably going to have to drop granny from the picture. MILs - even the nice ones - will invariably side with their DSs however badly behaved they have been.

delilahlilah Thu 10-Jan-13 09:40:09

Well done OP, life becomes less stressful with one less idiot in it. Just wanted to say that dropping a day sounds sensible as long as your boss will let you. Also,hopefully you will be surprised how little an impact it will have on your wage as it will reduce your tax and NI contribution and a day less travel costs etc. If you're concerned about your budget etc, there are some very helpful boards on the Money Saving Expert site.

delilahlilah Thu 10-Jan-13 09:40:59

ps if he's not working, why can't he have your DD for the 2 days a week if MIL says no?

RudolphiaRedNose Thu 10-Jan-13 09:49:22

I don't think that's always true cogito - I have seen some situations on MN where the MIL is very sympathetic and carries on the relationship with her GDC. Fingers crossed OP. Don't change your mind!

ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath Thu 10-Jan-13 10:31:17

I agree Rudolph, my MIL is fantastic and very understanding. We talk on the phone and she's always saying that she'll do anything to help me as well as ds. You just don't know until it happens muffins. You have made the right decision!

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