Long story...XH last year had breakdown/drinking/self harm, then left had a brief affair now living alone and unhappy. Me trying to hold together after 17 years of marriage this is really out of character but hoping he'd get help, blah, blah, need my head examined!
Had a lovely xmas which we shared and he was very happy and flirty and gave me the come on which I refused and said if he ment it see how things go. A few days later he goes stone cold and says that I've manipulated him.
Last night I text to say he's been cruel and that we need to formalise access more for DC.
Midnight I get a text with the bridge that he nearly 'jumped off'. I stopped myself returning text. Feel that Im responsible for this, hand needs holding!
It sounds like you did everything right! You were very sensible not to get involved again. You were certainly not manipulative. Sending you a picture of a bridge he "nearly jumped off" on the other hand IS.
Even if he had, it would still be his responsibility and his choice.
You can and probably should report to the authorities that he is claims to be suicidal.
I was on the phone to ex, the very day I left, for 30 min with him claiming to going to kill himself. Eventually I turned off the phone and walked away to be with DS, who was actually the person who needed me.
Ex needed something else.
What kind of picture was it, btw? Top to bottom? Or off the web?
And quite frankly the temptation to tell these twats to do it is imense.
Holding your hand very tight. If you needed a reminder of WHY you are not together this is it. What sort of role model does he think he is for your DC. Don't waste a moment feeling responsible. From where I am looking you are the only person bringing sanity into the lives of those who need you most, your DC.
Read a few other threads here os women who have dumped abusive exPs - most of them seem to threaten suicide at some stage, it's in The Script. And guess what? None of them seem to have managed it so far - they must all be a pretty incompetent bunch lol.
" Feel that Im responsible for this, hand needs holding!"
You're not responsible for any of his behaviour. Not for the drinking, the self harm, the breakdown, the affair or the fact that he has now decided he's sad and lonely. I think, however, you need to set the boundaries a lot clearer in future because he obviously regarded your shared Christmas, not as an act of kindness, but as a sign that you wanted to get back together. You can't afford - however accidentally - to give a man as unstable as this false hopes.
Thanks everyone, you are a sensible lot! i felt guilty because I flirted back (i know...still cant quite believe its over after 17 years) He is a changed man and I must look at him in the now, not the past. I might just push him myself next time, as there is bound to be...he says he will get help...wont hold my breath.
I think the mental health issues has kept me. But I need to move on.