You may remember my recent thread about my DH and his female friend and the silver pendant, which went back to the shop. Sadly, and I'm not sure how, things have gone rapidly and horribly downhill and though we tried a few counselling sessions, DH has announced that, according to him, there is not enough left between us to save the marriage. We are living in some sort of horrible limbo, he says he is not seeing anyone else just that, after 4 marriages, he thinks he should be alone. We have a 5 year old daughter, and I have 3 older children from my first marriage, who love him.
Though he won't admit it, I think he is having a delayed stress reaction from 3 awful years of running our own business, plus a recent operation and bereavement. The issues re Caroline seem to have diminished though I suspect she may be in the background. Mostly, I think he just wants to stop the world and get off for a while. He says I tried to control him in the summer when I was worried about Caroline but agrees I don't do that now.
He says he is going nowhere at the moment, he hasn't been doing much freelance work recently so we are under each others feet all the time. I suspect he was hoping to go to his brother's locally but his brother has made it clear he doesn't want him there.
I am hoping if I can just keep everything calm, get him back to work on monday the reality of giving up his entire life will come into focus. I think he is severely depressed but he won't have that, as he is a mental health professional. He has promised me he will go to his GP but has cancelled the appointment. The strain is awful, I have lots of support but at home he virtually ignores me and won't touch me at all. I am heartbroken and terrified.
I can't believe he is planning to leave his child as she is his only one and he adores her.
Any advice?
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Silver heart pendant (name change)
186 replies
Totallydistraught · 04/01/2013 21:48
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