Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
Izzyizin,Lueji, Blackcurrants and all DV posters are you there?(175 Posts)
(old thread springaroundthecorner/Domestic violence, done the right thing now what?)
Sorry I know there are many others who have posted great support but have just choosen names that I have seen on the board recently.
Really asking for support. I went to the "appeal" today and it turns out to be full fucking new crown court trial. I was in Witness box for 2 hours plus 1 hour lunch break. I was called a liar about 50 times and I am in total shock.
It is not even over. It will continue tomorrow but I am done (In every sense.) It was so bad that the Witness Support lady said she would be reporting it to her manager and had never seen the like of it in a DV case before. I am not sure I should even be talking about it seeing as it is not over but as not giving details hope it is ok.
The court clerk type person - I know he wasnt and not sure of his title but he sat in and had a clip board and seemed to know a lot about procedure said that the barrister was v senior and that the judge was not stopping him because he would be afraid of procedural complaints.
He said that was actually a good thing as he would have brought it to a swift end for my sake should he feel he was going to have to overturn the original verdict. The CPS barrister was lovely and very kind. He said I had done well. My friend who came said that too but it didnt feel like I had. I got quite angry but they said I came across as decent and honest. I am actually embarassed as when the judge said we were stopping for lunch I said to him I cant do any more and he ignored me of course. He was kind at the end and I said thank you when he said I could go.
Sorry this is not very well written but worn out.
Thanks AF and OFT. I now feel better enough that I am going to go to bed. I didnt think sleep would come tonight. Luckily doing a late shift tomorrow so have the morning to compose myself.
"The fact is he can afford it so he is doing it ie paying someone else to abuse my whilst he sits and listens."
That really is the pits. For all those people pocketing that money, I hope they never sleep at night.
You sound like you did GREAT.
You also sound like you would be a great help for other women going through this. All power
Spring - he may be able to 'afford' it but he's not above the law. Sleep as well as you can. x
Spring, well done for coming through such a terrible experience with such strength, determination and dignity.
You might want to get in touch with Rights of Women - they would also be interested to hear about your experience.
Second the suggestion to also contact Bridget Philipson MP. Even if she can't do an awful lot for you, it's good for an MP with her interest to hear first-hand accounts of how women are treated by the courts.
I would also write to your local MP.
It's a bloody outrage how women are treated in the courts, whether in relation to violence or abuse or child contact.
This is a really good report by Rights of Women if you are interested in this subject - makes your heart bleed. And your blood boil.
In case anyone doesn't see the point such a body, I should have added when an All-Party Committee makes recommendations, they tend to be listened to and acted upon with more alacrity than most.
A minimum of 20 MPs are required before an all-party committee (of which there are many covering a wide-ranging number of subjects) can be formed and each brings their views/opinions based on their own observations/experience together with those of their constituents to the table.
Making an all-party committee aware of anomalies/deficiencies/inadequacies in, for example, the law or service provision by a government organisation, can be more effective than writing solely to, again for example, the Home Office.
For this reason, I would suggest anyone seeking to make a complaint against a government agency or wishing to suggest ways of improviing any aspect of the agency's service, should ascertain whether there is a relevant All-Party committee and, if so, copy all correspondence to that body as well as to their constituency MP.
I am so happy to see people with relevant knowledge on your thread springy
You take this as far as you feel able to x
Do you realise that was really, really, really brave? To feel that much fear and emotional exhaustion but still to do what had to be done. That is the very definition of courage.
I agree Annie. No PTSD this time springy. Just feel proud of yourself.
I'm so sorry to read what a dreadful experience you have had to go through today, your courage must have lit up that court room like a beacon.
I hope you get some some rest tonight, and that you can find some solace in knowing that you did the right thing, even though it was at such great emotional cost to you.
Sending you all my best wishes.
I refer to this update from you on your previous thread 'Just to let you know that I have had some really good professional advice recently and it has helped enormously. I've been told that most Appeals of this type that succeed because the witnesses fail to turn up because no one has informed them that the Appeal is taking place and they find out afterwards',
From the above, and with particular reference to Appeals succeeding because original witnesses fail to appear, I erroneously assumed you had been made aware that an Appeal against a verdict handed down in the Magistrates Court can effectively take the form of a retrial in the Crown Court, albeit without a jury.
Needless to say, I'm appalled that you duly arrived at Court yesterday to discover what Witness Support, the CPS, and/or the police should have told you weeks/months ago, namely, that you would be required to give evidence again.
It would seem, from what you've said, that you came through with flying colours and, irrespective of the outcome, you have every reason to be immensely proud of yourself, honey.
Thanks to the twunt's
ability to fund hefty legal costs machinations, you've endured TWO trials of ordeal in the Criminal Courts and you can rest content that, throughout, your courage has been unflinching.
Without having been present (not that attendance in itself is any guarantee of accuracy) it's not possible to predict the outcome of his Appeal. However, if a Judge is of similar opinion to that of the Magistrates, it is within his/her remit to increase the sentence that was handed down by the lesser Court if s/he sees fit.
If he loses his
gamble Appeal, he may find he incurs a more fitting harsher sentence than that peviously meted out to him and I've certainly got my extremities crossed that justice in this matter is finally seen to be done.
With this in mind, I would urge you to endeavour to make contact with the CPS barrister before the Court reconvenes this morning and ask that, if the Magistrates verdict is upheld, application is made for a non-molestation Order
to protect you from the twunt's inevitable ire as per previous assurances you were given.
Please try not to stress too much today about what the verdict may be, Spring, and be prepared for the possibility that judgement may be reserved to a later date.
How incredibly brave of you. And thank goodness it is now over.
Wishing you all the best for today, Spring.
I have just heard from Spring. He got off. . . Spring's cousin and his wife are looking after her.
Oh no Fuck, shit, crap. That fucking cunt got off? Shite. Omigod. Poor, poor, Spring - my heart goes out to her. Jeez, this is unbelieveable. Do the CPS intend to appeal - because they fucking should.
Please give Spring my love, tired. I've thought about her all day and I am truly horrified at this most unwelcome news.
Also please tell her if there's anything I can do, she's got it. And that maybe there is something we can do to make sure her experience doesn't happen to others.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
it doesn't change what he did though. Springy knows, and he knows. That is all that matters at the end of the day. If you are still in contact please give her my love and admiration.
Me too, izzy. I truly thought she had nothing to worry about. . . They have gone for pizza and are happy to be doing something normal. She has been a huge support to me over the past year and this is just dreadful.
I am so angry for you,spring but still think you are incredibly brave.
AF's absolutely spot on. Spring knows the truth - and so do we.
And we will find a way to make that truth a shining beacon of hope and encouragement for others who, through no fault of their own, are faced with similar ordeals to that which Spring has endured with such fortitude.
Sorry for the self-indulgence - izzy your description of him does not begin to do him justice. I hope and pray he gets what he deserves at the divorce hearing later this year.
makes me want to reach for a Colt irks me more than anything that this odious despicable lying piece of gobshite will be on a roll and think he's invincible.
Omigod. If it's unbearable for me to think of the smirk on his face, christ knows how Spring's coping with that thought.
I want to hurt him sooooo bad. I am not easily provoked to thoughts of violence, let alone the act, but it would give me so much pleasure to put his teeny tiny balls in a vice and tighten it ever so slowly until his pips squeak.
<goes in search of strong drink>
I have read your threads from the start springy. it is awful if he got off with it. I don't know how it is even possilbe. I hope after you get over all this again you live well and thrive, you are so brave.
If I can be of any help, goes without saying... count me in
I have a spade
Just wanted to add my admiration for you. So very sorry things have gone so wrong.
Wishing you strength.
So disgusting, disheartening, unfair, stereotyped and fucking horrible.
But as AF says...... you know what happened. The truth can be hidden, distorted and denied from others, but you both know. He is the one who will actually have long term mental health issues with this, the one who may now behave like this again and find himself in the same old mess in a few years time. The only thing to be thankful of is that he won't have learned a damned thing from this whole process, he will continue to 'be what he is', he is in total denial about what sort of person he is, and his life and mind will continue to be utterly fucked, his relationships living on a knife's edge, and I promise he won't be happy despite what he may appear to show you.
As for you, you tried your best, told the truth and you did the right thing. People die for their integrity in some cases, I'm not saying that is good, but I'd rather be honest and truthful and be criticised for that, than the other way round. You have the real chance to be happy again away from this person knowing you had the courage and integrity to stand up to him. And he knows that too, it doesn't matter that you 'lost'
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.