Fed up!

[paris100]

DH and I both work full time, have 3 DC under 5. I do the majority of the housework, anything he does, I have to ask him to help with and he complains about it and often laughs. He does help with children's breakfasts and baths though.

Both been off over the festive season, again, I did everything and I have that sinking feeling of here we go again. Don't live near family and in any case they wouldn't help out. DH's family make no contact with me whatsoever, but he says that's just the way they are.

Affection non existent. DH sleeps on the opposite edge of the bed, no physical contact in nearly a year. Minimum affection shown towards children. Try to speak to him about it but he walks away.

Now he's due to get an op within the next couple of months which will mean no lifting heavy items, so he's chosen to stay and be looked after by his mum post op and while he recovers (3 hours away). So that means I'll be struggling on my own again trying to get myself organised to go to work and deal with everything else.

Sorry for the moan, but just needed to get it all out. Sorely tempted to run.

[bumhead]

What do you get out of this relationship?
It sounds awful. You need to get out as soon as possible for your sake and for your DCs. You don't want them growing up thinking this is how it should be.
It doesn't exactly sound like a relationship that is functional even.
You sound overworked and miserable and I feel like I want to give you a non MN hug!
Life is for living and you deserve more than this living prison you're in.

[dequoisagitil]

What's the point of being married to this guy?

[tzella]

Struggling? Sounds like you'll do fine by yourself. You mostly do so already, right?

Take this as a test-run of being a single parent

[Allergictoironing]

Look on it as a holiday while he's away - only 3 children to look after rather than 4 .

But seriously, he sounds like he's more effort than help. I too will ask the question "what do you get out of this marriage"?

[HollyBerryBush]

It's always easy to be quite blunt about other peoples relationships from what they post - but you and your DH have no intimacy at all - by that I mean emotional intimacy (sex can go out of the window for a variety of reasons but the closeness should be there).

From what you have posted - you don't have a relationship - you house share with someone who doesn't want to be there. He's taking the opportunity to go home to his mother, effectively he is leaving you, but with a better excuse.

I'm sorry, I don't know whether thats what you want or not, but in 3 months you will be back here telling us he's left you and what is your position. if I were you, I'd be using those three months to get my life in order and be ready to move on as a single parent.