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I assaulted my husband and called the police on him.

(81 Posts)
Disaronno Wed 02-Jan-13 21:25:13

It happened on Sunday. Dh didn't get home the time he said he would (I called him at 3pm, he said hw would be home in a couple of hours time and cook dinner) so when I called him back at nearly 6 he was at the pub and was clearly "merry" so I didn't even asked anymore questions about what time he would be back as I knew it was pointless, so I gave ddi dinner and managed to put her to bed earlier because I didn't want her to see him drunk. We were both really upset that he lied again, he told her on the phone at 3 pm that he was coming for dinneradinner she had been looking out on the window to see him. Anyway, once she was asleep I couldn't sleep myself and became very anxious, so started to drink (I normally don't drink, but I really wanted to relax and calm down as I was so angry and disappointed I believed him and again he let us down). Anyway, he came drunk at 8pm, I was sitting in the dark, he kept asking what I was doing, I ignored him, he went into the bedroom, I heard noises, went to check and he was on the floor struggling to get up, I than helped him up and told himto go lie down on the sofa as I didn't want to sleep with him...helped him out of the bedroom but him insisted coming in, so I shove him really hard, he knocked his head on the wall and fell on the floor. Ì than noticed he didn't have his wallet and iPhone in his pockets, and screamed in anger where they were,aand asking if he lost it, got mugged or robed (it happened before) but as he lie there not talking, I keep getting angrier and angrier and have to really control myself not to assault him again. He than somehow manages to get up and speek and starts causing me of stealing his wallet and phone. By this time, dd (5) is awake so I stop the argument but him carries on swearing and accusing me of stealing. I than call the police (2nd time, last time was October last year, similar reasons but at that time I was really calm and collected and he was verbally abusive) . The police comes and I tell them everything omitting my aggression, he is not able to tell the police his side of the story, but he is clearly intoxicated and I'm sober, so police take my side,. Meanwhile Dh finds his wallet in the bedroom and police call his phone which is in the pub (I tried to look for his wallet and call his phone when he was accusing me but couldn't find it/no one answered) . Anyway this made Dh look even worse so police take his keys and give him a lift the pub (there's a travel lodge close by) . After half an hour Dh called me desparate asking to come back and I let him, he is in floods of tears like I never seen before even though he is quite emotional. I tell him to have a shower and go to sleep. Following day we talk on the phone and agree to carry on normally until we are ready to talk and again he promises to get help, but...he is still drinking one or two beers at home after work, still smoking his sucking weed and after tomorrow is his staff party at work, I'm already anxious and worried this drama will happen again.

Disaronno Thu 03-Jan-13 14:23:15

And for the first time I can see my troubles so clearly, before Christmas, I didn't think there was nothing wrong with me and all my problems was everybody else's fault.

TantrumsAndBalloons Thu 03-Jan-13 14:24:01

She is at risk in that she is living in an unhealthy enviroment which has now escalated into 2 drunk parents, violence and the police coming in the middle of the night, arresting her father, even though you were violent to him.

That is impacting on her well being whether you accept that or not. It is very unhealthy

tzella Thu 03-Jan-13 14:24:38

I read your other thread in Mental Health. Have you seen your GP to arrange a referral for some counselling?

Disaronno Thu 03-Jan-13 15:37:39

This isn't happening every day. I wasn't drunk. The police didn't arrest anyone. I know it is impacting hefty well being and I know it is unhealthy. I'm not in denial. I'm taking measures to change. I'm going to my appointment with the GP when school is back next week so she won't need to go in with me and listen to what I need to tell the doctor. I had a conversation with my husband and again set the boundaries. What else am I doing wrong?

NaturalBaby Thu 03-Jan-13 15:42:32

Do you have any family or friends who can help you look after your Dd while you sort out your issues.

Disaronno Thu 03-Jan-13 15:49:10

I have a sister who works full time and leave far away, his parents work full time and leave far away and the few friends I haven't push away, also have their children and busy lives and tbh I wouldn't let them know what is going on and that is why I have to post here.

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