Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

I assaulted my husband and called the police on him.

(81 Posts)
Disaronno Wed 02-Jan-13 21:25:13

It happened on Sunday. Dh didn't get home the time he said he would (I called him at 3pm, he said hw would be home in a couple of hours time and cook dinner) so when I called him back at nearly 6 he was at the pub and was clearly "merry" so I didn't even asked anymore questions about what time he would be back as I knew it was pointless, so I gave ddi dinner and managed to put her to bed earlier because I didn't want her to see him drunk. We were both really upset that he lied again, he told her on the phone at 3 pm that he was coming for dinneradinner she had been looking out on the window to see him. Anyway, once she was asleep I couldn't sleep myself and became very anxious, so started to drink (I normally don't drink, but I really wanted to relax and calm down as I was so angry and disappointed I believed him and again he let us down). Anyway, he came drunk at 8pm, I was sitting in the dark, he kept asking what I was doing, I ignored him, he went into the bedroom, I heard noises, went to check and he was on the floor struggling to get up, I than helped him up and told himto go lie down on the sofa as I didn't want to sleep with him...helped him out of the bedroom but him insisted coming in, so I shove him really hard, he knocked his head on the wall and fell on the floor. Ì than noticed he didn't have his wallet and iPhone in his pockets, and screamed in anger where they were,aand asking if he lost it, got mugged or robed (it happened before) but as he lie there not talking, I keep getting angrier and angrier and have to really control myself not to assault him again. He than somehow manages to get up and speek and starts causing me of stealing his wallet and phone. By this time, dd (5) is awake so I stop the argument but him carries on swearing and accusing me of stealing. I than call the police (2nd time, last time was October last year, similar reasons but at that time I was really calm and collected and he was verbally abusive) . The police comes and I tell them everything omitting my aggression, he is not able to tell the police his side of the story, but he is clearly intoxicated and I'm sober, so police take my side,. Meanwhile Dh finds his wallet in the bedroom and police call his phone which is in the pub (I tried to look for his wallet and call his phone when he was accusing me but couldn't find it/no one answered) . Anyway this made Dh look even worse so police take his keys and give him a lift the pub (there's a travel lodge close by) . After half an hour Dh called me desparate asking to come back and I let him, he is in floods of tears like I never seen before even though he is quite emotional. I tell him to have a shower and go to sleep. Following day we talk on the phone and agree to carry on normally until we are ready to talk and again he promises to get help, but...he is still drinking one or two beers at home after work, still smoking his sucking weed and after tomorrow is his staff party at work, I'm already anxious and worried this drama will happen again.

Disaronno Wed 02-Jan-13 21:26:51

Sorry the OP is a mess, my tablet isn't good.

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 02-Jan-13 21:28:21


You both need to stop drinking.

kinkyfuckery Wed 02-Jan-13 21:30:34

You assaulted your DH, and called the police, and because he was drunk, you've allowed him to take the blame for it all?

You're both disgusting. Your poor fucking daughter.

BluelightsAndSirens Wed 02-Jan-13 21:31:50


It sounds like you are both at the end of a horrible relationship to me.

Your behaviour is completly unacceptable, if you posted a s a man you would be ripped to shreds, you have no reason to push him so violently.

Do you have any where you can go or ask him to leave?

Your poor DC sad

Disaronno Wed 02-Jan-13 21:34:29

I just want to know if there is hope he will ever change? Ì will book an appointment for myself for the GP because I need to know what is gong on with me, I'm scared of what I did and I don't want ever feel like that again...but I'm also scared of GP overreacting, calling SS....

SirBoobAlot Wed 02-Jan-13 21:34:38

Your poor daughter. Feel disgusted reading this. She is five, and has two drunk parents, one of whom is beating the crap out of the other and lying about it to the police.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Shakey1500 Wed 02-Jan-13 21:35:48

Awful, just awful.

What a terrible environment for your daughter.

I suggest seeking immediate help for both of you.

spanky2 Wed 02-Jan-13 21:40:07

I hope this isn't true. You need to sort yourself out. yes your land dh behaved irresponsible but that is no excuse for violence. You should both be ashamed of yourselves . Your dh poor David dd. Violence is abhorrent. Sort yourself out.

DeafLeopard Wed 02-Jan-13 21:42:29

What an awful thread.

OP you both need to sort yourselves out for the sake of your DC. They deserve better than to grow up in a violent abusive environment.

OhEmGee25 Wed 02-Jan-13 21:42:58

This can't be real?

Disaronno Wed 02-Jan-13 21:45:08

I know it is disgusting, I'm not trying to make myself look better but I wasn't drunk and I hardly drink, however I suspect the little quantity of alcohol I consumed helped me loose control. It is not an excuse. I would like to ad that a part from the drinking/smoking, he is a good hard working man and I'm starting to realise that I may have a few problems going on regarding my anger even though I was never aggressive towards anyone before, I do few nowadays anger burning inside me for the smallest reasons.

ihearsounds Wed 02-Jan-13 21:45:42

You need help. You assault him, call the police on him, blame him and are proud of yourself?

You start to drink because you are anxious and unable to sleep, and all of this before 8pm?

Fucking hell I hope this is all a wind up.

WeeWeeWeeAllTheWayHome Wed 02-Jan-13 21:45:56

Bloody hell. Assaulting someone and then lying about it to the police is awful. Violence is never the answer, unless for self defence.

Also, I wouldn't be thinking about how you can get him to change, I would be looking at your own behaviour and how you can start to address it because it is not acceptable for your daughter (and DH) to be subjected to it.

BluelightsAndSirens Wed 02-Jan-13 21:45:56

I really hope it isn't but I fear that it is.

Who gets drunk whilst waiting for a pissed parent to arrive home late, who was parenting?

And then violence and lies and ick yuk


BluelightsAndSirens Wed 02-Jan-13 21:46:54

You need to see your GP and have some time apart from your partner gf or your child's sake.

AnnieLobeseder Wed 02-Jan-13 21:47:12

If you don't trust him, leave him. If he drinks too much, leave him. If he lies to you, leave him. But don't expose your poor innocent daughter to both of you drunk, arguing and you being violent to him. What an awful, toxic and damaging environment for her. Get help.

AnnieLobeseder Wed 02-Jan-13 21:48:13

And no, he won't change. People don't.

dippyDoohdah Wed 02-Jan-13 21:49:07

when has your anger started showing up? gp will probably just suggest a few counselling sessions..they are only general practitioners and can't be all things to all people..maybe toy need to speak to a domestic violence project to get more insight and help..or just separate if its that destructive..

FreudianLisp Wed 02-Jan-13 21:49:25

OP, you really, really, really need to address this anger and aggression as a matter of priority. Yes he was being irritating and unreliable, but you were violent. Not good.

And you're very lucky that your partner isn't pressing charges against you... this time.

twinklesparkles Wed 02-Jan-13 21:49:53

Hang on? You pushed him.. He fell and banged head.. Was then unconcious so you carried on attacking him.. Then you rang the police on him??

Erm....... Right.

Let's hope police ask for ss to come out since she was in the house at time you rang them about your domestic

Poor bloody kid sad is this a joke thread?

AmberLeaf Wed 02-Jan-13 21:50:27

If this is real.

You need to sort out your own drink issues.

Your poor child.

Tortington Wed 02-Jan-13 21:53:26

hes a pothead and a drunk, and your not acting in a grown up way

you know this.

you can't change him. change you - someone has to parent here.

EverybodysSnowyEyed Wed 02-Jan-13 21:53:34

So you pushed him and knocked him out, then searched his pockets?

Disaronno Wed 02-Jan-13 21:54:41

The violence, it happened for the first time. I mean, me shoving him. It's a normal household and dd is happy, loved and well looked after. Yes I know I shouldn't have touched alcohol if I was upset and anxious, I was just so disappointed that dh lied again specially after such a good Christmas, I just needed to calm down and made a terrible mistake drinking too. I'm not trying to make excuses for my behavior though, and I'm posting here because I don't want to tell anyone in RL

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now