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Another crap NYE...

(37 Posts)
redandyellowbits Mon 31-Dec-12 22:31:06

Had a crappy NYE last year as DH went out for a drink with his BIL and ended up having too many so I spent NYE alone at home with DDs whilst he was out having fun.

This year we have stayed in together. Can't go out as DDs are aged 5,3 and 4mo and I'm bf-ing. Also no family nearby or babysitters available.

Had a lovely evening, curry and wine, nearly ready for tv and snuggles in bed till midnight. It's now 10pm and DHs friend calls. DH wants to go out with him tonight. So another NYE at home alone.

I am totally pissed off, stormed upstairs and am watching tv in bed alone.

DH is sat downstairs alone feeling guilty and probably changing his mind about going out now. But what's the point in him staying in if we are arguing? Makes for a shit evening for us both. If he goes I'll be pissed off but if he stays the night will be rubbish anyway because of the argument. And I'll feel shit that I have made him stay in only for me not to be talking to him.

To add some context he goes out with this friend maybe once a month and always comes back late so the next day he is on the couch most of the day. My New Years resolution was to go out more with DH and do more with him, yet he is planning NYE alone without me, again.

Apart from that he is great. Hardly ever goes out and spend all Xmas with me at the inlaws even though he was invited on boys nights out.

Just ranting really. How shit.

redandyellowbits Tue 01-Jan-13 11:21:35

Thanks for your comments last night - had a lovely evening in the end, I hope you guys did too.

dequoisagitil I'm not sure I gave in and am denying a problem here - I called him up on it and he cancelled and stayed in with good grace.

He knows I want to go out more so I'm not so resentful, it is easier said than done because of small DDs no family or babysitters. I don't think the argument signified a bigger problem within the relationship. But your comment did make me have a good think in case I was missing a bigger picture issue, so thank you, it's sincerely appreciated.

I hope you are having good NYDs, it's a day in with tv and games for the DDs for us today grin

Bogeyface Tue 01-Jan-13 00:26:53

I think you were right in being pissed off, as if a night in with you was fine...until a better offer came along.

I would feel the same.

I am glad you sorted it out smile

biff23 Mon 31-Dec-12 23:50:31

Lol just read your update, enjoy you're night wink

biff23 Mon 31-Dec-12 23:45:59

I'd be furious if dh wanted to go out without me tonight. Thankfully he would've ever consider it. We would always go out before the kids but now they are here we see it as a joint responsibility and appreciate we just can't do the same as we used to.

Your dh should be with his family for the start of the new year.

dequoisagitil Mon 31-Dec-12 23:42:38

Oh well as long as long as you solve your dissatisfaction with the relationship with giving him a blow job, nothing can be wrong hmm.

Horsemad Mon 31-Dec-12 23:42:07

Win win OP grin

Snazzynewyear Mon 31-Dec-12 23:40:51

Good! Have a nice snuggle smile

redandyellowbits Mon 31-Dec-12 23:37:47

Ok, I have explained to him that I am annoyed that the last two NYE he has gone out without me. He forgot this was the case and thought of them as usual nights out - no significance to being NYE its just a night out to him. So he's called his friend back and cancelled. He is staying in with me now instead.

Tbh I feel like a bit of a numpty making him stay in to watch tv with me but I am glad he has decided to go out another night instead.

The issue of me not getting nights out is something that still remains and I'll have to figure something out even if its keep fit classes or something to get me out in the evenings.

Off to snuggle up now and maybe even a blow job.

hatgirl Mon 31-Dec-12 23:27:48

have you got any 'nice' jobs for him to do tomorrow? Go down all cheery and say i've had a think and I'm happy for you to go out tonight as long as you do x y z tomorrow and bring me cups of tea all day grin

then sit back, relax and watch (maybe have a bath, pamper sesh) whatever the hell you like on TV tonight

Snazzynewyear Mon 31-Dec-12 23:27:03

I think you're perfectly justified in being annoyed, OP.

redandyellowbits Mon 31-Dec-12 23:26:26

snazzynewyear I think that's part of the problem - I don't get the big nights out generally. We live in the same city as his two closest friends. One is single so he is always up for a night out.

I have a few friends here but mostly mums with young children. My closest mum friend is never free to go out she's a homebody or goes out with her DH. So I always feel hard done by when DH has one of his nights out, especially as I can't usually go because of lack of babysitters or lack of friends to go with.

dequoisagitil Mon 31-Dec-12 23:22:41

If your mate had called, how would he have reacted?

redandyellowbits Mon 31-Dec-12 23:21:42

You're right, I should not have stormed out. I was just so angry at him for making plans without talking it through with me first.

I agree, he can see me every night, and this is no different to any other - i.e. an evening at home, watching tv and then bed, as we do every night. It is more the feeling of being the booby prize that has annoyed me.

Snazzynewyear Mon 31-Dec-12 23:20:54

Not very considerateof him to change plans at the last minute. Do you ever get to go out on your own, especially on 'big' nights like NYE? I know at the moment you're bfing but generally..?

SleighbellsRingInYourLife Mon 31-Dec-12 23:19:18

He is a very silly man.

SarahBumBarer Mon 31-Dec-12 23:16:29

Do one thing or the other: send him out or go down and say sorry for blowing up but you were enjoying being with him and felt hurt that he wanted to go out when you thought you were having a nice time together and recapture that nice time. Don't go to bed on NYE not speaking.

dequoisagitil Mon 31-Dec-12 23:11:43

He can also be with her anytime. :D

TeaDr1nker Mon 31-Dec-12 23:10:07

I think he should be with you, you made plans to be together, he can go out with his mates anytime.

I hope he is with you and you have sorted things out to bring in the NY together

sunshine401 Mon 31-Dec-12 23:05:38

O I love it "let him out" lol like he needs permission smile
I wouldn't say you were BU to be annoyed but you were a bit dramatic as to sulk of upstairs like a teenager. You should just talk to him like an adult. Might get better results.

BillyBollyBrandy Mon 31-Dec-12 23:03:57

So you think you are going to bed to have a cuddle and see the new year in together.

However, he has said actually he would rather go down the pub than do that.

I would be pissed off, and would feel as though he would rather be elsewhere than with me and I was a sort of booby prize! I bet he wouldn't have been very understanding if the roles were reversed.

Horsemad Mon 31-Dec-12 23:03:26

I don't think he should be going out, you made plans to stay in tonight.

MySonIsMyWorld Mon 31-Dec-12 23:01:05

i'm having a shit one too my dp is on his fucking xbox again so i will be sleeping next to my sons cotbed tonight with my book haha. Fucking men!

dequoisagitil Mon 31-Dec-12 22:59:50

See, I'm on both sides at once: I can see both sides (and have lived your side). But I wouldn't want to be the one who stopped him going out when his friend called.

I know, however, if my mate called me in the same situation, dh would send me out.

And he does.

noisytoys Mon 31-Dec-12 22:58:26

I think he should be at home with you. Since having DDs we have massive house parties here every new year because if we can't go to the parties, the parties can come to us grin

RandomMess Mon 31-Dec-12 22:57:52

I wouldn't be happy if it means he does sod all tomorrow...

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