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Another crap NYE...

(37 Posts)
redandyellowbits Mon 31-Dec-12 22:31:06

Had a crappy NYE last year as DH went out for a drink with his BIL and ended up having too many so I spent NYE alone at home with DDs whilst he was out having fun.

This year we have stayed in together. Can't go out as DDs are aged 5,3 and 4mo and I'm bf-ing. Also no family nearby or babysitters available.

Had a lovely evening, curry and wine, nearly ready for tv and snuggles in bed till midnight. It's now 10pm and DHs friend calls. DH wants to go out with him tonight. So another NYE at home alone.

I am totally pissed off, stormed upstairs and am watching tv in bed alone.

DH is sat downstairs alone feeling guilty and probably changing his mind about going out now. But what's the point in him staying in if we are arguing? Makes for a shit evening for us both. If he goes I'll be pissed off but if he stays the night will be rubbish anyway because of the argument. And I'll feel shit that I have made him stay in only for me not to be talking to him.

To add some context he goes out with this friend maybe once a month and always comes back late so the next day he is on the couch most of the day. My New Years resolution was to go out more with DH and do more with him, yet he is planning NYE alone without me, again.

Apart from that he is great. Hardly ever goes out and spend all Xmas with me at the inlaws even though he was invited on boys nights out.

Just ranting really. How shit.

extracrunchy Mon 31-Dec-12 22:33:02

Nothing particularly helpful to say except sorry you're having a crap night and hope he comes up and apologises xx

dequoisagitil Mon 31-Dec-12 22:38:44

Send him out.

igotaway Mon 31-Dec-12 22:40:38

I agree, let him go, with a smile

redandyellowbits Mon 31-Dec-12 22:43:20

Interested to hear that I should let him go.. am I being unreasonable in my pissed off-ness?

MegBusset Mon 31-Dec-12 22:45:24

God I would let him go, you've had a nice evening together, what's the harm?

dequoisagitil Mon 31-Dec-12 22:46:10

I think you should let him go, yes.

Not unreasonable to feel grumpy at being home alone, but if you trust him out by himself, unreasonable to keep him home just because you can't go out together.

dequoisagitil Mon 31-Dec-12 22:47:41

Next year, when you're not b-fding, you leave him home with the dc ;).

Toughasoldboots Mon 31-Dec-12 22:50:17

I think that he should have stayed in with you actually.

DeckSwabber Mon 31-Dec-12 22:53:05

Not at all unreasonable to feel pissed off.

If you want him to stay could you just tell him (kindly) that you are sorry to be upset but that you are really just disappointed and that you were enjoying being with him?

HellonHeels Mon 31-Dec-12 22:56:09

Am surprised at people telling you he should go out. You'd planned to spend NYE together and now he wants to go off without you -I think that's pretty poor.

MrsTomHardy Mon 31-Dec-12 22:56:58

I think he should stay in with you tbh

RandomMess Mon 31-Dec-12 22:57:52

I wouldn't be happy if it means he does sod all tomorrow...

noisytoys Mon 31-Dec-12 22:58:26

I think he should be at home with you. Since having DDs we have massive house parties here every new year because if we can't go to the parties, the parties can come to us grin

dequoisagitil Mon 31-Dec-12 22:59:50

See, I'm on both sides at once: I can see both sides (and have lived your side). But I wouldn't want to be the one who stopped him going out when his friend called.

I know, however, if my mate called me in the same situation, dh would send me out.

And he does.

MySonIsMyWorld Mon 31-Dec-12 23:01:05

i'm having a shit one too my dp is on his fucking xbox again so i will be sleeping next to my sons cotbed tonight with my book haha. Fucking men!

Horsemad Mon 31-Dec-12 23:03:26

I don't think he should be going out, you made plans to stay in tonight.

BillyBollyBrandy Mon 31-Dec-12 23:03:57

So you think you are going to bed to have a cuddle and see the new year in together.

However, he has said actually he would rather go down the pub than do that.

I would be pissed off, and would feel as though he would rather be elsewhere than with me and I was a sort of booby prize! I bet he wouldn't have been very understanding if the roles were reversed.

sunshine401 Mon 31-Dec-12 23:05:38

O I love it "let him out" lol like he needs permission smile
I wouldn't say you were BU to be annoyed but you were a bit dramatic as to sulk of upstairs like a teenager. You should just talk to him like an adult. Might get better results.

TeaDr1nker Mon 31-Dec-12 23:10:07

I think he should be with you, you made plans to be together, he can go out with his mates anytime.

I hope he is with you and you have sorted things out to bring in the NY together

dequoisagitil Mon 31-Dec-12 23:11:43

He can also be with her anytime. :D

SarahBumBarer Mon 31-Dec-12 23:16:29

Do one thing or the other: send him out or go down and say sorry for blowing up but you were enjoying being with him and felt hurt that he wanted to go out when you thought you were having a nice time together and recapture that nice time. Don't go to bed on NYE not speaking.

SleighbellsRingInYourLife Mon 31-Dec-12 23:19:18

He is a very silly man.

Snazzynewyear Mon 31-Dec-12 23:20:54

Not very considerateof him to change plans at the last minute. Do you ever get to go out on your own, especially on 'big' nights like NYE? I know at the moment you're bfing but generally..?

redandyellowbits Mon 31-Dec-12 23:21:42

You're right, I should not have stormed out. I was just so angry at him for making plans without talking it through with me first.

I agree, he can see me every night, and this is no different to any other - i.e. an evening at home, watching tv and then bed, as we do every night. It is more the feeling of being the booby prize that has annoyed me.

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