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I just cant cope anymore!

(29 Posts)
xmasevebundle Mon 31-Dec-12 11:31:17

I had my son on the 13th decemeber via c-section. Its my first child and im no longer with the babies father.

When he was born i was happy, we had a great bond when i was pregnant i use to talk to him and tell him about the outside world.

Now, i dont even want to do anything for him. I have my mum and dad living with me who are supporting me so much, since i've got back from the hospital they have done the night feeds expect 3.

I just cant bond with him, when i change, feed burp him and still crying i either start crying myself or pass him to my mum.

I always look after him in the day change him,feed him etc and im fine i like it. I just dont feel no bond.

My mum said she thinks ive PND? but i dont? But i guess thats what everyone says sad

I dont really eat i have no intrest in life or him and it makes me really sad i feel this way. I knew it was going to be hard but not this hard.

I dont go out that much as i dont have many friends i was a recluse in my pregnancy. When they put me in mums groups its always young ones.. Im 19 nearly 20 what do i have in common with a 14 year old expect being pregnant?

BeckyBendyLegs Mon 31-Dec-12 17:37:33

Hello. I suggest you post in the mental health section on mumsnet. There are lots of lovely people there who have been through this who can give you some advice on what to do and reassurance that you are going to be ok. I had PND and I was lucky in that I told my health visitor and she told me about a group that the my local health visitors run for mums called 'transition into motherhood' and although this was my third, the group was brilliant. It really, really helped me. PND is very common, and not an unusual reaction to having a baby. Your hormones are all over the place and some people can bounce back very easily and quickly, others can't. It will get better but I do suggest you seek some help, I'd suggest talking to the HV or the GP. I talked to both and the GP wasn't very helpful to be honest but that was just my experience. Some people find the GP is a good place to start. He did refer me for some counseling on the NHS which came 18 months later, which although a bit late was absolutely fantastic, by far the best thing for me at the time. I wish you luck, but do try the mental health section. I did and I got a huge amount of support there.

amillionyears Mon 31-Dec-12 17:54:58

She needs to go to the GP. And soon.

Twiggy71 Mon 31-Dec-12 19:11:00

Please see your doctor xmasevebundle you sound very much like I was after the birth of my ds.

I felt very detached from him after the birth after i had wanted him so much. I had very scary thoughts going through my head about harming myself and worrying that i would do something to my baby.

One minute I wanted to look after him and then the next I didn't want him anywhere near me..

I knew in my heart that something was wrong that how i was feeling wasn't normal. I went to the drs and it was the first step towards recovery. Through medication and talking and support.

Please look after yourself your mental health is as important as your physical health.

WinterWinds Tue 01-Jan-13 11:13:02

If you have the HV coming out on Wednesday please, please talk to her how you are feeling.
I dont know if they still do the same but when i had my DD almost 10 years ago, i was given a questionaire to fill in by my HV, to look for possible signs of PND.
She also asked lots of questions to make sure i wasn't struggling mentally or physically. As she stated that the sooner they pick up the possibility of PND the better. The HV is trained to deal with PND.

As it turns out i was ok when i did the questionaire, but the PND kicked in much later and i didn't seek help until DD was 2 1/2 years old as i was in denial that that i had PND. But i knew it wasn't normal to want to hurt myself on a daily basis!!
DH coaxed me into going to the doctors, PND was diagnosed and i was prescribed meds.
I took those meds and i am so glad i did. They gave me my life back!!

I was prone to bouts of depression anyway but just didn't realise thats what i had, i think the baby hormones just brought it all to a head.

Now when i look back i was in such a dark place back then, i missed so much of DD's first years due to the black fog hanging over me. There is lots that i cant remember and if DD asks things like how old she was when she learned to walk, i lie because i simply dont know! sad
Most of my memories of DD start at the age of 3, there isn't much before that
I regret that i didn't get help sooner as i can never get those years back.

Please please dont be me like me, PND is nothing to be ashamed of. If you are offered Meds then dont feel like a failure for taking them. Talk to your HV and if you are ready to accept help she will get the ball rolling.

Dont expect miracles straight away as it takes time, But i can assure you you wont always feel like this and hopefully you will look back and realise you did the best possible thing in seeking help.

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