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14yearold girl slept with 23yearild man

(166 Posts)
RileyTheLittleMonster Sun 30-Dec-12 21:21:29

This is not me!
I'm using different name, 14 year old girl-Jill
Man, jack

End if January I walked in and found jack ontop if Jill having sex, very disturbing.. these two people are well was really close to me. It's jills second time she lost her virginity at 13 but we found out a ciuple weeks after this happened.

Jills mum decided to ground her for two months and band her from seeing him for a couple if weeks until her 15th birthday.

Jill is my sister, my mum hasnt stopped her from seeing him he is around EVERY WEEKEND.

They lie on the sofa giving each other love bites, he sneakers upstairs at night until past 3am and he sets his alarm every morning at 6-7am to go upstairs .

I find it very weird but my mum is soft!! What shalld i di?

izzyizin Tue 01-Jan-13 20:18:25

Firstly, it isn't Sophie's responsibility to protect her dsis WAE as that duty more properly falls to her dm and/or her df.

Secondly, as you clearly know, unless Sophie's dsis is willing co-operate the police cannot act in this matter and involving them at this point may cause the dsis to believe that she and her current sexual partner are 'star-crossed lovers' with a predictably negative outcome

Sophie's dsis is in need of professional help to enable her to understand what has caused her to enter into a relationship with an adult male who does not have her best interests at heart, and why it is inappropriate for her to be sexually active without using contraceptive protection at this time in her young life.

In doing well in her studies, Sophie can lead by example to her siblings by showing that education is where it's at and, to that end, I sincerely hope she'll be putting any thoughts of becoming pg again out of her mind until she's firmly established in a career of her choice.

Happy New Year to you, too, Sophie. I hope 2013 is the year you'll look back on as the one in which you came of age emotionally and began to focus on seeking fulfilment through educational achievement.

SophieBirkBirk Wed 02-Jan-13 01:41:39

Thank you izzy, I hope on one day becoming a midwife or even neonatal nurse to help those get through what I've been through but with more positive. My partner is very supportive of this and is hoping to expand on his business this year so having a baby is out of the picture for a while, which is the clever thing to do smile. I always try to be a good role model to my younger siblings, they mean alot to me. They'll get far because I'm going to be kicking them up the ass until they are who. they want to be [from]

Happy new year izzy, hope its a brilliant year for you thanks

MadameCastafiore Wed 02-Jan-13 06:10:50

It is beyond me how anyone can condone or facilitate the sexual abuse of a child and this is, bottom line, what you and your mother are doing unless you report what is going on.

What is going to make you take action? When you find him with a 12 year old?

Do you not think social services should be involved? I do, your mother is not fulfilling her bloody job description is she and obviously needs help. Either way i firmly believe that both you and she are complicit in the abuse of your sister by not reporting this.

MadameCastafiore Wed 02-Jan-13 06:14:09

And Izzy you have a screw loose if you don't think we have a collective responsibility as a members of society to report abuse. It is not just a mother or fathers role but anyone, aunt, sister, uncle, school teacher, friend.

FellatioNelson Wed 02-Jan-13 06:34:51

OK, haven't read the thread - just steaming in. If you are only 18 and you have had three MCs since April then you are hardly setting your sister a good example or are in any position to preach about birth control are you?

The man needs to be reported and your mother needs a good shake for enabling this to continue.

I don't think it is unrealistic to expect 24 yo girls to want sex with boys they love. I do think it is unreasonable for 23 yo adult men to take advantage of that. And more than a bit weird.

I don't think I'll bother reading the thread as I suspect I might find every aspect of it depressing.

FellatioNelson Wed 02-Jan-13 06:42:25

I have a 23 yo nephew who is extremely inexperienced with girls, and quite immature due to a history of various LDs, dyslexia, ADD and imho undiagnosed dyspraxia and AS.

I can imagine when he eventually gets a GF she will be quite a bit younger than him, but I hope he would not on any level think that someone under the age of consent was a viable proposition. And if he did, I would hope that my DSis and BIL would do whatever they could to put a stop to it pretty damned quick.

SPBInDisguise Wed 02-Jan-13 07:17:46

So have u spoken to nspcc?

SophieBirkBirk Wed 02-Jan-13 14:35:52

My miscarriages have nothing to do with this topic. Plus she doesnt know about the 2 at 7 weeks. I'm on birth control now and if you ask anyone I know tgey will tell you I'm a good role model to my family and others.

All you need to know is that we've started to control the situation and we continue to do so until Its sorted. My mum was scared because what happened previously and i do not expect any of you to understand that. All that matter is thw situation is getting sorted. Ou can say my mums a bad mum because you dont know her, shed do anything for her kids and she just melted underpressure. As for me being a bad role model, keep thinking that. The two jobs i want in the future are to help others. I've had 3 pregnancies doesnt make me a bad person.

JamieandtheMagiTorch Wed 02-Jan-13 15:11:52

Good luck OP

Great posts izzy

FellatioNelson Wed 02-Jan-13 15:20:26

OK, finally read the thread. Fucking hell, it's one of those that unfolds like a car crash in slow motion, isn't it?

I can do no more than repeat the excellent post from yellowtulips which says all that can possibly be said under the circumstances, and in the least judgemental way, which is something I clearly lack the capacity for, because this stuff depresses me so much.

So once more with feeling, from yellowtulips

Oh dear, what a very sad thread.

Sophie, firstly I am very sad for your loss. I think you have made a positive, wise and mature decision to get appropriate contraception (please make sure you do this and follow through) and focus on your education.

To respond to your post:

You love your mum, but you need to separate what you feel from her actions. She isn't being a good mum to you or your sister right now. There may be understandable reasons for this in respect of the pressure of care for other siblings and lack of support, but it is a harsh truth you need to accept.

This "man" pervert should not be allowed in the home and she needs to address this. She should not be placing a decision to call the police on you, that's her job.

I think as a start you need to speak to someone in confidence who can help you, such as the NSPCC or Childline. Find out what the options are and then speak to your mother and ask her what SHE intends to do next.

Good luck - I wish you all the best

SophieBirkBirk Wed 02-Jan-13 15:22:28

Thank you JamieandtheMagiTorch thanks. I agree Izzy's posts have been fantastic help.

SophieBirkBirk Wed 02-Jan-13 15:28:33

Fella thank you for the reply, my mum has started to sort the situation and knows she was wrong to not take responsability straight away.

I'm defiantly sticking to contraception as I'm having recurrent miscarriage testing in 3 months and they cant test if I get pregnant. Plus I know my background right know isn't stable enough for bringing up a baby smile.

JustinBoobie Wed 02-Jan-13 15:29:34

ahh, op - I wish only good things for you in 2013, you sound amazing.

SophieBirkBirk Wed 02-Jan-13 15:34:30

Thank you Justinboobie smile thanks

TheAccidentalExhibitionist Wed 02-Jan-13 18:06:07

Izzyizin you are amazing

katiemummy2012 Wed 02-Jan-13 21:48:13

This isnt that unusual, when I was in my early to mid 20s I was well aware of men my own age having sex with 14 15 year old girls

I actually heard many of them usually 19 20 year old guys saying they went after young girls as they are easier to bed than women their own age

wrong? yes, but shocking? No.

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