Sorry its long, I guess I need to vent too...
I hope I can get some advice and support as I am at the end of my tether, I wish my exh would move on, and leave me alone, though I am resigning myself to the fact that he never will :-(
I received a text on Boxing day (probably to deliberately to upset me during the holidays, which it did) It said he didn't want his son dressing like the pauper of his school or begging for clothes?? This was directed at me yet I don't let my ds want for anything. And so I should hand over my Child Benefit to him as he would so a better job! Then on collecting my ds yesterday, he asked me if I had the relevant info ie. my CB number so he can contact HMRC to arrange the hand over my child benefit to him, he told me he doesn't want to contest it through HMRC as all payment would stop (I don't care) otherwise an enquiry will begin? I asked what he meant and he said he will report me to Social Services?? I know this is blackmail. I can't believe he is stooping so low after 6 years! I moved 6 months ago from a rented property into a lovely new home with my dp, things are good, my DS enjoys this home, gets on well with dp's ds from a previous marriage, I am a good mum. I think my exh still wants to control me and will go to any lengths to be a SOB and upset us all. I know him, I'm sure if it is not this, it will be something else
When I left exh almost 6 years ago, I had nothing, it took 12 months to get any money from our separation, I rented an unfurnished flat, I had no beds for my ds and I, not a chair to sit on, nothing. I earned 1/3 of his salary and I struggled to build a home for us. Yet he would turn to me and say I am not giving any money towards a school uniform, shoes, jacket, I am not paying towards his karate classes or school trips, or anything! - he would tell me - 'you can pay for it you get child benefit'. I bought it all myself even though exh benefitted from it.
He said to me yesterday, you didn't want for anything. I was actually treated like a door mat. I did everything, looking after ds, all driving, cooking (I actually had to wake him when dinner was ready), cleaning, shopping, ironing, clean car and servicing etc, I was miserable, I realised he was manipulative and controlling. I could give so many instances when he was just was horrible. And I would be divorced but just to sort the finances cost thousands because he would not agree to anything and because I was working freelance I got no Legal aid. I know it is all Control! He is still single btw.
I won't speak to him on the phone because he is just horrible. I allow text's only to arrange hand over of our DS who is now a teenager. Though his texts of late cause me to get upset.
Would you had over the CB? WWYD? As I said any advice would be gratefully received.
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Relationships
EXh is now blackmailing me, unless I hand him my Child Benefit
MsSavingPennies · 30/12/2012 17:09
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