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Heartbroken and struggling to cope

(782 Posts)
Chaoscarriesonagain Sat 29-Dec-12 18:25:48

That's just it really. DP and I have gone our seperate ways. He was perfect in the beginning .. Grew into aggressive, ill tempered and sometimes emotional abuser. It progressed into pushing me, bruises to boot etc. Yet after all this I didn't have the courage to leave. After a horrendous Christmas with MIL and my parents I cracked and told parents extent. Last night they helped me remove everything from our home together. His reaction was empty, infact he ran away.

I haven't eaten, I can't sleep, all I can think of is the love I have for him. I wish it could go , I feel like am in mourning. It goes against everything I believe in.

I am so lucky; everyone rallying round; all I want us to see him, smell him and kiss him. But he wanted to end the relationship; he blames me for awful MIL reaction to Christmas. I can't fathom out what to do. I want this man who never treated me right, I crave and desire him, against the best wishes if all friends and family.

I am really, really struggling.

SoleSource Thu 03-Jan-13 22:44:31


No I wouldn't be with a guy for the sake of the child. The child knows.

If be turns up will you be safe, Chaos?

Chaoscarriesonagain Thu 03-Jan-13 22:53:48

Wow am so never going back there, what a nutter

Chaoscarriesonagain Thu 03-Jan-13 22:54:43

Ill be fine, I just know I will.

He's really cracking up. I can see now how he's brought me down so much

OverlyYappyAlways Thu 03-Jan-13 22:54:43

Oh definitely a bad move bringing a child up into any type of relationship with him imo

Chaoscarriesonagain Thu 03-Jan-13 22:55:22

Oh yes yappy he's crazy and cracking up! You should hear his immature guff

OverlyYappyAlways Thu 03-Jan-13 22:56:00

He's not cracking up, he's an idiot losing control! Please, try not to give him any more brain space than he deserves tonight, turn your phone off or something, forget him and try wind down a bit.

SoleSource Thu 03-Jan-13 22:57:24

Keep talking to us Chaos, we all need an outlet x

OverlyYappyAlways Thu 03-Jan-13 22:59:22

I have phone full of that crap, I laugh when I read it now, mine even a had a g/friend. He is/was a lunatic. I have no idea where he will end up, not in good way I suspect. He still thought he could come back in August and thank god I can say last year... I sent him text to confirm my level of hate for hima nd he would never be back in my house again.... this was after 2 lawyers telling him much the same.

Don't let him play with your head at all. So not worth it.

Chaoscarriesonagain Thu 03-Jan-13 22:59:37

Oh trust me, he's cracking up. I told you I'd see his demise, and I am. I ain't falling for if, and I ain't going back. He just gets more comical the more I think about him

Chaoscarriesonagain Thu 03-Jan-13 23:00:00

He's binned

OverlyYappyAlways Thu 03-Jan-13 23:00:40

Is he threatening to kill himself yet?

Okay my experience may have been extreme grin

Chaoscarriesonagain Thu 03-Jan-13 23:04:02

Of course he is, you name it, he's on it!!!

He's so low, nothing in his life is right etc etc !!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my, chaos has really smelled the coffee!!!!

Allergictoironing Thu 03-Jan-13 23:26:46

Yappy they nearly all do the threatening suicide thing, it's in The Script lol.

He will swing from crying & being depressed, suicidal, to blaming our lovely Chaos for every single ill in his life probably since the day he was born. Just wait for the threatening phase, when he will probably say he will take the unborn (potential) baby from Chaos the second it is delivered wink.

Chaoscarriesonagain Thu 03-Jan-13 23:30:48

You know what yappy am ready, am so ready!!!

This is it 6 days no eating, barely sleeping and tears that could cover the mass that is the Victoria falls . This ends here

He's betrayed me so much ; my heart, my feelings, our live(

He's been on the phone to mother and his ex has enquiries as she saw on Facebook ...

The humiliation of chaos stops here!!!

I am off shopping this weekend and next am off to the spa at the old course hotel, fuck this!!!!

OverlyYappyAlways Thu 03-Jan-13 23:40:13

Yeah he may even tell you it was your fault, he loves you so much you know? Only you could do this to him... and he loves you so much (again) you are driving him crazy!


Don't buy it! Mines liked to drag me about by my hand, I was humiliated for years... I do not like PDAS, I felt like a 6 year old. An old one.

Remember he will change soon too. I totally believed it, he was so bloody thin, and scruffy, I think I really only was my TV back tbh! I also bought the whole 'it takes 2 parents to raise 2 child' this is not true, it take on sane one who can keep her hands to herself and let her Dc be bloody DC.. honestly he would be a nightmare if you had a baby, my baby remember things from when he was 3 years old.

Have you not been accused of having sex with people yet? I was .... I am slutty bad bad abusive person if you ask my ex... I will not lie he has that affect on me now, I just want to swear at him upon sight, I avoid his town now. I avoid him period!

OverlyYappyAlways Thu 03-Jan-13 23:42:57

Good plan!!

Block him away for a while, he will be fine, he has his mum, go get pampered.

It's terrible to think what could have been etc. I try not to do that, these men choose how to act, no one forces them chaos, there is always another option.

Chaoscarriesonagain Thu 03-Jan-13 23:45:18

Thanks ! He's so OTT!! You should have heard him.

I calmly said have you sought help out for your anger and need to push me and you guessed it, he said 'you make me' 'you stand in my way and don't let me leave, I have to push you'

Can he not hear himself????

Chaoscarriesonagain Thu 03-Jan-13 23:46:06

Oh and he is having heart palpitations and can't cope, he's overly anxious and his life is a mess hmm!!!!

Chaoscarriesonagain Thu 03-Jan-13 23:48:05

Actually, tonight chaos' life is incredible!!!!!!!!!

I have the world at my feet, a sane a d caring family, great friends, wonderful MN cyber chums, the money from the house in my account and am.......


I need to get over the shame and embarrassment of this, it's the making of me, and something is telling me it's going to be great!!!

OverlyYappyAlways Thu 03-Jan-13 23:50:27

Yes mine was too. Very unwell, had to seek medical help in the end, never attended the appointments, he forgot to change his address I got the letters, no idea of forwarding address.

Chaoscarriesonagain Thu 03-Jan-13 23:51:22

My father told me this would haunt him in more ways than being lonely, I think he's right!

Allergictoironing Thu 03-Jan-13 23:51:58

Yay for Chaos, sounds like you've turned a big corner being able to laugh at him. Give yourself wine or brew as a reward grin. Look how far you've come in 5 days - from feeling like you couldn't live without him, to finding everything he says as a cause for laughing at him.

Chaoscarriesonagain Thu 03-Jan-13 23:55:13

Thanks allergic ... How can they be so shallow and pathetic? I thought it was be, I thought I was pathetic? No, I did what any poor cow does in love. What's his excuse??!?

OverlyYappyAlways Fri 04-Jan-13 00:01:28

I have no idea tbh! I blamed his parents, I was advised he made his choices, mine is a pathetic loser. I felt a tiny bit sorry for his life earlier this year.... it has turned out very bad.

I need to got to bed, you have 'left the bastard' now turn our phone off/down and go read a book or drink wine and forget him for a while, if you think of him when trying to get to sleep try concentrate on your breathing, from your toes to the chest etc etc etc no thinking of him - he is not worth all this brain space, go chill out soon!!

Chaoscarriesonagain Fri 04-Jan-13 00:02:57

Thanks yappy, sweet dreams!!!

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