Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

What would you say is essential in a good relationship?

(160 Posts)
pleasestopcarolling Thu 27-Dec-12 16:19:30

I' m not looking for perfect just basic essentiais without which you think a relationship wouldn't work.

SirSugar Thu 27-Dec-12 16:21:03


insancerre Thu 27-Dec-12 16:22:13

Sense of humour
art of compromise
being able to talk and listen
things in common

pleasestopcarolling Thu 27-Dec-12 16:22:45

I agree , anything else?

CrispyHedgeHogmanay Thu 27-Dec-12 16:23:11

open honest communication with no bullshitting or passive aggressive crap

mckenzie Thu 27-Dec-12 16:24:16

communication, communication, communication

insancerre Thu 27-Dec-12 16:24:43

and physical attraction grin

GinandChocolate Thu 27-Dec-12 16:27:51


Asinine Thu 27-Dec-12 16:28:35

Basic hygiene

pleasestopcarolling Thu 27-Dec-12 16:29:07

Would you include a reasonably regular sex life?

BlameItOnTheBogey Thu 27-Dec-12 16:29:34

Respect, kindness and communication.

Thisisaeuphemism Thu 27-Dec-12 16:30:00

Compatability - so yes, sex comes under that.

strumpetpumpkin Thu 27-Dec-12 16:30:15

communication, realism, respect, love, connection and feeling sexually satisfied.

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock Thu 27-Dec-12 16:31:15

yes a reasonably regular sex life that both parties are happy with (the regularity) is important for me.

pleasestopcarolling Thu 27-Dec-12 16:31:30

and selfishness? (not sure that' s a proper word)

pleasestopcarolling Thu 27-Dec-12 16:32:38

I me a by UN selfishness!

pleasestopcarolling Thu 27-Dec-12 16:33:27

sorry stupid spell correct

wannabedomesticgoddess Thu 27-Dec-12 16:33:35

The ability to admit you are wrong and apologise.

Sex is important yes. But similar sex drives is crucial. If neither want it or both love it then ok. If one does and the other doesnt then there could be problems.

Mutual respect.

Lueji Thu 27-Dec-12 16:35:48

I'd say

good communication
similar values

physical attraction, of course

SummerDad Thu 27-Dec-12 16:36:23

Respect for the person and his/her needs
Intimacy (just not sex)
Common values

Can go on further but I guess these are the most important ones for me

SummerDad Thu 27-Dec-12 16:39:23

Sex is important yes. But similar sex drives is crucial. If neither want it or both love it then ok. If one does and the other doesnt then there could be problems.

sex drive does change over the time but if there is an element of respect of the needs of each other, a difference in the sex drive can be overcome IMHO, I like to think so.

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock Thu 27-Dec-12 16:43:02

i agree summerdad and that is where communication will come in aswell.

SummerDad Thu 27-Dec-12 16:48:46

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock sorry, I just meant to add to your comment and not to contradict it. Compatible sex drives with physical attraction is a fatal combination no doubt.

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock Thu 27-Dec-12 16:56:31

oh i didn't even realise you were commenting in reference to my comment! grin

lemontruffles Thu 27-Dec-12 16:57:00

mutual respect
deep honesty and trust between you
physical intimacy
time for each other
wisdom to see beyond immediate problems
love and desire, good times and bad

I found these qualities in my second marriage; I speak from experience of both a very poor marriage, and now, a very happy marriage.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: