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piss I've fallen for my partners friend.

(78 Posts)
bristolcities Thu 27-Dec-12 14:34:40

I have been with my partner for 8 months we have just moved in together, we had a small house warming, 2 of my friends 2 of his, most fell asleep or left by 2ish but my self and the freond stayed up untill 6. At the end of an amazing 4 hour chat we kissed, I stooped him before anything else happened.
I love my boyf but we have nothing in common and I guess living together has just highlighted this. He is having a hard time of it at the moment and I feel utterly ashamed of my self but I can't help thinking of the friend all the time. I don't know what the vest thing to do for everyone is. I am fully expecting a roasting, maybe I need it, definitely deserve it.
Pardon the typos, I'm using a basic phone

OhEmGee25 Fri 28-Dec-12 15:08:11

How old is the OP and both blokes??

VBisme Fri 28-Dec-12 16:49:17

I'd guess at her being late teens and the blokes being early 20's.

WhoPutTheDickOnTheSnowman Sat 29-Dec-12 05:21:01

I think you have some work to do on yourself frankly.

Personally I don't care about your age, I'm also not listening to your protestations - what it says between the lines reads much more clearly.
You can be 15 or 50 and have the wisdom of Solomon (if not the experience) you can be 15 or 50 and be emotionally immature - emotional immaturity doesn't always come as a package either; you may have a solid work head, you may recognise your Bach from your Brahms but you sure as shit haven't made solid relationship choices in the best interests of yourself or your son.

You said your previous relationship was of 6 years duration, you loved 'obsessively' which is a telling word itself and now your actions - not what you are saying but what you have actually done - show an incredible lack of awareness of your self and situation. You moved in after 8 months start to finish, if it was just you then fine it's not the biggest commitmet to leave if it doesn't work. But you have a son, it's not about you any more it's about him - that's the deal when you have kids as you well know. Your bf bears as much of my scorn as he also has a child.
If you were writing this childless my response would be vastly different - it's really no big deal, you won't be the first or last to find out things weren't as you thought they would be.
But this is the honeymoon period and this has happened - it doesn't take a genius to see that this does not have the legs to stagger on. He deserves more - to have someone faithful to him that loves him completely; you deserve more than feeling guilty for behaviours you will assuredly perpetuate and your son deserves more.
You say you know you can make him happy even if you aren't at the moment - you've got your priorities ass backwards and I am confused by your refusal to consider what has been said. You may be 18 or you may be 42 but that doesn't make a jot of difference when you are behaving like a teen. It is your actions that determine life not what you say or think.

You may do well to answer some of the other questions on the thread that deal with introspection - I haven't seen that here, just a lot of wallpapering. You need to look deeper than the superficial feelings of guilt at betrayal - you acted badly, many do - but that isn't the issue here and that's what you need to address.

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