Help- I feel wretched

[Tweet2tweet]

Hi there

First apologies for Xmas eve downer post. I usually love Xmas time.

Anyway am currently pregnant, have Dc under 2 and work ft. Have felt wretched for last 3 days and went to gp who diagnosed me with respitorary infection and gave me an inhaler.

Dh not speaking to me as he had to take day off and says I didn't look after him well enough last time he was unwell.

He's not asked me how I am, or more importantly how impacts on baby. I feel so very alone, don't know why he's treating me like this, can't bare it.

To make matters worse his mum called to check about lunch tomorrow and I started crying, she wasn't very sympathetic. Told me was because I'm unwell and should perhaps think about staying in on my own for Xmas day.

He told me he'd never speak to me again if I ever spoke to his parents, so maybe she told him. I begged her not to.

What am I to do? I have no energy and he's sleeping in spare room. Tried to get him to tell me why he won't speak to me and he won't communicate.

There's no one for me to talk to and I'm worried my health is getting worse but he's said I'm on my own with dc from 26th.

Sorry for rant/not making sense, am not with it.

[Confuseddd]

It's going to be okay... From experience, having a toddler/ being preggers/ dealing with in laws at Xmas is a bit of a tough combination to weather... Without being I'll as well. Massive hugs, honey & lemon, rest. Talk to someone who loves you eh mum or sister if available. Your DH, if he's anything like what mine was like at this point (I've been in your position), is still very much coming to terms with the realities of family life. It will all work out okay. Talk to a friend or loved one - DH or mil will probably not be best placed to support youX

[Tweet2tweet]

I am wheezing a bit and have a very chesty cough. Doc listened to my chest and said he thought was a bit of an infection on my right side.

Have taken inhaler 3 times and some paracetomal. It's more that I feel totally exhausted, bugged up and when I cough it's quite deep in my chest.

[Alliwantisaroomsomewhere]

It sounds like you need to ring the out of hours (OOH) numbers as a PP suggested. That's what they are there for so used them.

[izzyizin]

Your dh sounds a total arse and it's probable he inherited the trait from his dm.

Tell him if he takes himself off and leaves you alone to cope with dc and while carrying another of his offsring and while you're seriously under the weather, he needn't bother coming back.

Your health is far more important than tomorrow and, if it comes down to it, you can celebrate Christmas/roast a turkey/eatmince pies any day.

Do you have a walk-in clinic nearby that you can get to tonight or in the morning?

If not, and if you're struggling/can't drive, ask for a home visit from your doctor's practice or call an ambulance.

[Tweet2tweet]

I know this sounds pathetic but he just thinks I have a cold so I would be too scared to call oop. Am going to go to bed and see how I feel in the morning.

I do hope we can work through things, I don't want us to end.

Thanks for kind words everyone.

[Wishfulmakeupping]

Get well soon OP

[MordecaiMargaret]

Do you have any family you can call and talk to?
That sounds very tough, I hope you feel better. Your dh is being horrible, don't let him make you think you've done anything wrong. Even if it was just a cold, you're pregnant and he's the one who should be taking care of you.

[AngelPup]

Poor you! Chest infections are horrible. They really can make you feel like death. Try to get some rest and drink plenty of fluids. If you aren't well in the morning, don't be pressurised into going for Christmas lunch. That happened to me once and going out set me back. It also caused more strain because I wasn't able to enjoy myself or eat. Sounds like a day in bed might be a good idea (and if DH is out of the house, you can then call the out of hours service for advice if you need to). You can always make up some story about not wanting to pass it on to mother-in-law or something if you don't feel able to say what you want.

I am sorry you are having a hard time. Please make sure you put yourself first here rather than trying to please, or pacify, everyone else. Do what YOU need to do tomorrow to get better. And please don't feel scared about calling the doctor...you are pregnant so are vulnerable. Anyone who ridicules you for seeking medical advice is beyond contempt.

As other posters have said, put our energy into getting physically well for now. Once you are fit and healthy you will be in a much better place to tackle the relationship issues. Do speak to your doctor though about all this...it sounds as though some emotional support wouldn't go amiss and your doctor may have some ideas about how you can get this.

Take good care. Hope you feel much better soon. X

[lunar1]

Hope you are feeling better in the morning

[Tweet2tweet]

I just wanted to say a really big thank you for your messages of support. I truly mean that, I can't tell you what a boost you have all given me. I was in tears this morning and the kind things you have said. I hope that you have all had a great Christmas Day.

I am still unwell but think I am through the worst. Will see doc again on fri if not much better by then. Dropped a couple of hints at dh's parents at lunch and they were v.supportive. He didn't take to well so i went to loo to get out of the way for 5 mins and when back he was a bit better. Am hoping they maybe told him he was being an a- hole too.

Anyway, have survived Xmas day, am in my bed and plan to donor much else!

[AngelPup]

So glad you are through the worst!

Also glad in-laws were supportive today...that's great...exactly what you needed. It beggars belief that men can be so uncaring. It is like if it isn't about them, or meeting their needs, they are not interested. I really do sympathise.

Once you feel physically better again I am sure you will feel stronger emotionally too.

Have a good rest, keep taking the medicines and drink plenty (of water!). DH can look after himself for the rest of the week I'm sure!