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condoms - advice please

(55 Posts)
rubberbaron Sat 22-Dec-12 21:53:53

how do you go about choosing which condoms to buy? i can take measurements before i go to the shop. they only seem to have a width measurement on them (from what i've seen). i'm not sure where/how that measurement is supposed to be made. also do they vary much? as condoms are made from a stretchable material and are going on to something which changes size, are most regular condoms the same and it's not something to get too deeply into... is it only if the member is extremely unusual in shape and size, that you need look much further into this. also do they need to have a bsi kitemark? or is the ce mark good enough?

HollyBerryBush Sat 22-Dec-12 21:59:28

Perhaps the bloke should bring his own?

izzyizin Sat 22-Dec-12 22:05:58

Before buying condoms take extensive measurements of the member in question and draw a diagram that will aid the shop assistant/pharmacist/barber to select the most appropriate condoms for it.

Better still, why not take a few photos of your penis to show so there can be no doubt about the size/shape of condoms required. Or simply unzip your pants and whack it on the counter. Rest assured that most shops have a magnifying glass on the premises.

You can choose whether to have a ce or bsi kitemark at your nearest tattoo parlour.

Hth.

EchoBitch Sat 22-Dec-12 22:06:26

I read that bsi kitemark bit as a bitemark. grin

izzyizin Sat 22-Dec-12 22:09:40

The legendary Ms Bobbit? What a bitch, Echo grin

NinthWavingAtTheSnowman Sat 22-Dec-12 22:10:02

Condoms are quite expensive, why not nip to Clintons and buy some of those little balloons for making sausage dogs with? They should be long enough.

Pantofino Sat 22-Dec-12 22:10:49

Aw I feel for you. Is this your first time?

EchoBitch Sat 22-Dec-12 22:12:08

You calling me a bitch izzyizin? angry

EchoBitch Sat 22-Dec-12 22:12:55

I like how that writes ^^...fangry <<bares teeth>> grin

TalkativeJim Sat 22-Dec-12 22:14:02

Condom sizing us all over the place these days. I find that Boots come up very big, but Superdrug are pretty true.

Halfords come up small, avoid.

Pantofino Sat 22-Dec-12 22:14:07

You used to be able to get them for free from Family planning. I have <<ahem>> come across many men (or not) and never met one who needed special made to measure ones.

pELFicFloorClenchReminder Sat 22-Dec-12 22:14:55

Why not ask to try some on, just to make sure.

EchoBitch Sat 22-Dec-12 22:17:01

You have come across them Panto? <<raises eyebrow>>

izzyizin Sat 22-Dec-12 22:17:33

Nah, not you, Ebitch... Lorena; aka she who bit off more than she could chew grin

EchoBitch Sat 22-Dec-12 22:18:45

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn Sat 22-Dec-12 22:19:12

I think some posters are being mean to you here OP. There's a subtle way of finding out which size to get.

Find a banana, corgette, marrow or mange-tout that is the closest match to your willy, take that to the shop to show the pharmacist and they will guide you in the right direction without you being arrested for indecent exposure.

EchoBitch Sat 22-Dec-12 22:20:13

Ah yes,Ms Bobbit. grin

EchoBitch Sat 22-Dec-12 22:21:09

Corgette Keema?

Tut Tut. wink

EchoBitch Sat 22-Dec-12 22:24:23

Where's rubberjonnie gone?

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire Sat 22-Dec-12 22:26:39

hmm

izzyizin Sat 22-Dec-12 22:28:36

On those performances occasions when you have come across many men, Panto, were they behind you? hmm

rhondajean Sat 22-Dec-12 22:29:52

On the off chance that this was actually asked by someone trying to get advice about what they should buy so they don't knock their fifteen year old girlfriend up...

<pauses to glare at naughty posters>

You should always buy bsi marked ones

It is really pretty much one size fits all

There are are good tips here:

www.avert.org/teens-condoms.htm

Pantofino Sat 22-Dec-12 22:30:27

Courgette Keema? I was thinking baby sweetcorn.

izzyizin Sat 22-Dec-12 22:33:01

With a name like rubberbaron, rhonda? hmm

TisILeclerc Sat 22-Dec-12 22:37:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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