I am 31 weeks pregnant with my second child, my first DD is 4. I have been married for 9 years, together for 14. My husband has been very distant for the last 6 months and 2 weeks ago I challenged him and asked if there was something going on. Then the shit hit the fan! He says he doesn't love me, hasn't for about 2 years! I still love him and thought we were just having the same kind of ups and downs that everyone has. He says he's very depressed and the only way to fix it is for us to not be together, I can only see that this will make all of us miserable.
We don't have big, blow out arguements, but we have had a tough 4/5 years. My previous company was not happy about me having children and managaged me out of the organisation (when DD was 1), I was unemployed for 6 months which was hugely financially difficult and took a long time to recover from plus the impact on my self esteem etc. Then 2 years ago my mum died, quite suddenly, I didn't go to pieces as I had DD and other family members to consider. Now pregnant again my new company (I work FT) seem to be singling me out and I feel very uneasy about their intentions.
We have been to 2 counselling sessions where he has reiterated the fact that he wants us to split and feels that the counselling is to help me come to terms with this. I feel that we owe it to ourselves and our children to try and fix this.
He says there isn't anyone else but I can't see how he could be so committed to the idea of splitting without an attractive alternative option. I have said that if he wants to seperate then he needs to say that and leave, he won't committ to this. He is reluctant to talk to his family/friends about it because he doesn't want to look like a bastard. I don't want him to regret splitting and try to come back when I feel it's too late.
I have told my sister and she is very supportive but I just feel so alone, in limbo and scared that everything I wanted for my/our future is destroyed because of his mid life crisis.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I'm pregnant, husband says he doesn't love me, I'm just lost.
MrsGwizz · 21/12/2012 12:01
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