I am 31 weeks pregnant with my second child, my first DD is 4. I have been married for 9 years, together for 14. My husband has been very distant for the last 6 months and 2 weeks ago I challenged him and asked if there was something going on. Then the shit hit the fan! He says he doesn't love me, hasn't for about 2 years! I still love him and thought we were just having the same kind of ups and downs that everyone has. He says he's very depressed and the only way to fix it is for us to not be together, I can only see that this will make all of us miserable.
We don't have big, blow out arguements, but we have had a tough 4/5 years. My previous company was not happy about me having children and managaged me out of the organisation (when DD was 1), I was unemployed for 6 months which was hugely financially difficult and took a long time to recover from plus the impact on my self esteem etc. Then 2 years ago my mum died, quite suddenly, I didn't go to pieces as I had DD and other family members to consider. Now pregnant again my new company (I work FT) seem to be singling me out and I feel very uneasy about their intentions.
We have been to 2 counselling sessions where he has reiterated the fact that he wants us to split and feels that the counselling is to help me come to terms with this. I feel that we owe it to ourselves and our children to try and fix this.
He says there isn't anyone else but I can't see how he could be so committed to the idea of splitting without an attractive alternative option. I have said that if he wants to seperate then he needs to say that and leave, he won't committ to this. He is reluctant to talk to his family/friends about it because he doesn't want to look like a bastard. I don't want him to regret splitting and try to come back when I feel it's too late.
I have told my sister and she is very supportive but I just feel so alone, in limbo and scared that everything I wanted for my/our future is destroyed because of his mid life crisis.
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Relationships
I'm pregnant, husband says he doesn't love me, I'm just lost.
MrsGwizz · 21/12/2012 12:01
I'm so sorry that this is happening to you, while you're pregnant at Christmas 
But I haven't got even the slightest doubt what's going on. He's having an affair but they haven't got a place to live together just yet.
All will possibly be revealed if you look at his phone, although most men who drop a grenade like this seem to know that it's their wives' first logical conclusion, so they get a bit more careful about deleting the traces.
Sometimes an affair bring brought out into the open stops it in its tracks, but you might not be able to forgive and try again even if that happens.
You and your children might have a much nicer christmas if he left now, because the tension of playing happy families will be palpable.
And he does need to leave.
He's having an affair and its probably been going on for about a year, hence the haven't loved you for 2 years nonsense. Tell him calmly that you KNOW this and hint at proof you have. Give him something to think about then you should kick him out. Let him know immediately and with brutal precision that this is how life will be for him now. It's so hard to do but it's the only way.
I am sorry this is happening to you I really am 
. A man who says and does this to his pregnant wife is the worst possible kind of twat.
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