Yes, I know I've asked an AIBU question but thought it more appropriate to post under 'relationships' ....
DH's dad suffered from dementia for the last 5 or so years of his life and had to move into care for the last couple of years. He lived at the other end of the country so as well as being emotionally draining, supporting him also had a huge practical impact on our family life - with DH spending one in four / one in three weekends up with him, and trying to manage FIL's affairs from a distance the rest of the time.
FIL unfortunately died a year or so ago and so DH again had to spend lots of time away clearing the house, getting it ready for sale, periodically visiting to make sure it was ok etc. which again had a big impact on the family. At the time I'd just given birth to DS2 and also had a 6 year old DS1.
6 months or so ago it did sell and DH inherited half of what was left after care bills were paid ... but that's another story.
At that time DH had recently lost his job and was wanting to start his own business so was using the money to fund himself while he found something he wanted to do. (He has since used a small amount of the money to startup an internet business but it is something that will be a real slow burner and so is unlikely to generate income for a year or so, even then it is likely to be a few hundred pounds a months so a nice supplementary income but not something to live off.)
DH has also used some of the money to fund some -strictly limited! building works we needed doing to enable us to carry on living where we are now DS2 has come along.
What keeps bugging me, even though I keep telling myself that it's DH's decision to make, is that in none of this has he ever considered using any of the inheritance for anything family related - he spoke about us taking a couple of weeks away to chill out after everything that's happened but in the end that didn't materialise and it's now a vague, 'why don't we have a week or so camping next year'.
Wouldn't it be a natural thing to do to do something that gave you quality family time? Again it's his decision but I think why it keeps coming back into my mind is what this says about his attitude towards the family as a priority.
AIBU? Is it a 'man thing', just a different perspective on things? Or would you be feeling mardy too?
Thanks for bearing with the long rambling post .......!
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Relationships
DH's inheritance - AIBU to expect him to think of the family?
namechangedtoprotectthemardy · 20/12/2012 23:30
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