I met this guy online about 6 months ago and hit it off easily.
We have a sort of LDR because we live in different towns (45m away) although we work in the same city, although not close to each other.
My issues are that I am divorcing DV ex. He was very jealous and at some point wrote that he?d kill me if I got with someone else. Not that I care that much about the specific threat, but I don?t want him to pester DS or to difficult the divorce even more if he finds out.
So, I have been keeping it secret from DS (7), which means not meeting very often. Also because ex is not around to take DS some days of the week.
And I don?t want to impose a relationship on DS without being fairly confident it will last.
We spend the night together at best every 15 days, but usually meet 1-3 times during the week. Mostly for about 1 hr, or more at weekends (usually with DS too). We also talk for an hour or more every night on the phone.
He has been mostly great, is good with DS and even the cat. I have met a friend of his, but not his family, nor him mine (in this case mostly by lack of opportunity). Although I was considering introducing him over the Christmas holidays.
There have been little things. More like yellow flags, that I have noted, but haven?t considered significant so far, and nobody is perfect.
However, when I stayed at his over the weekend, when we were in bed starting to getting it on (and that is a different thread), he said: ?You have to tell your DS that we are together. It's all very well meeting like this, but I want to be able to spend more time overnight at yours?
I was shocked enough to stop it. And he asked me if I was sad, which, again, was a bit weird, IMO. I said I was pensive. At the time I admitted that maybe I was being too cautious. But thinking more and more about it, it feels like a red flag.
It was the timing and the words he used.
I would be receptive to a proper conversation about the subject, at another time, and without being told, particularly something that involves a young DC.
I think I have made up my mind to finish it off. Probably tomorrow and I have bailed out of tonight?s regular phone chat. But would like to have your opinions.
Could he just be frustrated? I can understand it.
Or could really there be something behind it?
Because of ex (and MN) my spider ?twat-- senses are on full alert (even if they are not full proof). And his words can't get out of my mind.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Dumpable offence?
Lueji · 17/12/2012 23:30
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