I'm after some advice please! My partner of ten months is lovely, thoughtful, kind... bla bla... we get on great, things couldnt be easier really.... he talks long term about mving in together etc... everything is good. But his child (who doesnt live with him but he sees a lot of) has issues with our relationship i think.... Until recently we all got together (my kids, his child) every other weekend and sometimes for tea in the week... to start with everything was great... but i think the novelty has worn off for his child and everytime we got together he threw a tantrum (he is 10!) if he didnt get his way (over minor things). Cutting a long story short, i think basically he doesnt want to share his dad at all, when he sees dad giving attention to anyone else the tantrums start (and they are full blown howlers any 2 year old would be proud of).
I dont think my partner really has any idea how to deal with this and has basically given in to him...and we now dont all get together (partner is very much take the easy non confrontational route). During the last tantrum we spoke to his child and he admitted he didnt ant to spend time with us all, that he would rather have life his way, doesnt care if his dad and i want to be together (Im paraphrasing) DP says his child is dyspraxic and thats the route of the problems. I have little experience of dyspraxia but my understanding is that its a coordination thing, not an emotional response thing....
I realsie kids need time to adapt etc... but we have done the slowly gently approach... and everything was going great....
It now basically means we get very little time together... and over the xmas hols we will see each other for 2 days out of 16, for example.
In a nutshell i think DP doesnt really want to deal with the issue and lets his child manipulate him thru emotional blackmail (plenty of evidence for this). But I cannot see how our relationship can be long term if we dont address this.... so what do i do? how can i sort this out?
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Relationships
New partners child
cluelesstoday · 15/12/2012 17:01
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